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Substance Abuse
Should we kick him out?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 644930" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi, honey.</p><p></p><p>Wow, you're a caring, loving sister. I'm sure he knows how much you love him.</p><p></p><p>Considering the history in your family (actually substance abuse can be inherited...or a tendency to become addicted to drinking or pot and other drugs), it makes sense that you'd be afraid for him. However, he is putting you and your mother in danger and is stealing from her and he's broken your mom's rib? Maybe he needs to live in a residential treatment center where he can get 24/7 help and can be watched. That way he'll be getting help and all three of you will be safe. You brother is going down a dangerous path.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, you can't help him, but you can help yourself cope. You can go for therapy or Al-Anon meetings to see how others deal with having loved ones who abuse substances. It is up to your mother what she allows in her own house and maybe she will go with you to learn to cope and to decide what to do. But you are only his sister and you have no power over him. Only he can choose to get better. You do have power over yourself and your reactions to him, but it is impossible for YOU to give up on HIM. Only HE can give up on himself. You can't force him to do anything to help himself other than cheer him on if he does and that won't change him unless he wants to change.</p><p></p><p>This is one of my favorite little prayers:</p><p>"God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I can not change,</p><p>The COURAGE to change the things I can,</p><p>And the WISDOM to know the difference."</p><p></p><p>Be good to yourself. Understand your Mom, if she wants to take care of her health, money, and safety as well. I'm sorry you are going through this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 644930, member: 1550"] Hi, honey. Wow, you're a caring, loving sister. I'm sure he knows how much you love him. Considering the history in your family (actually substance abuse can be inherited...or a tendency to become addicted to drinking or pot and other drugs), it makes sense that you'd be afraid for him. However, he is putting you and your mother in danger and is stealing from her and he's broken your mom's rib? Maybe he needs to live in a residential treatment center where he can get 24/7 help and can be watched. That way he'll be getting help and all three of you will be safe. You brother is going down a dangerous path. Unfortunately, you can't help him, but you can help yourself cope. You can go for therapy or Al-Anon meetings to see how others deal with having loved ones who abuse substances. It is up to your mother what she allows in her own house and maybe she will go with you to learn to cope and to decide what to do. But you are only his sister and you have no power over him. Only he can choose to get better. You do have power over yourself and your reactions to him, but it is impossible for YOU to give up on HIM. Only HE can give up on himself. You can't force him to do anything to help himself other than cheer him on if he does and that won't change him unless he wants to change. This is one of my favorite little prayers: "God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I can not change, The COURAGE to change the things I can, And the WISDOM to know the difference." Be good to yourself. Understand your Mom, if she wants to take care of her health, money, and safety as well. I'm sorry you are going through this. [/QUOTE]
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Should we kick him out?
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