A......
Your husband LOVES you - he just can't figure out how to fix you...thing is? It's not his job to fix you. That's your job. He's frustrated. Pretty normal emotion when you love someone. If he didn't love you? He would feel nothing. So take that thought with you when you go.
Your children are children. They have the coping skills of people their age. They have no idea what is going on. Mommies are supposed to be like they see in books. They don't read fairy tales to kids where the Mom has anorexia and the house is in chaos. It pisses them off. It makes them angry. They deserve to feel like they do. They WANT normal. They're kids. They'll need their own counseling to deal with this and that will help them, but the BIGGEST thing to help them because you do love them? Is to take care of yourself.
YOU have the biggest burden here of all - the hardest mountain to climb, the biggest demon to put away. You need to look at this mountain and make it YOUR STEPPING STONE. YOU NEED TO just wake up every day and just bless your day with whatever you ARE grateful for - praise and positive attitudes are no place for negative feelings and it will keep those things from you. Just open your eyes every morning and say - "I'm thankful for that ceiling, this bed, that curtain, my slippers, this window, that tree...and keep it up all day long....and then when you feel ugly coming in? Start it ALL over again.....I'm thankful for this door, that person, my hands.....this chair.....my legs....my eyes that see, my ears that hear."
YOU STAY POSITIVE kiddo.......YOU HEAR ME!!!!????
I love you, I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!! I WANT 105!!!!! baby! .....pft.....
(I CANT HEAR YOU!!!!!lalalalala............WHAT ?????? YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR YOUR computer, your screen, your eyes? your keyboard, your goofy friends, and me???? Ahhhhh you are getting it? Youre thankful for the snow, the sidewalk, the birds that are singing, the car, the ice, the blue in the sky? YOU GO GIRL!)
YOU CAN DO EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!