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Should I Hospitalize My Son?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 357924" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You seem to feel that this indicates it has to be a lot more than "just" Asperger's, but nothing you've described tells me it has to be anything more.</p><p></p><p>That doesn't mean you haven't got problems - not at all. But the degree of raging, even mood swings, suicidal comments - it all fits under the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) umbrella because this is far more than just a medical condition; it is also the person's reaction to having that medical condition. Add in everyone else's reaction to the person trying to cope and not succeeding, and you have a very complex picture that needs a lot more than merely medication.</p><p></p><p>Not even hospitalisation will help fix this. All it can do, is help you over a short-term crisis. The suicidal feelings will still be there, if the reason for them is still there. And merely growing up and trying to cope with the world when you have Asperger's, is enough reason for a kid to feel suicidal and to rage, often.</p><p></p><p>If you fear for your immediate safety, then call an ambulance or call the cops. Otherwise - it won't fix a thing. </p><p></p><p>Clearly what you are doing now isn't working. So when something isn't working, toss it out. The same goes for the doctor - if he's not working, find another.</p><p>A lot of Tourette's Syndrome usual parental discipline stuff often backfires on kids like this and can trigger the raging. I wouldn't try to deliberately trigger a rage, in my opinion. But I think I can see the point such suggestions are trying to make - we need to teach our Aspie kids to cope with being a bit off-balance. I don't think you need to trigger a rage to do this, you can instead push them towards a challenge but be prepared to let them back away if it is too confronting. For example, when we were travelling in NZ, difficult child 3 was still very fussy about his food, while we were in a foreign country where we like to try the foods in the region. So it was SIL1 who did the magic here - he said to difficult child 3. "Try this. YOu only have to have a taste. After you've had a taste, you don't have to have any more if you don't want to. But I want you to tell me if you like it and why; or if you don't like it and why not. Please tell me in your own words."</p><p>difficult child 3 when he has a taste of something new, will need a glass of something to drink, to wash the taste away if he doesn't like it. We also know to avoid certain textures which we already know he hates (creamy textures; sauces).</p><p></p><p>A lot of the reason for these kids raging, is they feel loss of control. That doesn't mean control as in "I have to be the boss of it", it means a need to be able to predict what is going to happen, in order to be ready for it. This is a part of the disability, and frankly giving way in this, especially if it's no skin off your nose, will go a long way with your Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child.</p><p></p><p>A book that works very well for a lot of us, is "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It gives us a different way of looking at them and of disciplining them, that is workable and effective, as well as a great deal easier.</p><p></p><p>if you want a quick preview, go to Early Childhood forum and read the stickies. Read other threads - we've written so much on this over the years! Then get a copy from the library and read it. ASAP. You're desperate now, your desperation will only increase. But tis could help and negate the need for hospital, ambulances and police. Or holding him down.</p><p></p><p>This is a kid with determination, right? Well, the best controls applied to such a kid, are the controls he already has. A determined kid is a kid with the potential for a vast amount of SELF control. All you have to do is become his facilitator, stop being his disciplinarian and help him learn to manage himself. He will probably be better at it than most people, and learn it faster.</p><p></p><p>This may seem ludicrous to you right now - but your son sounds so much like mine (apart from the physical size) that I'm sure this can help. ANd any help has got to be a bonus at the moment.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there, let us know how you get on.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 357924, member: 1991"] You seem to feel that this indicates it has to be a lot more than "just" Asperger's, but nothing you've described tells me it has to be anything more. That doesn't mean you haven't got problems - not at all. But the degree of raging, even mood swings, suicidal comments - it all fits under the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) umbrella because this is far more than just a medical condition; it is also the person's reaction to having that medical condition. Add in everyone else's reaction to the person trying to cope and not succeeding, and you have a very complex picture that needs a lot more than merely medication. Not even hospitalisation will help fix this. All it can do, is help you over a short-term crisis. The suicidal feelings will still be there, if the reason for them is still there. And merely growing up and trying to cope with the world when you have Asperger's, is enough reason for a kid to feel suicidal and to rage, often. If you fear for your immediate safety, then call an ambulance or call the cops. Otherwise - it won't fix a thing. Clearly what you are doing now isn't working. So when something isn't working, toss it out. The same goes for the doctor - if he's not working, find another. A lot of Tourette's Syndrome usual parental discipline stuff often backfires on kids like this and can trigger the raging. I wouldn't try to deliberately trigger a rage, in my opinion. But I think I can see the point such suggestions are trying to make - we need to teach our Aspie kids to cope with being a bit off-balance. I don't think you need to trigger a rage to do this, you can instead push them towards a challenge but be prepared to let them back away if it is too confronting. For example, when we were travelling in NZ, difficult child 3 was still very fussy about his food, while we were in a foreign country where we like to try the foods in the region. So it was SIL1 who did the magic here - he said to difficult child 3. "Try this. YOu only have to have a taste. After you've had a taste, you don't have to have any more if you don't want to. But I want you to tell me if you like it and why; or if you don't like it and why not. Please tell me in your own words." difficult child 3 when he has a taste of something new, will need a glass of something to drink, to wash the taste away if he doesn't like it. We also know to avoid certain textures which we already know he hates (creamy textures; sauces). A lot of the reason for these kids raging, is they feel loss of control. That doesn't mean control as in "I have to be the boss of it", it means a need to be able to predict what is going to happen, in order to be ready for it. This is a part of the disability, and frankly giving way in this, especially if it's no skin off your nose, will go a long way with your Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child. A book that works very well for a lot of us, is "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It gives us a different way of looking at them and of disciplining them, that is workable and effective, as well as a great deal easier. if you want a quick preview, go to Early Childhood forum and read the stickies. Read other threads - we've written so much on this over the years! Then get a copy from the library and read it. ASAP. You're desperate now, your desperation will only increase. But tis could help and negate the need for hospital, ambulances and police. Or holding him down. This is a kid with determination, right? Well, the best controls applied to such a kid, are the controls he already has. A determined kid is a kid with the potential for a vast amount of SELF control. All you have to do is become his facilitator, stop being his disciplinarian and help him learn to manage himself. He will probably be better at it than most people, and learn it faster. This may seem ludicrous to you right now - but your son sounds so much like mine (apart from the physical size) that I'm sure this can help. ANd any help has got to be a bonus at the moment. Hang in there, let us know how you get on. Marg [/QUOTE]
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