She's Struggling

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tiredmommy, May 15, 2012.

  1. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Duckie has gotten herself overtired and stressed with being sick last week, mother in law's continued downhill slide and all of the end of the year activities that are getting into full swing. She's getting erratic and obstinate. She's incredibly talkative and exhausting to be around. She's jumping out of her skin. She's also upset that I'm insisting on her being in bed on time tonight, but she really needs the rest (and so do I). I'll start giving her a Wilbarger Protocol tomorrow.
     
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I hate this time of year.
    difficult child has done exceptionally well this year - best ever - but... still 7 weeks to go, and his gas tank was empty before Easter break.
    And this is the time of year they load on the field trips and performances...
     
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    TM, I'm sorry you and Duckie are both going through this. I usually hate end of the year stuff but since we switched to online school, we aren't having ANY of those issues.

    Insane, SEVEN weeks left. HOLY COW!!! Glad we don't live there. WOW!!
     
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Ya. School here starts first day after Labour Day... and goes to almost June 30.

    Mind you, that includes a month's worth of big breaks (2 weeks at Christmas, a mid-winter week, and Easter week).
     
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Thanks. Our academic year ends 6/21. The strain of mother in law's decline is just tremendous younger (developmentally disabled) sister in law flipped out on Saturday and that's really when this started to get bad. Then she had an audition for a summer production on Monday. Some of the girls in the school orchestra have been getting catty that Alicia has been 1st chair viola for ages and now her BFF has been moved up to 2nd chair. Her allergies have been horrendous even with medication. She's has four dance classes a week and they're getting intense because recital is right around the corner. And she's stressing about her end-of-year party guest list since two of the guests got into a physical fight yesterday at school. And she has three music tutorials after school in the next week and two concerts back to back nights nights next week. Ugh!!!

    At least she slept a little better last night.
     
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Poor Duckie (and you), give her some hugs from this auntie and I'm sending some for you as well.
     
  7. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    This is such a hard time of year for lots of kids.
     
  8. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    So she lost it tonight about schoolwork. She has three essays and two projects due over the next week and half or so. She finished one last night (about her favorite part of elementary school). She just found out about another in which she has to give an enthusiastic description of what they do in orchestra, this is due Friday. There's also one due soon from D.A.R.E. She has one page to due for a science "scrapbook" and must finish her project on a family member that immigrated to the US.

    She was so stressed that I actually sat down with her and helped her to start to write the essay by telling her I would type. I gave her a few suggestions on how to start it and, thankfully, it's done. I told her we could finish the science and social studies projects over the weekend. And we'll deal with the D.A.R.E. essay after that.

    There was something nice about the immigration project. Duckie's teacher told the students that they could choose a family member or create a character that immigrated here. I'm sure that this was for the benefit of any adoptees in the class. There is one boy in the class that was adopted from the Ukraine, so he is doing his report on himself. :)
     
  9. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    ... and she had trouble sleeping last night....
     
  10. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    TM,

    The end of the school year was always a tough time for my difficult children too. It's too bad they always seem to load the kids up with homework so close to the end of the year. Just creates a recipe for disaster - Too many things happening at once, end of the year parties, recitals, etc... Poor Duckie, on top of everything else there are her allergies, her grandmother... Way too much for any kid... It's good that you stepped in to help her schedule her time. By breaking things down for her, allotting time for each project, I think it'll make it easier for her to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

    Sorry Duckie had trouble sleeping again last night. Hoping she has a bit of down time, you too!, somewhere in the weekend... Thinking of both of you... SFR
     
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I really miss school, dream of going again....BUT I was a huge stress monger especially end of quarter or year issues were the worst. Can't imagine how it is for a difficult child. Maybe I was more of a difficult child than I want to think??? LOL.

    Sorry she is feeling that stress. Does the W. protocol always work for her right away? Our Occupational Therapist (OT) says to be ready for things to be worse before they get better as his body readjusts and integrates signals again....I have decided to hold off because I haven't done it since he was little and I dont want to risk it since things are going well. I would love to hear about your experience.

    I hope once her projects are settled she will feel some relief too. She has had a pretty good year overall, right? Hope this is a smallish bump in the road for her! I am a big fan of hers.
     
  12. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    The end of the year is always so hard. I work very part-time in retail and you wouldn't believe how many "school projects" items I sold last night. I think we must be out of posterboard by now. Plus I'm sure your mother in law's health issues are worrying her too. Sending prayers for Duckie - it sounds like you made a great plan for tackling her schoolwork so she doesn't stay overwhelmed. I hope she sleeps good tonight.
     
  13. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Dee~ Yes, it does help... we saw improvement from the first day. She is a sensory avoider so perhaps it just tuned her down some. She has had a phenomenal year, her teacher was just telling me that she's never had a student come along so quickly from a quirky kid with behavior issues to a class leader. It's like the W. Protocol has been her magic bullet.

    Cubsgirl~ The strain re: my mother in law is huge. husband doesn't understand the pressure she feels when she's expected to play viola for Grandma every time she's there. Especially because she's the only grandchild that really spends any time with mother in law. husband just tries to blow it off, and I have to keep going to bat for her. She's really beginning to resent it all.
     
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TM...have you told the school about grandma? Maybe they would consider shrinking a bit of the projects due to that amount of stress. Everyone knows Duckie knows her stuff so its not about her having to showcase what she knows.
     
  15. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Her teacher knows but the problem lies in Duckie. She has to do and be like the other high achievers in her class or she stresses out. I also had it out with husband a bit last night.

    Me: "It makes Alicia stressed and upset that she's pressured by you to play viola for your mother."

    husband: "But Mom really likes it."

    Me:" You need to think like a father, not just a son."

    husband: "Well, she gets stressed when she has to play in front of people so this just gives her practice."

    Me: "No, this is different. She feels she has to play because she'll disappoint you or upset her grandmother."

    husband: "But Mom keeps saying Duckie's playing is the only thing that relaxes her."

    Me: "Our 11 year old daughter cannot be made responsible for relieving your dying mother's anxiety. It's not right to put that on her."

    husband: "So what do we do, have her stop bringing her viola?"

    Me: "If that's what Duckie wants. Whether she plays or not for your mother must be her decision. Not yours or your mother's. Her decision. And she decides each time we visit."

    husband: "But what if Mom asks her to play and she hasn't brought her viola?"

    Me: "Then we tell her she can't today."
     
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