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Should I step in or back off...
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<blockquote data-quote="CAmom" data-source="post: 71561" data-attributes="member: 1835"><p>I just can't tell you all how MUCH all your input means!!! This is so awesome!</p><p></p><p>I'm going to think through everything you've all shared and respond tomorrow.</p><p></p><p>Just to update, I HAVE considered each response, shared them with my husband, and we did venture into the rules-even-at-age-18-territory. </p><p></p><p>He wanted to know why, at age 18, he can't make his own decisions about when he comes home, although there was no "heat" behind this. We told him that, yes, he was 18, however, he was still being supported by US! He was living in OUR home, being clothed and fed by US, and that, as such, he needed to behave as a part of a family rather than a renter.</p><p></p><p>There's such a big difference in how he approached this and other discussions since he's been home as compared to a year ago--it's almost as though he WANTS us to stop him in his tracks. Tonight is a perfect example: He told me earlier that, since it was Friday night, he'd like to go to the movies and then spend the night at a particular friend's house. We told him that that would be okay, BUT, he needed to be ready to get back to reality fairly soon.</p><p></p><p>He asked if he could have the rest of his two-week "break" from school, and be ready to work on Monday. We agreed that this was reasonable.</p><p></p><p>Later, even after we had okayed this "sleep-over" with his friend, he called and asked what time he had to be home--almost as though we had never agreed to his overnight stay! </p><p></p><p>I'm taking this as him asking for limits to be set, so we told him that, since he was apparently not spending the night at his friend's house, we felt that it would be best for him to be home by midnight as we had previously discussed. There was no arguement. I feel as though my head is spinning...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CAmom, post: 71561, member: 1835"] I just can't tell you all how MUCH all your input means!!! This is so awesome! I'm going to think through everything you've all shared and respond tomorrow. Just to update, I HAVE considered each response, shared them with my husband, and we did venture into the rules-even-at-age-18-territory. He wanted to know why, at age 18, he can't make his own decisions about when he comes home, although there was no "heat" behind this. We told him that, yes, he was 18, however, he was still being supported by US! He was living in OUR home, being clothed and fed by US, and that, as such, he needed to behave as a part of a family rather than a renter. There's such a big difference in how he approached this and other discussions since he's been home as compared to a year ago--it's almost as though he WANTS us to stop him in his tracks. Tonight is a perfect example: He told me earlier that, since it was Friday night, he'd like to go to the movies and then spend the night at a particular friend's house. We told him that that would be okay, BUT, he needed to be ready to get back to reality fairly soon. He asked if he could have the rest of his two-week "break" from school, and be ready to work on Monday. We agreed that this was reasonable. Later, even after we had okayed this "sleep-over" with his friend, he called and asked what time he had to be home--almost as though we had never agreed to his overnight stay! I'm taking this as him asking for limits to be set, so we told him that, since he was apparently not spending the night at his friend's house, we felt that it would be best for him to be home by midnight as we had previously discussed. There was no arguement. I feel as though my head is spinning... [/QUOTE]
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