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Should've, would've, could've...
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 533105" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hi SuZir, tender and warm hugs to you right off the bat. If a thread of confessions began, we would all be at this for the rest of time. Mistakes are part of life, so what everyone else has said, I ditto that. We're human, mistakes are part of being human. </p><p></p><p> If you hadn't connected with that guy, your unique difficult child would not be who he is, he wouldn't be at all. You gave him life. I use to tell my daughter, after her Dad and I split up, that he and I got together specifically to connect to have her, that she was the very unique combination of the two of us, without that sperm and that egg, she would not be. That's how I felt reading your post. Your difficult child is here because of that choice you made, and if you can forgive yourself, you can start anew right in this moment seeing it differently, seeing it as the gift of your creative family, each boy a different soul with a different destiny. I think it's time for you to let go of the blame of yourself and start all over seeing each child as the gift he is, and you as the Mom they were both supposed to have, with the Dad they both were supposed to have. My granddaughter wrote on her facebook page that true happiness is <em>loving what you already have.</em> I think that about sums it up, don't you? I hope you can forgive yourself and move on, let go. Perhaps in writing it all down today and sending your words and your guilt out into cyberspace, you can let it to and lighten your heart. I hope that for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 533105, member: 13542"] Hi SuZir, tender and warm hugs to you right off the bat. If a thread of confessions began, we would all be at this for the rest of time. Mistakes are part of life, so what everyone else has said, I ditto that. We're human, mistakes are part of being human. If you hadn't connected with that guy, your unique difficult child would not be who he is, he wouldn't be at all. You gave him life. I use to tell my daughter, after her Dad and I split up, that he and I got together specifically to connect to have her, that she was the very unique combination of the two of us, without that sperm and that egg, she would not be. That's how I felt reading your post. Your difficult child is here because of that choice you made, and if you can forgive yourself, you can start anew right in this moment seeing it differently, seeing it as the gift of your creative family, each boy a different soul with a different destiny. I think it's time for you to let go of the blame of yourself and start all over seeing each child as the gift he is, and you as the Mom they were both supposed to have, with the Dad they both were supposed to have. My granddaughter wrote on her facebook page that true happiness is [I]loving what you already have.[/I] I think that about sums it up, don't you? I hope you can forgive yourself and move on, let go. Perhaps in writing it all down today and sending your words and your guilt out into cyberspace, you can let it to and lighten your heart. I hope that for you. [/QUOTE]
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