Should I wait until fall to kill husband and we can have a m-i-l combo killing?

[TerryJ2]

Earlier the same day that difficult child's ex-friend's dad called to tell us about the sexting, husband got a call from one of our neighbor's, TG.
We have had neighbor issues from the moment we moved in here, because we have 3.77 acres on the water and everyone thinks it's theirs. So this guy buys the empty houses on both sides of us (one was an elderly couple on the water, who died, and the other did a balloon mortgage and couldn't afford it). Last yr, he chopped down a bunch of trees on the water, incl trees on our property. We had him replant.

Last Sept., he called to be "a nice neighbor" and give us a heads-up, because he heard what had happened about another neighbor cutting down a huge tree on the side of our house and the brouhaha that ensued.

So he decided to give us a heads-up. In TG language, that means he's going to tell us before he does whatever he d*mn well pleases. So he cuts down all the trees in the back yard of this house, which has a huge hill. Does he install stakes and curtains to keep the dirt in place? No. He hires a moron to drive a bulldozer and move dirt around to smooth it out ... which means that the swale we had cut is now obliterated.

This is on an easement that is shared by the city, by the way. It drains from the streets behind those houses into the bottom of our yard, and we finally, after 13 yrs, got it under control.

On top of it, I had just purchased an expensive ornamental miniature weeping Japanese maple and planted it right next to the swale for our anniversary, along with-a cute little bridge I had purchased 6 yrs ago, to create a Japanese type landscape, and the bulldozer guy ran right over it.
So TG promised to replant it. And promised. And promised.
Fall came and went.
Winter came and went. Finally, the week of Easter, husband called TG AGAIN and the tree was replanted.
It was the wrong kind, but similar. Sigh.

So, I'm sick and tired of this whole mess, and we have hired a landscape architect to help us fix up the yard, and we want to get a move on. But TG hasn't decided what he wants to do yet.
I give up and call the city.

They come out and look and tell me that what he did was illegal (no kidding. He also removed the permanent metal marker by the water, and the scrub in the protected wetlands). They say they have to do a survey and they will be back in 2 wks. They came back in 3 wks. No warning, just showed up and did their thing. I figured, fine, at least we'll get an updated survey and our tax dollars will pay for it.
TG calls husband and roars, "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CALL THE CITY AND GO ON MY PROPERTY!" (We do, actually. It's a city easement and it's allowed by law.) "WHY DID YOU DO THAT? YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME! YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED ON MY PROPERTY AGAIN!"
husband blurts out, "I didn't call the city."
"You didn't?"
"No, my wife did."
:wildone:
Aarrrrrrrgghh! Thanks a LOT husband!!!
It was HIS idea to call the city in the first place!!
I really wanted to kill him on the spot but since it was the same day that we had the difficult child sexting fiasco, I thought I'd let him live for a few more days.

Between him and difficult child and the neighbor, I think I understand why I read about genocide in the news.

 

[SuZir]

Sounds like a plan. Killing people in fall has also an advantage that if the corpse is not find quickly, it still doesn't start to smell that badly.

But really, sheeeesh, way to be a gentleman. We here have a saying about ladies first, even on to the thin ice. Your husband seems to understand that approach very well.

What is it in Y-chromosome that makes people to blurt out everything that happens to come to their mind in most unfavourable times?

 

[Star*]

SOooooooooooooo by saying "MY WIFE DID IT" does that give him bonus casino chips to go play in the dirt with Dipstick neighbor killer of the wetlands moron and fix this fiasco and make WIFEY happy? (Or did I miss something here?) - Yes I get the point - blames you, dind't stick up for you - you're furious - but he did manage to salvage a way to keep a communication going with a doofus. .......(thinks for a moment)

Puts out hands as if weighing ----------Peeves off wife who will forgive him eventually..........hand goes down........BLurts out statement to salvage relationship with idiot neighbor that doesn't keep his promises because you have to live next to this dingus for another ten fifteen years at least and you want to try to do it as peaceably as possible? hand goes up ........

I dunno T - it may have been a complete utter total colossal rookie move - but in doing so I think he literally picked the lesser of two evils to keep the peace and try to just get the thing resolved as quickly as possible. AND if that's not feesable? Then this is for husband - ONLY

If you're allowed by your HOA? I think it's just time for a beautifully custom designed bamboo fence or some other stylish fence hand built and t'helk with this nitwit. THAT and redeem yourself with TIFFANYS.....NOW. RUN MAN RUN.

 

[ThreeShadows]

The Army Corps of Engineers should be involved because he is messing with wetlands.

 

[buddy]

For real? He told on his wife? The neighbor sounds like such a bully and if he is ruining the property for all the neighbors he needs a slap in the face, (failing homicide I guess, lol). I am so glad the city showed up. I think he still owes you the special tree you wanted. How can people be so selfish. Why would anyone want to get rid of all the trees anyway? I am no landscaper and even I can picture that leaves things to shift and move and be destroyed. If he bought land on either side of you does that mean he is looking to purchase your land at some point? Is he trying to push you out? I remember seeing one of those 48 hour types of shows where neighbors had a shared driveway and eventually large boulders were placed to block parts and tempers rose and finally people were shot and killed. I know you were not serious and the killing will be your own family (haha) but just in case this guy is nuts be careful please.

 

[DammitJanet]

We have a neighbor like that only we obviously arent on any lovely water...he is just a turd. This is the guy who likes to kill my dogs and who likely has killed Nina. No other good explanation for her never returning. He is trying to buy all the land around us and no one will sell to him. No one. LOL. I think its hilarious. We actually have an easement going right through his property and he is building things on it. We are watching and waiting for him to get more and more things on it and then we are going to go claim that easement. Its only ten feet wide but oh well.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Janet - better check the law on easements... in many places, if they can prove you "could and should" have been aware of what was happening on the easement, then there is a time-limit for making claims... they end up with "squatters rights". Not that I know YOUR laws inside and out, but... I know lots of places where that would be the case.

 

[keista]

Insane, can't get squatter's rights on an easement. Easements are usually permanent.

 

[Hound dog]

So when neighbor confronts you, and he will because he's an a##, you tell him if he stops MESSING up and going on your property and fix what he's done damage to, then you would have no reason to call the city. Until he can do that, he can talk to the hand until he gets over himself already. phht

Or.......you can tell him husband lied, he really was the one who called the city. LOL

 

[susiestar]

Kiesta- that isn't always true. Sometimes easements can be changed or lost, esp if the city isn't involved. So Janet really does need to check with the county about her rigths if she wants to keep them.

Terry, in VA you contact the Army Corp of Engineers, as 3S suggested. I will pm the info to you cause I found it. This is where the EPA website sent me when I looked for resources there. the office is in Norfolk, but I don't know how close that is to you.

I would be furious. DO you have pics of before he wrecked your property and after? If not, get some NOW. Make SURE the date stamp is on.

This is NOT going to stop with a fine and some nastiness from the county most likely. Chances are you will need iether a great shark atty or a great fence or both.

How many years are you going to allow this to happen? Do you realize that YOU may have to pay to do whatever the wetlands needs and then sue him to recoup your costs? Then wait and probably garnish him as he hides assets from you? Your legal bills for this will be enormous.

The other option is to continue as you have started and report him to everyone you can find to report him to, and also to speak with your atty and make sure he is GOOD so that you can protect yourself.

Cause if those trees get replanted and the wetlands gets fixed, but tG refuses to pay for the labor and materials, it will be YOUR property that gets a lien on it. At least at first.

Thsi is year 2. How many do you want to suffer through with this guy completely not respecting your boundaries? There is NO exuse for his behavior and legally he will likely be in a lot of trouble. You and husband nicing your way out of ths helps NO ONE, esp YOU. Do you REALLY want to just let this guy do whatever he wants with your home? What do you do the day he paints the house chartreuse while you are gone for a weekend - and gives YOU the bills?

Even more scary, what happens when he gets HURT on your property? Not being invited there, doing unauthorized changes/landscaping (AKA vandalism and property damage, by the way) does NOT let you off the legal hook if he gets hurt. There ARE precedences in MANY states that if someone on your property, esp someone working, gets hurt then you owe them HUGE $$$ - not just medical costs either. TG could go after everything and even claim you WANTED him to do that stuff because you didn't file charges or take legal steps to stop him.

This goes beyond the yard and the house and the wetlands. This is a serious belief that TG can do anything he wants to you and that you and husband will not stop him. Be careful, get legal action, and document, document, document. If he so much as belches in your direction, make a not of it. This will be a real help to your atty.

Have you read "Boundaries" By Townsend and Cloud and worked with the workbook also? They might be something you find helpful and nteresting.

I am sorry TG is such a horrible neighbor.

 

[Star*]

Ya'll keep kibitzing about easements - I'm trying to get the woman DIAMONDS from TIFFANYS. -RUN MAN RUN....

 

[susiestar]

I think she should get a trip to her favorite art supply store, bookstore, and a FABULOUS massage and meal out - mo spending limits!!!

Diamonds are nice and all, but you cannot enjoy them all the time. i am sure there is some type of art supply or gadget that she is jonesing for. go get it Terry!!!!

 

[TerryJ2]

Hound Dog and Star, ROFL!

Yeah, neighbor is a t*rd. No doubt about it. No, Janet, I don't think he's trying to crowd us out. I think he's an opportunist who saw two vacant or soon-to-be vacant houses and jumped into it. He has bought several houses up and down another street one block away, fixed them up and sold them. I sure hope he sells these two. One of them (Where the elderly cpl lived) is in disrepair and has renters. The good news is that they have a nice little fenced vegetable garden. The bad news is that they have a female pitt bull who roams the neighborhood because they leave the front door open. (TG does the same thing with-his dogs.) The female is very friendly toward humans, but she lifted her lip in OUR YARD last wk when I had MY OWN DOGS ON LEASHES and let them sniff one another. I bopped her on the nose and said, "No!" She stopped, and then started up again. Obviously, they haven't trained her very well. She has never attacked anyone, but the two neighbors across from the renters are waiting for the chance to call the SPCA the min something happens.
The other bad news is that the renters like to peel out in their 4 X 4 and make a racket, and sometimes party too hard on the weekends. I think they are employed by TG.
The other good news is that I am writing a poetry collection called, "Welcome to the Neighborhood," and now I have more poems to write! I thought 24 was enough but I think I can cough up two or three more about this fiasco. ;b

I will call the Wetlands Board and I will take pictures. Thank you for the suggestions, SusieStar. I do believe we have been wusses.
No more.