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General Parenting
Should I Hospitalize My Son?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 357855" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>Hi xka! I just wanted to let you know that I agree with what some others said. Restraints always made my difficult children escalate far worse and then they grew so much it was not possible to contain them any longer. We also had to remove all things because they could be used for destruction or be destroyed (although we've had walls, doors, etc...broken that you can't always remove). If doctor isn't listening, definitely I'd seek out someone who would listen. Sometimes therapists also aren't the right match (we've had that happen a few times) for either you (they don't listen) or your child as the child needs to be able to work with them too. Medications are always an issue too because, as you know it's like a **** shoot in finding ones that work. We've had many that were really bad and made things far worse or did absolutely nothing (focalin was one of them). The suggestion was made to check into what hospitals were around you and also your insurance situation, that's a good idea as well as what day programs as you will and should use that for follow up program once out of the hospital.</p><p></p><p>What I wanted to offer in addition from my perspective is this: </p><p></p><p>My oldest difficult child (who is now 18 and more easy child like then anything) was 6 years old when I first had to place her inpatient for the first time. I knew NOTHING of what I know now. In fact I knew nothing period really and was just beginning to learn the ropes via this board. It was THE hardest thing I have EVER EVER had to do! I didn't want to and couldn't face putting her in the hospital with so many fears and reasoning why NOT to do it. But the simple fact came down to, in the end, she was homicidal and suicidal and the day I did it, she was running away in a rage and gave my father a heart attack because he chased after her because she was running down a highway not thinking where cars were. I should have made the decision sooner I know now but I hesitated out of fear and being scared for her. I can honestly tell you it was the BEST decision in the end I ever did because after that things started moving along in a positive direction. We got a proper diagnosis for her (unlike what we had before) because they could evaluate her better then just in an office and do all the testing that was needed. They could do a medwash safely (take her off all medications) and begin trialing something that we could at least start out with (of course over time that would change a bit as she grew).</p><p></p><p>She was not raging when we did it (and I know it may not occur for you like this). We waited for the next day when she was calm and took her on a ride and brought her to the place. She waited in their special room while we did paperwork. When the time came the transporters told her she had to go with them. Of course she did not like that, was afraid (didn't like to be away from us). She cried, kicked, screamed, etc.. I heard things I wished I hadn't but knew I had to endure. They ended up carrying her with her arms and legs flailing (4 of them to properly hold her). I cried for 48 hours and couldn't function it hurt so badly. I still hurt to this day but now know that I did the right thing. We did have to hospitalize her again but it never was like that either. I'm not telling you this to scare you, although it might. I'm telling you this so that you might see the reality of what "could" be so you have a heads up and can be prepared and know that it WILL be alright and that there are others out there that have felt what you are feeling and have gone through it.</p><p></p><p>Calling 911 for a suicidal child is your best answer if your doctor isn't responsive to your pleas for help as it does sound like your difficult child needs that level of help.</p><p></p><p>My thoughts are with you. I know how extremely difficult this situation is for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 357855, member: 455"] Hi xka! I just wanted to let you know that I agree with what some others said. Restraints always made my difficult children escalate far worse and then they grew so much it was not possible to contain them any longer. We also had to remove all things because they could be used for destruction or be destroyed (although we've had walls, doors, etc...broken that you can't always remove). If doctor isn't listening, definitely I'd seek out someone who would listen. Sometimes therapists also aren't the right match (we've had that happen a few times) for either you (they don't listen) or your child as the child needs to be able to work with them too. Medications are always an issue too because, as you know it's like a **** shoot in finding ones that work. We've had many that were really bad and made things far worse or did absolutely nothing (focalin was one of them). The suggestion was made to check into what hospitals were around you and also your insurance situation, that's a good idea as well as what day programs as you will and should use that for follow up program once out of the hospital. What I wanted to offer in addition from my perspective is this: My oldest difficult child (who is now 18 and more easy child like then anything) was 6 years old when I first had to place her inpatient for the first time. I knew NOTHING of what I know now. In fact I knew nothing period really and was just beginning to learn the ropes via this board. It was THE hardest thing I have EVER EVER had to do! I didn't want to and couldn't face putting her in the hospital with so many fears and reasoning why NOT to do it. But the simple fact came down to, in the end, she was homicidal and suicidal and the day I did it, she was running away in a rage and gave my father a heart attack because he chased after her because she was running down a highway not thinking where cars were. I should have made the decision sooner I know now but I hesitated out of fear and being scared for her. I can honestly tell you it was the BEST decision in the end I ever did because after that things started moving along in a positive direction. We got a proper diagnosis for her (unlike what we had before) because they could evaluate her better then just in an office and do all the testing that was needed. They could do a medwash safely (take her off all medications) and begin trialing something that we could at least start out with (of course over time that would change a bit as she grew). She was not raging when we did it (and I know it may not occur for you like this). We waited for the next day when she was calm and took her on a ride and brought her to the place. She waited in their special room while we did paperwork. When the time came the transporters told her she had to go with them. Of course she did not like that, was afraid (didn't like to be away from us). She cried, kicked, screamed, etc.. I heard things I wished I hadn't but knew I had to endure. They ended up carrying her with her arms and legs flailing (4 of them to properly hold her). I cried for 48 hours and couldn't function it hurt so badly. I still hurt to this day but now know that I did the right thing. We did have to hospitalize her again but it never was like that either. I'm not telling you this to scare you, although it might. I'm telling you this so that you might see the reality of what "could" be so you have a heads up and can be prepared and know that it WILL be alright and that there are others out there that have felt what you are feeling and have gone through it. Calling 911 for a suicidal child is your best answer if your doctor isn't responsive to your pleas for help as it does sound like your difficult child needs that level of help. My thoughts are with you. I know how extremely difficult this situation is for you. [/QUOTE]
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