Should I make my easy child wear a bra? She's getting big!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by MidwestMom, Mar 24, 2007.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My easy child daughter won't even say the word "bra." She calls it "W." It's a buzzword for "whatever-you-want-to-call it." She covers her hears and blushes if I say "bra." She is really embarrassed at the idea of wearing one, although I know many of her friends do. She's only ten, almost eleven, but she's big enough to bounce a little under her shirts. She's going to be tall and well-developed. Would you make her wear one? I feel bad. She's a nice kid, sort of a Tomboy, not really into her appearance yet.
     
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Maybe try a sport bra or racer-back when she's active (soccer, etc). Ease her into it, so to speak.
     
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I was going to suggest the sports bra type thing but call it something else. Do they still make those undershirts that are fairly tight? Do girls still wear them? LOL. You can tell I dont have girls. Maybe she can wear a onesie! That is the extent of my girl apparel right now. At least under clothes.
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I made her buy some sports bras...lol. She wouldn't even hold the bag. Poor kid. I didn't need a bra until I had a baby :smile:
     
  5. realangel

    realangel New Member

    easy child#1 was 12 when she started wearing a bra. she hated it and refused to wear it, told me she wanted to be an adult who didn't need a bra... am thinking all girls go through this stage? She now wears it all the time with pride!! I think the 'if you don't wear it you'll end up with your boobs on your knees' talk did the trick LOL!!

    easy child#2 is getting there.. she's 12 now, time for the talk again?
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    LOL! I didn't think of that. I should tell that to my daughter.She doesn't even like having little ones...lol.
     
  7. realangel

    realangel New Member

    Well if she doesn't like little ones you don't need to worry about her wanting an enhancement then LOL!!
     
  8. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Kanga wanted a bra long before she needed one. She finally needed one just before she turned 11. But I remember never wanting one.

    You might want to try the full spandex-y shirts; they are like the old tank top undershirts that we wore when we were little but they are made of compression material like a sports bra. Because it is a shirt and not a bra she may go for it and get a little support too. You can find them usually by the workout clothes.
     
  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I remember girls at that age not wearing them when they needed to. I also remember the 'talk' that had to be made at school to tell the girls that they should wear bras during gym!

    That was embarassing!
     
  10. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I was late wearing a bra although I needed one. It was because my mother insisted I should be properly fitted for my first bra, but she was too ill to take me bra shopping for several years. My first bra was a B cup, which was too big to have left unsupported for so long. And yes, girls at school were really mean and nasty about it. In the same way, girls who developed large and early were treated as morally bankrupt and promiscuous.

    My advice - don't make her wear one if she doesn't want to. It has to be her choice. BUT - I would suggest to her that some sort of support would be useful, especially when she's doing kid stuff like climbing trees, running, jumping or anything really active. A sports bra would be good but I think it's too much for her emotionally at this stage. ANY shirt which provides hidden support would be a great idea - you've got summer coming in, I spent most of summer wearing a swimsuit top as a singlet top over a skirt. You can always throw a longer sleeved shirt over the top, or take off the loose shirt if it's really hot weather.

    A singlet top with a shelf bra built in is maybe a good option - they can be tricky to pull on, with everything so tight, but once it's on it really disguises boobs. It also flattens them a bit so she won't look so big. She might like that. Here's a link which should show what I mean - http://www.flexonline.com.au/cgi-bin/site-editor.pl/8/-ecommerce?action=item;item=BW0028;eid=571977

    Whether she likes it or not, her body is betraying her (in her mind). Denial will not make her boobs shrink. Ancient Greek women athletes would wear a cloth band over their chests to flatten everything and hold things steady so sport didn't cause pain. Anything you can persuade her to try that will have this same effect should be easier for her, as long as she can think of it as NOT a bra, but simply support for looser flesh. A white singlet top with built-in hidden shelf bra should make undressing in the gym at school a bit easier - she can leave the singlet top on under her sports uniform.

    The other problem is BOYS. She is probably terrified at the thought of them finding her attractive and wants to look flatter. So LET her look flatter if she wants. The issue for her right now is comfort, not looks. If she can find something which provides support without making her chest look more obvious this should make her happy. Try and think like she does, with a deeper level of aware and concerned mummy.
    Give her want she wants to keep her safe and comfortable. Work with her on this if she will let you. Make it clear YOUR aim is her physical and emotional comfort.

    Marg
     
  11. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I just got difficult child a couple of tank tops and they had the little bra liner thing in them to give you support, ha ha she is only 5.5yo!!! But the tank is a size 8 I think she is really tall and broad for her age and with the medication weight gain I bought it big.
    But it made me think maybe one of these would work under a shirt??? This was from Gap. Very cute.

    My niece was a 36D at 13yo and her Mom was afraid to talk about it!!! So I had 2 really nice sports bras fwom when I was nursing that were V cut in the front, so supportive and cute!!! I just put them in here bag when she was visiting, I had only worn them once... they fit and she was so happy!!! So was Mom.

    I had to go to the neighbors house for bra and period info when I was 9yo!!! I lived with my adopted Dad only!!! It was horrible... I hope my girls are delayed a bit longer than I was...

    Good luck.
     
  12. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I remember that my daughter didn't want to wear one at that age either, even though she needed one. Peer pressure has a lot to do with it too. They don't want the attention of being the first one in their group to be wearing one, but they don't want to be the last one either! And when the girls start wearing them, the boys start noticing that they are wearing them!

    Another thing is the comfort factor, especially for an active kid. After wearing a bra since my very early teens, I hardly notice it - like my glasses - it's there but I don't pay any attention to it. But I still remember my very first one and how uncomfortable it was to get used to wearing it. I felt like I was all tied up in it, like wearing a straightjacket!
     
  13. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Unfortunately both my girls had to wear them at your easy child's age. My easy child was proud as a peacock. N was furious with me.

    If your noticing, so is everyone else. It's time, even if she doesn't like it.

    Since she's a tomboy like N, I'd go for comfy vs practical. Then if she is anything like N (or I was at that age lol) you'll have to watch to make sure she's wearing it. If she doesn't want the other kids to know you can look for clothes that will help hide it.

    Usually it is just getting them over the initial idea for those who aren't thrilled with it. Like I said, N was furious with me at first. But after about a week or two I couldn't get her to take it off. Still can't. She even sleeps in the darn things.
     
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I just read all the posts and thank you. LOL to she won't want breast enhancement!! But I don't think she'll NEED that either (sigh). Actually, most girls in her class in our very small school already wear bras. I can only imagine how thrilled my daughter will be when she gets her period...lol! And it'll be coming soon. She's been PMSing lately...:)
     
  15. realangel

    realangel New Member

    eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek @ PMSing!! I have 2 daughters with permanant PMS and its no fun. I just take my revenge at my 'time' LOL
     
  16. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    If she's really embarrassed to talk about it, she'll be even more embarrased if she's talked about.

    I think I would go that route with her. Let her know that you notice her development in certain shirts and if you notice, others will as well. I would also suggest that white comfortable sports types to start.

    She'll be hooked on Victoria Secret soon enough!!!!!!!!

    sharon
     
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