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Should I step in or back off...
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 71479" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>HH--that's my point about backing off. Isn't detachment allowing natural consequences to take place? Can't you detach and provide meals and a roof? I am not going to police my son---been there done that and wear the scars in my heart and in our relationship. At this point I can love him and not support his choices. I can appreciate his good points and not have to resent his bad choices. I have been in both places also. It is much easier to maintain a relationship without all the fighting and nagging...and once the money is gone, CAmom's will have to either work or go without like the rest of the world! Mine is beginning to see the hole he has dug for himself. It's hard...but he now blames himself not us for "making" his life so hard. Living with an addict (in recovery or not) is not easy---but it is his addiction to fight---not mine. All I have to do is love him. How in the world can you keep an 18 year old from hanging out with someone? How can you tell a young adult what they can and can't do with money they earned? It's not like they won't lie to you to do what they want. I would much rather have my son to be honest with me than sneak behind my back and lie to me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 71479, member: 1436"] HH--that's my point about backing off. Isn't detachment allowing natural consequences to take place? Can't you detach and provide meals and a roof? I am not going to police my son---been there done that and wear the scars in my heart and in our relationship. At this point I can love him and not support his choices. I can appreciate his good points and not have to resent his bad choices. I have been in both places also. It is much easier to maintain a relationship without all the fighting and nagging...and once the money is gone, CAmom's will have to either work or go without like the rest of the world! Mine is beginning to see the hole he has dug for himself. It's hard...but he now blames himself not us for "making" his life so hard. Living with an addict (in recovery or not) is not easy---but it is his addiction to fight---not mine. All I have to do is love him. How in the world can you keep an 18 year old from hanging out with someone? How can you tell a young adult what they can and can't do with money they earned? It's not like they won't lie to you to do what they want. I would much rather have my son to be honest with me than sneak behind my back and lie to me. [/QUOTE]
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Should I step in or back off...
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