She's Here

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Aug 3, 2014.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    D day has come and gone.

    Mom arrived yesterday after much ridiculousness. They would have been here around 6pm except my brothers kept getting themselves lost and having to call Nichole's husband for directions. lol So they didn't arrive until near 10pm. omg

    Next fun thing......... Mom was supposed to have ONLY brought her bed, dresser, tv & stand, clothes, and other small items she needed. Instead..........she brought everything she had. So now my home is overflowing with furniture I don't necessarily need and too much STUFF.

    Carpet will be installed tomorrow at noon which means all this furniture and STUFF will be moved around yet again. But I was smart and paid extra so the installers have to move the furniture.

    I expected her not to be in good shape. I'd not quite expected the level of FRAIL despite her protest to the contrary. While packing to move here she fell down the 4 steps to her family room. She broke her pelvis and tail bone. She is ever so barely walking. (not surprising)

    In her current state there is no way in hell I'm going to be returning to work any time soon, if ever while she is living here. :(

    Maggie did fine, but she met mom as a younger pup. The walker just makes her nervous.

    Rufus, did about what I expected. Except with mom actually here and all the stuff here............holy hell I just do not see a way of making this work and keeping him. :( :( I'm not going to make rash decisions. But the poor boy not only has to get used to mom in his house but her walker. I can easily see him knocking her over just by walking past her. And when mom falls she breaks something........every single time. Travis worked really hard and cleaned his room. Rufus can hang up there to some extent but certainly not the whole day & night and while he can go outside too.........again not all day or night. We can't use baby gates because mom would trip over them or be unable to move them when going from room to room. And if Rufus wants to he jumps them without effort. I also won't have Rufus being put into his crate every time he turns around. That's just not fair to Rufus.

    So Nichole and I spent some time thinking up options for Rufus.

    I won't put him outside as he is very much an inside dog and he'd cry all night I'm sure or bark. And I don't want another dog outside.

    Our country pound is fabulous about finding rescues. I thought I could (hopefully) go ahead with getting him fixed, pay his adoption fee at the pound (gives him a much higher chance of being rescued) and get him off to a good rescue that will finish his training and socialization. I don't want to do this, but I may have no other choice.

    Trying to rehome him myself I doubt will work. Due to his health issues he has not been socialized very much and does not warm to strangers well.........takes him a longish time. So someone may love to have him and come pick him up and change their mind when he looks like he wants to eat them. Know what I mean?? So I just don't see that working.

    We're still trying to figure out what the issue is health wise. I've not had time to get him back into the vet to have his hips checked. If it's hip dysplasia.......well then that lowers his odds of getting a new home nearly to zero........and He will have to be put down. (not without trying to find a rescue first)

    Like I said, I'm not making rash decisions. It's been chaos around here for at least a week.......now with mom's arrival even more so. There is new furniture, new stuff, a new person, a walker, people coming and going. I will give him some time to adjust. I will try hard to help him adjust. And due to the walker I might get lucky and he just keeps his distance from her.

    At the rate of deterioration with mom I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't make it past 12-18 months. I would kick myself for giving up Rufus and have mom gone in a few months. He is a sweetheart. He's just hit the adolescent stage with dogs where he knows it's his job to protect but he's not quite sure who or what all he is to protect us from. Good lord he walked up to the tv and growled cuz he saw his reflection. lol If I can hold out until he passes out of the stage, which lasts a few months.......then he might be just fine. Dunno.

    But I couldn't sleep last night. Having mom here just ran it home how small the house becomes once the livingroom is converted into a bedroom. ugh :(

    Any other ideas for Rufus throw them out there. Travis is very upset. Rufus is just about the ONLY reason he leaves his room except to eat.
     
  2. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    Can you have Rufus in a foster home for awhile? Maybe you and Travis can have him over for visits once a week or so to make sure he doesn't forget you. If you pay towards the food, maybe a rescue could help you find someone. Once your mom is more used to the house and you have put her stuff away, and Rufus is older and better trained, he can come home. Maybe you can have him specially trained how to behave when he sees a walker, like to avoid it or stop until it goes past?

    As for your mom, is there adult day care so you can work at least part time? Maybe you can get her a nurse from hospice a few hours a day?
     
  3. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I truly hope there is some way you can keep Rufus. Can you keep Rufus upstairs and your mom downstairs? Travis loves him so much. Maybe the dog can be on a leash only when your mom needs to get up. And that can be Travis's job. After awhile Rufus will eventually learn not to go near grandma. I don't know, just don't give him up, it's not fair to Travis. Can you get some type of disability for caring for a sick family member? Look into the Family Leave Act.
     
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I made up my mind to make this work if there was any possible way. By darn if I could stop Rufus from being food aggressive, bone aggressive ect I might be able to work with this situation. He really really wants to do good for Mommy and have my approval. (he just doesn't always have it click right away of what I'm wanting/not wanting him to do)

    When mom woke from her nap I told her that Rufus has to have time in the room with her........and for now, NOT when she is up walking with the walker. She'll have to ignore his barking. So Mom sat and tempted he and Maggie with Swiss cheese (their favorite cheese) as she ate a roast beef sandwich. When Rufus barked/growled I clapped my hands loudly (like I've done when he's shown aggression toward Maggie) gave him a firm NO, when he continued he got put into his crate for time out. A few minutes later he got to come out and try again. And he managed to sit for cheese although he was nervous. We had to draw that session to a close when Mom was determined to use an authoritative voice and it was riling Rufus up again. When we did their evening routine of playing in the yard and their walk and brought them in mom was in the living room . Rufus did just fine. Mom tempted them with cheeze its......another doggie favorite around here. I did warn her to stop trying to use an authoritative voice. Rufus doesn't know her from Adam and was leaning toward taking it as a threat. Uh, no. I told her sweet grandma would work much better. So with some cheese it's and a sweet voice Rufus was able to stay in the room with mom for more than an hour. The walker isn't so much of an issue, it's this stranger in the mist. Maggie is still a bit nervous about grandma but is doing pretty darn well and the walker doesn't bother her unless mom is rattling it about.

    This doesn't necessarily mean it will work with Rufus.......but it is a start. I'm sure given a while both will warm up to mom. Then we'll have to see if they steer clear of her when she is walking. They do right now, but that doesn't mean they will once they're used to the walker.
     
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