She's caught, she's paying, and she's scared.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by MidwestMom, Nov 20, 2014.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Police called us tonight. They called the woman who forged my name and asked her to come down to the station for a talk. She broke into tears then said, "I'll pay the $200!" The cop told her he couldn't tell her what to do right now, but that he would have to talk to her and that this could be serious. That it was a felony. She said that she'd get fired from her job at an assisted living home if she got a felony on her record and that she had to pay child support.

    Ok, so I shouldn't feel any sympathy, but I sort of do.

    The cop called us after calling her and talking to her, and told me it is really up to me what happens to her. She could end up in jail or pay a fine. We can get the district attorney involved, which is bigger, or we can keep it small. I know this guy really well from when we lived in that town so we were able to be candid with one another, even though he's a policeman. I told him I really didn't want to see anyone go to jail. I want a few things from her and then we can just go for the minimum and her job would remain intact. I just want the money right away and I want to know where she cashed this check. It's such an obviously forged check that I'm convinced she knows the person who cashed it and my husband and I are interested in talking to the people who run the bank or check cashing dive or whatever it is. Nobody knows where/how she cashed this check and got the money. The check ended up in my father's bank so somebody cashed it. Digits are stamped on the back of the check, but nobody knows what the digits mean. So she needs to come clean about where the check was cashed.

    Maybe because of difficult child, I don't really want to be responsible for anybody going to jail, yet I don't want her to just have no consequences so she can do it again. She has a history of writing bad checks, but, until now, has not done anything that could land her in jail.

    Just curious...if anyone feels like checking in. What would you do? $200 is a lot of money to us and she obviously knew exactly what she was doing. My husband, more than me, is intersted in why she did it. I'm not really all that interested. There is no good reason why she did it. She did it because she is a crook. But that's his biggest question of interest. The why of it. I just want her to make it right and tell us who cashed the check. And I hope she learns a lesson and stops writing bad checks and now forging checks that aren't hers. I am not interested in destroying her over this.
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2014
  2. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    MWM, I'm kind of hard line about this, but I'd have a hard time feeling very sympathetic, especially as she has a history of writing bad checks. I'd let her bear the consequences of her actions.

    It isn't your place to worry about her job or her child-support responsibilities. Those are hers to deal with, her choices and her consequences. I'd let this play out as it is meant to.

    Sorry to hear you are going through this. I hope you get your money back asap.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    GN, if this was somebody I loved or cared about I'd be much harder on her because I'd want to make sure it never happened again. I'd be invested in the person's outcome. I think because I don't know her I feel very detached. As long as she pays us back and lets us know who cashed the obviously forged check, I really don't care about her life. She is already scared.

    But I'm going to sit back and think about what you've written. Why would I just want to let her get away with it? I have to think about this tonight. It merits some mulling over. I'm glad you brought to my attention that her responsibilities are not my problem.

    Even as I type this out, I am inclined to make no decision at all anymore and let the cops deal with it. I am glad I posted here and happy you posted the wake up call. Regardless of what I may have done, my father is furious and he is not a forgiving man. His bank is also investigating this and he is also a wronged party and I'm sure he would like to see her sit in jail forever over this. He is one of the particles of my DNA collection who can be very cold and he is not a happy man right now. She will definitely not be finding any mercy there.

    Thanks again.
  4. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    MWM, how many people has she hurt before you and your father? How many people will she go on to hurt if she is not stopped now? That is the real question you have to ask yourself.
  5. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I don't know ... I'd have to think about it too. She certainly knew exactly where to go to get it cashed, didn't she! And she's too good at it to be a first-timer. Do you think she was in cahoots with whoever cashed the check for her? I'd be willing go bet that you're not her first victim and probably not the last either.
  6. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    If she has a history of it, I would strongly consider pressing charges. Do you know if this is her first criminal offense? If it is, then she won't get that much jail time at all. The more important thing is, it would be on her record. Could you imagine how many other people she has done this to or is going to do in the future? That's scary. So, I would press charges if this is her first criminal offense because I know she won't get that much jail time and plus, she is married, so her husband should be helping her financially, right?

    I have a few questions out of my own curiosity. Would the police go after the person who cashed it if you don't charge her or does she need to be charged in order to go after the people who cashed it for her? Also, are they saying they really can't identify which vendor cashed that check? If so, that is a sign of something pretty serious, especially in this day in age where everything can be traced. So , in that case, oh hell yeah I would go after these people. There might be some under ground criminal ring going on here.

    How come the cops didn't make her come clean about where she cashed the check when they had her?
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    She has written bad checks a lot. She's never gone to jail, but I'm sure she has had trouble with the law before because it's on the internet on her court records.

    Everyone thinks the person who cashed the check is in cahoots with her and that person is also going to get into some sort of trouble, if only getting fired. My father wrote the check out to me. She wrote my name on the back and then underneath my forged name, "in the care of Jane Doe." Jane Doe was her name. Why would anyone accept that check as valid? We have a copy of the check now. So do the cops. And a judge will also see it.
  8. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Wow. In the state I live in, they throw you into jail for writing a bad check. If your account stays over drawn for more than two weeks, bam, warrant out for your arrest. She wouldn't survive in this state at all if writing bad checks and forgery is her thing. They are so tough about it, I don't even write checks to pay my rent because I get paranoid god for bid accidentally I don't have enough money in my account. I always pay with money orders for this reason alone. They wouldn't even give her chance if she lived here.
  9. I will go for the 200 dollars and putting a stop to places where they can cash the checks. Our prisons are filled with non-violent offenders and probation violators who pose no physical to our society. We pay for this and it doesn't make them better people. Mostly they graduate in crime behind bars. Community service cleaning parks or other kind of manual labor would teach her better.
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hmmmmmmm. It's true and an interesting point of view. However, I don't consider stealing the same as putting people in jail for, say, smoking pot, which I feel is silly. Stealing from somebody is not a victimless crime. And it isn't the first time for her. My father is too old to spend his days sitting at the bank, starting a new account because of risk or answering questions and filling out forms half the day. When you do something that is against somebody else, then to me it isn't the kind of crime that should automatically be discarded. She never told the police she was sorry at all.

    I did not miss the difficult child connection with this woman. Her tears were for herself. "I knew this day would come. I'll pay them back right away! I'll lose my job if I have a felony on my record and I have to pay child support." I, I, I.

    Never once, "I'm so sorry that I did this to those people."

    It is the next morning. I am going to allow the police to complete the investigation then my husband and I will talk about how far to press charges. I have to know more about this and her to have that kind of information to make this type of decision. I don't like being in his position either. I do not like to be able to control another person's fate in a negative way, even if they h ave done something wrong. Yet the burden is being place specifically on me...about how much I want to punish her or not punish her. This isn't a horrible crime, although we clearly do not have enough money to give any of it away to a stranger. It is not a victimless crime. It is also not a violent crime. Nobody was threatened or harmed physically. It's going to be a tough decision. Here is how my kids have reacted. I found it interesting.

    Jumper: (future cop) Wait and see.

    37: Oh, throw her in jail. She deserves the max!!!

    Sonic: So if I get like a pizza coupon with someone else's name on it and I don't mail it back I can go to jail?

    Julie: I think you should press charges, Mom. She'll keep doing it if you don't. What an idiot!
  11. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    As someone that has chronic illness, this is my worst nightmare - having someone that cares for me having the ability to go through my things and take what they want. It is also something I saw frequently in the living situations of my developmentally delayed sister's community - caregivers just stole from these people because they knew they could get away with it. Although you owe it to no one to follow through with prosecuting this woman - if you have it in you, please consider doing so. With all the "other" types of crimes you see her committing I would bet she also steals from those under her care and that's another reason her job is so important to her. With the nature of her "job" it doesn't take much imagination to see where this woman could be stealing from those under her care. As important ans that money is to you, you know you will be reimbursed eventually, if you can, for the benefit of all those innocent elderly/disabled, prosecute SO she does lose her job!!!
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member


    I never thought about that. I just saw her FB page and she has a sweet face and nice posts and I was thinking that I wonder if the patients at the home liked her. I didn't even think about if she would steal from them. Of course she could. This is assisted living, not nursing home care and many of the people who live there are highly functional and keep their belongings in their rooms.

    That, above all else, has resonated with me.

    She has also written bad checks. This isn't her first round.

    Again, thanks for that perspective. Maybe she needs to get a job where she isn't around anyone else's money.

    I read up on the law regarding what she had done. Cashing a bad two hundred dollar check and getting away with it is a misnameaner (this word is probably butchered) with fines up to $10,000 and 9 months in jail. But forging somebody's name is a Class H Felony. She could do up to six years.

    I have no interest in putting her in jail. That's up to the court. But I do want to stop her from her easy access to other people's belongings. She does not appear to have any remorse for us, the victims. She seems, typically difficult child, only sorry she got nailed. I am hardening my stance, but still want to hear back from the interview at the cop shop today.
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  13. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    Thanks for considering it. It is amazing to me what these caregivers will steal. One stole my sister's bible (told sister the woman who stole it needed it worse than she did LOL) Stole sis's favorite Disney jacket, one, who claimed to be a so-called "Good Christian" stole all 8 of sis's brand new bras. They helped themselves to her beloved Cokes, her gifts of food, well just anything that wasn't tied down. One tried to steal her TV, had to get the police involved in that one. Also at one time, before guardianship, family used to buy her clothes because she was always dressed so shabbily, then later, after buying the clothes, she would still be dressed in the same old rags. One day I went to help clean up sis's room. In the closet I found a bunch of brand new clothes - tags still attached - in someone else's duffel bag. Wasn't hard to figure out they had gather up everything with tags on it to trade it in for things for themselves. I never left another article of clothing for sis with a tag on it after that. Yes these people can be quite determined to take out their low wages and make gains by helping themselves to items that don't belong to them! In the case of this woman it can't even be determined that she hasn't forged checks belonging to her clients - maybe just not caught yet!
  14. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    The more I think about it, the more I think you should press charges and go for it. If she works in assisted living, she's had every opportunity to have done this before. Maybe you're just the first one to figure out that it was her. If she's in these people's homes, she has access to their check books, credit cards, etc. In your case the $200 was a gift and probably not desperately needed ... but what if it wasn't? She had no way of knowing but she took it anyway, which infuriates me! What if that money was going to someone to help pay their rent so they wouldn't be evicted? Or someone who was going to use it for grocery money or to pay their utility bills to keep their heat on? She didn't know and she didn't care! Theft is such a selfish act! And in the case of the clothing with the tags still on them? They may have been planning to return them to the store for a cash refund. Some people are just heartless!
  15. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    I wonder if she thought she was going to get caught? I question her intelligence if she thinks she wasn't going to get caught. The next option is, maybe she didn't care if she was going to get caught and why is that? Thought of a few reasons: Is it because she was desperate? Desperate for what? Drugs? If so, can not be working around the elderly. Is she a major difficult child, not on drugs, but thinks she can get away with it, entitled? What about her husband. You say he has a good job, but is he starving her financially to where she has to do something like this? Is she in dire straights? All of the above , one of the above or none of the above. It just always boggles my mind that people commit crimes that they can easily get caught for. My friend, who has a very high IQ, still commits crimes until this day that are so stupid (such as this one), it would make your head spin. At almost 40 years old, and getting arrested all of the time, you would think he would learn something. He is in jail as we speak and frankly, very frankly, he deserves to be in there. He is a danger to his family and community.
  16. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Anyone who steals or commits forgery should have NO access to vulnerable populations. I totally agree with 2much.
  17. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

    I haven't got a lot of sympathy for her. I'm often dubious about hearing 'hard-luck' stories of people who've been caught, as if their crimes have no victims and we should just make allowances for their behaviour. I think some people have a ready supply of sad stories to use as excuses, a lot of us have kids with a supply of their own 'sad stories' ready to use only if the need arises, if there are consequences.

    I'd be more interested in the place that cashed the check though. I think that's the real issue here and they need to be prosecuted for enabling an obvious fraud. Who knows what other dodgy rackets they're involved in.
  18. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    This person sounds like my exsil. The idea that someone else gets hurt by her actions does not matter to her. It isn't that it doesn't occur to her, or that she is unaware that others get harmed. The simple reality is that no other person on earth matters to her except herself. She wants, she wants, she wants. Period.

    My exsil used the "I will lose my job and my kids will starve" koi for DECADES. Is still using it. She used it to go on a very fancy cruise, to wear only brand new designer clothes and shoes, to buy only brand name foods and the fancier foods. Heck, she even dressed her poor sons in clothes she purchased from Goodwill to go and beg several different small business owners to not press charges for bad checks. Those poor boys wore the Goodwill clothes ONLY if Mommy needed to get out of a jam, and they were HORRIFIED. NOT by used clothing, but by the absolute LIE that wearing them meant they had to go along with. Even by age 10 the boys knew this was wrong. Imagine the shock on the business owners' faces when they saw the boys up at the school in very expensive brand name clothing.

    In reality, those business owners and the other people who didn't press charges against exsil didn't do any good for anyone, ESP not exsil's children. They allowed her access to her patients as she was a home health care nurse who forged checks etc... to keep up with her drug and alcohol addictions. She was on the sub abuse program for nurses longer than any other person in the history of our state (yes, I have seen documents from the nursing board telling her this - she got 2 full YEARS more than any other person by conning the people in charge of it ). She had that many more YEARS to be able to not just take $$ from her clients, but to also do physical harm to them. Oh she didnt beat them. She just took their pain medications and other medications and let them suffer with-o their medications. she just passed out from the opiates and left her patients alone and with no one to help them go to the toilet, avoid bedsores, bring them food and water, etc...

    And that doesn't BEGIN to address what she has done to her sons and is doing to my niece (her daughter).

    Her 1st ex, her sons, and even hr 2nd and 3rd exes (gfgbro and some other guy) ALL pleaded with various people to press charges, but few ever did. It meant she got unrestricted access to her children, to vulnerable people, and to the rest of society. it also taught her that there isn't anything 'really wrong' with identity theft, forging checks, outright theft, or many toher crimes.

    Please, please please be nice. To everyone else - press charges against this person.
  19. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    That is horrible and maddening. Wow. It upset me just reading it.
  20. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I agree, she knows someone because the checks are not photo-perfect.
    And since she's been doing it for a long time, she must be stopped. Now.
    Most people like that, in our area, do not go to jail. They go on probation and have to do community service. In the meantime, chances are, her boss might find out through the grapevine. But unless someone from work is searching city databases for arrests or warrants, they may not ever know. She's already got a job so why would anyone do another background check?
    In the meantime, I would prosecute. You don't want others being harmed this way. She is a crook.
    We all have personal and financial issues. Why else are we on this board? She has no excuse.