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Should I step in or back off...
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 71278" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>CAMom - I haven't read the other responses so forgive me if I repeat...</p><p></p><p>He's 18, he's graduated, he has no job, he isn't going to school, and he's using your home as a shower/laundry facility? Nope... doesn't cut it. *Especially* given the fact that he's been in a structured environment for the last 10 months... that structure, in my humble opinion, needs to continue, not fall completely by the wayside right now. </p><p></p><p>Had he not had to go to the facility, he *would* have had a summer break. But he made a bad choice, and he really only put the effort in when push came to shove at the facility. He's an "adult" now and it's time for him to act like one - get a job, go to school, do *something*. When was the last time you got 3 months off for doing what you were supposed to do (and in a less than whole hearted effort at that)?</p><p></p><p>I can understand, kinda, husband's opinion but the question is, what happens when winter semester rolls around and difficult child has become accustomed to his "vacation"? difficult child is already squawking about you wanting to know where he is, because he's an "adult"? Sigh... I do tend to expect the worst, but I have to say I think it's not a good idea to let him have all this free time with no responsibilities.</p><p></p><p>I don't know... thank you has made noises about wanting to live here after he hits 18 (if he ever makes it home full time) and I have repeatedly laid out the rules - job, school, pay rent, and my rules 24/7, period. I've lurked on the PE and teen board so long, and have seen older teen/adult children cause so much havoc in family homes. I'm not going there if I can possibly avoid it.</p><p></p><p>What was the understanding at discharge? What was the treatment plan for once he came home? </p><p></p><p>My very strong inclination would be to nip this in the bud. House rules stand and everyone in the home must be involved in a productive activity - school or job. difficult child hasn't, in my humble opinion, earned a hiatus. He should at this point be re-earning trust and moving forward with his life, not stagnating.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 71278, member: 8"] CAMom - I haven't read the other responses so forgive me if I repeat... He's 18, he's graduated, he has no job, he isn't going to school, and he's using your home as a shower/laundry facility? Nope... doesn't cut it. *Especially* given the fact that he's been in a structured environment for the last 10 months... that structure, in my humble opinion, needs to continue, not fall completely by the wayside right now. Had he not had to go to the facility, he *would* have had a summer break. But he made a bad choice, and he really only put the effort in when push came to shove at the facility. He's an "adult" now and it's time for him to act like one - get a job, go to school, do *something*. When was the last time you got 3 months off for doing what you were supposed to do (and in a less than whole hearted effort at that)? I can understand, kinda, husband's opinion but the question is, what happens when winter semester rolls around and difficult child has become accustomed to his "vacation"? difficult child is already squawking about you wanting to know where he is, because he's an "adult"? Sigh... I do tend to expect the worst, but I have to say I think it's not a good idea to let him have all this free time with no responsibilities. I don't know... thank you has made noises about wanting to live here after he hits 18 (if he ever makes it home full time) and I have repeatedly laid out the rules - job, school, pay rent, and my rules 24/7, period. I've lurked on the PE and teen board so long, and have seen older teen/adult children cause so much havoc in family homes. I'm not going there if I can possibly avoid it. What was the understanding at discharge? What was the treatment plan for once he came home? My very strong inclination would be to nip this in the bud. House rules stand and everyone in the home must be involved in a productive activity - school or job. difficult child hasn't, in my humble opinion, earned a hiatus. He should at this point be re-earning trust and moving forward with his life, not stagnating. [/QUOTE]
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