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Should I tell the truth?
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 475023" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>This is good advice. Thank you all. It had not even struck me that there is a connection between the doctor and a negative reason behind seeing him that it would be better to avoid...</p><p>The "wants it easy, doesn't want to ruffle feathers" part of me is tempted to pretend that Saturday is just tomorrow but another part feels that in trying to avoid trouble, I may in fact just be heaping it up, as klmno says. I definitely dislike J's angry outbursts and would, yes, prefer to avoid them. But at what cost? He is very perceptive, IC, about things in his environment, people's feelings, whether people are lying or not... a kind of hyper-perceptiveness, really. So I may just be kidding myself anyway that he would buy the "magical expansion of time".</p><p>I think... the best thing is probably to tell him that I have to work tomorrow and there is school on Wednesday (which he was going to miss but now can go for the morning) so we will go to get the dog on Saturday. If I add a moralising point such as "things sometimes change", he will explode so I will just make it as low-key and matter of fact as possible. Actually I have begun to find that if I ignore the meltdown and just carry on talking in a normal and pleasant tone of voice, he will sometimes just snap out of it, not go into it. </p><p>No, buddy, the dog is definitely NOT a difficult child <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I was adamant that the dog had to be calm and easy-going... She is an 8 year old border terrier raised by border terrier breeders who can no longer look after her because of illness. So another adoption... Border terriers are known for being amiable and good-natured and this one is apparently even more laid-back and easy to accommodate than most... Any other kind of dog just would not work with J. Or me, come to that...</p><p>DDD, we posted simultaneously: yes, your approach to the doctor's visit is what I always instinctively do. Tell him on the day, not make much of it, not explain anything about it and talk about a nice thing we can do after...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 475023, member: 11227"] This is good advice. Thank you all. It had not even struck me that there is a connection between the doctor and a negative reason behind seeing him that it would be better to avoid... The "wants it easy, doesn't want to ruffle feathers" part of me is tempted to pretend that Saturday is just tomorrow but another part feels that in trying to avoid trouble, I may in fact just be heaping it up, as klmno says. I definitely dislike J's angry outbursts and would, yes, prefer to avoid them. But at what cost? He is very perceptive, IC, about things in his environment, people's feelings, whether people are lying or not... a kind of hyper-perceptiveness, really. So I may just be kidding myself anyway that he would buy the "magical expansion of time". I think... the best thing is probably to tell him that I have to work tomorrow and there is school on Wednesday (which he was going to miss but now can go for the morning) so we will go to get the dog on Saturday. If I add a moralising point such as "things sometimes change", he will explode so I will just make it as low-key and matter of fact as possible. Actually I have begun to find that if I ignore the meltdown and just carry on talking in a normal and pleasant tone of voice, he will sometimes just snap out of it, not go into it. No, buddy, the dog is definitely NOT a difficult child :) I was adamant that the dog had to be calm and easy-going... She is an 8 year old border terrier raised by border terrier breeders who can no longer look after her because of illness. So another adoption... Border terriers are known for being amiable and good-natured and this one is apparently even more laid-back and easy to accommodate than most... Any other kind of dog just would not work with J. Or me, come to that... DDD, we posted simultaneously: yes, your approach to the doctor's visit is what I always instinctively do. Tell him on the day, not make much of it, not explain anything about it and talk about a nice thing we can do after... [/QUOTE]
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