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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 422684" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Oh dear Marg - I do not get this joke!! Does this mean I have Asperger's?! Please to explain... But then... this is one of my favourite jokes. A horse goes into a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?"</p><p>Thank you for the supportive responses. And for the hope/light at the end of the tunnel... I will definitely get that book (another one!) </p><p>On the ADHD/autism thing... to be honest, this is a kind of fine point that doesn't feel so important to me right now. As I've probably said before, I feel sad for J because he has an unusual degree of empathy and sensitivity - this does not seem to come across, often (sometimes it does - in a playground, he is always the one quick to help a toddler who has fallen down, for example) in his over-rumbunctious and noisy play... He seems to find it hard to know when "enough is enough", when people have tired of a game. I would like him to be able to understand these things because I feel he can. But I do also notice that he does not seem able to remember much of what I say, even though he is clearly bright (this was one of the characteristics listed in the ADHD article I read) - thousands and thousands of time I must have asked him to say "please" when he asks for something; maybe one time in 20 or 30 he remembers spontaneously. That is just an example! So even when he does get older and can be reasoned with much more, how much will he (and others like him) be able to "remember" of social codes and regulations... I realise that I have been setting a lot of store by J improving as he gets older - in some ways he has (people remark that he is more amenable and calm than when he was smaller) but the idea that the unreasonable tantrums and crisis at any change from an agreed programme are going to continue is.... well, demoralising, I suppose. I AM very impatient with the tantrums... sometimes my impatience kind of prevents him going into it. We spent all day together outside yesterday, during which he had two tantrums (one because he wanted to walk a different way than the one we needed to get "home" - we are away from home for the moment - and another because we lost his jacket and missed going to the cinema; I had more sympathy with the latter). I would like him not to have tantrums, to learn just to talk about his feelings... is THAT feasible??? I see the strength of his emotions, that he is overwhelmed by them.... I was like this as a child so I should have more patience for it than I often do... </p><p>Well, duty calls - J is awake and climbing onto my lap!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 422684, member: 11227"] Oh dear Marg - I do not get this joke!! Does this mean I have Asperger's?! Please to explain... But then... this is one of my favourite jokes. A horse goes into a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" Thank you for the supportive responses. And for the hope/light at the end of the tunnel... I will definitely get that book (another one!) On the ADHD/autism thing... to be honest, this is a kind of fine point that doesn't feel so important to me right now. As I've probably said before, I feel sad for J because he has an unusual degree of empathy and sensitivity - this does not seem to come across, often (sometimes it does - in a playground, he is always the one quick to help a toddler who has fallen down, for example) in his over-rumbunctious and noisy play... He seems to find it hard to know when "enough is enough", when people have tired of a game. I would like him to be able to understand these things because I feel he can. But I do also notice that he does not seem able to remember much of what I say, even though he is clearly bright (this was one of the characteristics listed in the ADHD article I read) - thousands and thousands of time I must have asked him to say "please" when he asks for something; maybe one time in 20 or 30 he remembers spontaneously. That is just an example! So even when he does get older and can be reasoned with much more, how much will he (and others like him) be able to "remember" of social codes and regulations... I realise that I have been setting a lot of store by J improving as he gets older - in some ways he has (people remark that he is more amenable and calm than when he was smaller) but the idea that the unreasonable tantrums and crisis at any change from an agreed programme are going to continue is.... well, demoralising, I suppose. I AM very impatient with the tantrums... sometimes my impatience kind of prevents him going into it. We spent all day together outside yesterday, during which he had two tantrums (one because he wanted to walk a different way than the one we needed to get "home" - we are away from home for the moment - and another because we lost his jacket and missed going to the cinema; I had more sympathy with the latter). I would like him not to have tantrums, to learn just to talk about his feelings... is THAT feasible??? I see the strength of his emotions, that he is overwhelmed by them.... I was like this as a child so I should have more patience for it than I often do... Well, duty calls - J is awake and climbing onto my lap! [/QUOTE]
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