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Should've, would've, could've...
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 533098" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Aww SuZir, give yourself a break, hon. You made a mistake. Life is full of mistakes, some large, some small. It's how we learn and grow as people. You obviously did not repeat this mistake, which tells me you learned a valuable lesson from it. It takes far far more than sperm to be a father and a Dad. Someday your difficult child will mature enough to realize that profound fact and that husband is not his biodad will no longer be an issue of any sort. </p><p></p><p>I do my best to live my life with no regrets. That is not to say I haven't make some pretty major mistakes in my life........In fact, you'd probably faint if I told you some of them........heck, even my own kids will never know some of them. But each of them, no matter how awful or foolish or self destructive they were taught me something........and I did learn the lesson. So I don't regret it. Because if I regret it, then I also regret the lesson I learned along the way. My mistakes have made me a much more empathetic person than I would've been otherwise, much more well rounded, less eager to judge someone, more prone to attempt to understand. </p><p></p><p>I have nothing against my biodad. He is who he is, the good and the bad. But my Mom's 2nd husband, the man she married when I was 2 and divorced when I was 6-7, but who I still saw every single day of my life until he died when I was 22 yrs old........is my Dad. When someone asks me about my Dad, he's the one I think of first. I'm lucky if I think of biodad at all. It didn't matter if I was created via his sperm or not, it didn't even matter that he divorced my mother when I was 7........he took me as his child at the age of 2 and I remained his child until he left this earth. Know what I mean?? </p><p></p><p>Your husband <strong>is</strong> your difficult child's Dad, he just happened to have a biological sperm donor. </p><p></p><p>You have to learn to let such things go. We can't change the past, we can only do better in the present and future.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 533098, member: 84"] Aww SuZir, give yourself a break, hon. You made a mistake. Life is full of mistakes, some large, some small. It's how we learn and grow as people. You obviously did not repeat this mistake, which tells me you learned a valuable lesson from it. It takes far far more than sperm to be a father and a Dad. Someday your difficult child will mature enough to realize that profound fact and that husband is not his biodad will no longer be an issue of any sort. I do my best to live my life with no regrets. That is not to say I haven't make some pretty major mistakes in my life........In fact, you'd probably faint if I told you some of them........heck, even my own kids will never know some of them. But each of them, no matter how awful or foolish or self destructive they were taught me something........and I did learn the lesson. So I don't regret it. Because if I regret it, then I also regret the lesson I learned along the way. My mistakes have made me a much more empathetic person than I would've been otherwise, much more well rounded, less eager to judge someone, more prone to attempt to understand. I have nothing against my biodad. He is who he is, the good and the bad. But my Mom's 2nd husband, the man she married when I was 2 and divorced when I was 6-7, but who I still saw every single day of my life until he died when I was 22 yrs old........is my Dad. When someone asks me about my Dad, he's the one I think of first. I'm lucky if I think of biodad at all. It didn't matter if I was created via his sperm or not, it didn't even matter that he divorced my mother when I was 7........he took me as his child at the age of 2 and I remained his child until he left this earth. Know what I mean?? Your husband [B]is[/B] your difficult child's Dad, he just happened to have a biological sperm donor. You have to learn to let such things go. We can't change the past, we can only do better in the present and future. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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