Should I Share?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Christy, Jul 16, 2008.

  1. Christy

    Christy New Member

    I have a friend with a four-year-old. He is having problems in preschool, suspected to have ADHD, an Occupational Therapist (OT) is suggesting a neuropsychologist, and I have been helping her through things from a been there done that standpoint, I think she would benefit from the forum, particularly the Early Childhood Zone, but I am reluctant to do this because I don't want her reading my posts. How stupid is that?(since I am posting them on the world wide web). I just feel like I can really post my feelings here in a different way than I talk to my friend or family. Here we can be both personal and anonomous and I don't want that to change. On the other hand, I think she would benefit from others who are in the same situation and I want to help.

    Should I share the website with her or just continue to help in other ways?

  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Gosh, I don't know. If my friends don't like my feelings, they can't be my friends. :)
    It depends upon if you've posted personal things about your marriage, finances, or other issues you don't want her to know.
    But the info about your difficult child, hey, have at it.
    in my humble opinion.
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, just a thought--I've recommended this bb to 2 other people and neither took me up on it. They apparently just wanted to complain and not really do anything.
  4. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    I've shared the website with others but I understand what you mean and I don't think it's stupid. One of the great things about this site is that I can tell all (well, not really "all" but you get the point!) and not worry that people I know in real life will be reading and judging me.

    I struggled over whether to share the site with my sister-in-law but finally, I did. I did change some of my identifying information (made my profile more generic and changed the state in my location to midwest). I also wasn't as open in my posts for awhile. I also changed my username because I use that username in my email address and other public social networking sites. And I think sister in law lurked for awhile but doesn't anymore, so I feel like I can be much more open than before.

    It's up to you, but I understand your dilemma.
  5. Christy

    Christy New Member


    Linda, it sounds like you did not feel as free to post your mind and took steps to protect your "privacy". This is one of the reasons I am leaning towards not sharing at this point.

    Terry, you make a good point, but actually there are things here that I share about difficult child that I may not choose to share with my friend. Sometime I do share and other times I do not want to talk about it as it is emotionally exhausting. It's hard to explain, I guess.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I've shared this website with many. But then I'm one of those people who lay it out there and if you don't like it, tough. I just don't give a hoot what other people think.

    Believe it or not, I shared with one person I knew from somewhere else on the web. She's still here. Although doesn't come around as often as she used to. I smiled when I recognized her introduction post to the board, welcomed her with everyone else, as I would anyone else, and that was that. My user names are different. If she's figured out who I am, she's never said anything. Fine with me if that makes her comfortable. I'm just glad she's getting the help and support she desperately needed when I directed her here.

    Most don't seem to take me up on it. Ok by me too. It's their choice.

    I've given the link to neurologists, neuropsychs, tdocs, and psychiatrists too along the way. All who thought it was wonderful and told me they'd let their patients know online support was available if they wanted it.

    It's a double edge sword. You could be helping her, but by doing so are you going to be as open and outright as you were before? Is it going to affect your use of the board and what you get from it?? Because the reason we have usernames is for privacy. (me, I don't need it lol) If it's going to hamper your posts, then I'd say it's not a good idea.

  7. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Me? I don't share! AAAAGGGGHHHH! I'm a difficult child!

    Seriously, I've been tempted, but I laid out my thoughts on a forum that had NOTHING to do with my kids exactly once. My sister had written a post about a very well known family member who was deceased but still highly regarded. I simply said that she shouldn't be posting very private information about a very private person who could no longer argue the validity of the statement. My sister became outraged and has smeared me every way from Sunday to my family, friends, neighbors, and people on forums that had always shown me a lot of respect.

    As a matter of fact, she got so ugly in tearing me, my husband and my kids down, that I went to my father to ask him to take me out of his will yesterday so that I wouldn't have to deal with ANY of my sibs (except the youngest - she and I are extremely close - also an outcast) after he passes.

    So, I say a lot of stuff on here (see the above - lol) that I wouldn't share with family.

    If you even feel a hair of a doubt, my vote is: don't share!

  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I have shared it. Many ignore me, a few have come here.

    I HAVE had problems with people I know in real life taking info from here and using it to hurt me.

    So I tend to share it with my internet friends and NOT my in real life friends. It is MY safe place and I don't need hassles because someone took something from here to hurt me.

    It is a personal decision, in my opinion.

  9. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I've given the link to total strangers and identified myself as a member. I've also mentioned it to others closer to me, but in a more offhand way, such as... "I came across this forum when surfing last night and thought of you."
  10. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    go with your 1st instinct. If it's a trusted friend, then your business will be kept your business and vice versa