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General Parenting
Should I Hospitalize My Son?
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 357796" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I want to 2nd and 3rd the motion to find a new dr. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>What sorts of rewards do you use for your difficult child? Sometimes you have to over-reward just to get him back on your side, if that makes sense. TV? Computers? </p><p>My son loves kicking doors. Funny, the house we live in has boot marks on the doors from the previous owner. I wondered if that had something to do with-why they divorced. Every house has a story to tell ... anyway, why change the doors now? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>One thing our therapist did when difficult child was little that helped with-difficult child's rages and transitioning was to have me run errands with-difficult child and deliberately change the order of things and deliberately cause a rage. Sounds strange, but it worked. Now that he's older, he can use words (although he still rages occasionally, he at least can verbalize afterward) and he can tell me that I promised to do xyz and it didn't happen (such as your tacos and pizza scene). </p><p>Do you think you could try something like that with-your son? I would suggest that if you do, you do it for an hr a day, with-a friend, preferably a big, military type guy. I live in a military area so I've got a few guys to choose from. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> </p><p>Now, when difficult child just complains like a regular teenager when we have to run errands (or more likely, when he has to sit in the car during an appointment for P, my 81-yr-old cousin who cannot drive) I will reward him and specifically say, "Thank you for being so patient when we were with P." Don't get me wrong--he's not always patient. Last wk I got on his case for being a jerk, and even P told him off. No rewards that day. But you do have to follow through, and no matter how inconsistent his behavior is, your response has to be consistent.</p><p>I hope that makes sense!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 357796, member: 3419"] I want to 2nd and 3rd the motion to find a new dr. :winking: What sorts of rewards do you use for your difficult child? Sometimes you have to over-reward just to get him back on your side, if that makes sense. TV? Computers? My son loves kicking doors. Funny, the house we live in has boot marks on the doors from the previous owner. I wondered if that had something to do with-why they divorced. Every house has a story to tell ... anyway, why change the doors now? :winking: One thing our therapist did when difficult child was little that helped with-difficult child's rages and transitioning was to have me run errands with-difficult child and deliberately change the order of things and deliberately cause a rage. Sounds strange, but it worked. Now that he's older, he can use words (although he still rages occasionally, he at least can verbalize afterward) and he can tell me that I promised to do xyz and it didn't happen (such as your tacos and pizza scene). Do you think you could try something like that with-your son? I would suggest that if you do, you do it for an hr a day, with-a friend, preferably a big, military type guy. I live in a military area so I've got a few guys to choose from. :winking: Now, when difficult child just complains like a regular teenager when we have to run errands (or more likely, when he has to sit in the car during an appointment for P, my 81-yr-old cousin who cannot drive) I will reward him and specifically say, "Thank you for being so patient when we were with P." Don't get me wrong--he's not always patient. Last wk I got on his case for being a jerk, and even P told him off. No rewards that day. But you do have to follow through, and no matter how inconsistent his behavior is, your response has to be consistent. I hope that makes sense! [/QUOTE]
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