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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 147690" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I would start by putting your morning routine into writing. difficult child needs to be involved in writing down her morning routine. Using poster board and various color markers adds some fun. First make a rough draft - ask her how much time she needs for each item (getting dressed, bathroom, eating, free time, ect.) After she sets her time line, figure out what time she needs to get up to accomplish that. If it is too early, ask if she can see ways to cut down on the time (maybe 5 minutes instead of 10 to put clothes on, etc.) Once this is set, give her the poster board and markers. She can make her own poster. I would then assign 5 points for each item she starts and finishes on time. Free time is at the end so if she is running late, less free time. Make sure she includes the time she needs to be at the door with everything in hand to leave.</p><p> </p><p>Once difficult child has her schedule set, your other daughter can make a poster of her own schedule - make sure bathroom times are different.</p><p> </p><p>Add one line stating that each girl will be kind and helpful to the other. Maybe taking turns setting up breakfast (whoever is in the bathroom, the other either sets out cereal or cleans up the table and these can switch weekly). Asking them to say one nice thing to each other during the morning ("that is a pretty shirt. Good luck on tests today. ect.) Extra points given for helpful/kindness area.</p><p> </p><p>If this works well, add another set of routines for evening/bed time.</p><p> </p><p>This needs to be daily to work. It takes time. However, the girls are old enough to review the list each evening to see how well they have done. With a little extra work, you can make copies of the schedule that you can check off each area points were earned. Actually recognition from you each morning as they leave for school will also go a long way, "This morning you did a great job. Do you notice that this morning was much more fun without arguing, crying, meaness? Thank you!" difficult child and sister also are looking for your attention in the morning. Acknowledge their positive actions before they have time to get negative attention. So, check in with them every 15 - 20 minutes to see where they are at on their schedule, help as needed and praise the times schedules are being kept. This check in time can be fun, "Mom, I am done with step 2, starting step 3, over and out." "Mom, mission accomplished with step 4, preparting for step 5."</p><p> </p><p>Remember these things sometimes don't last long, however, every day it does work is a step forward and gets our difficult child's thinking about how they want their life to be.</p><p> </p><p>The above may also help if you or dad are not home and someone else is taking care of the girls. They can feel confidence in showing the caregiver their schedule.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 147690, member: 5096"] I would start by putting your morning routine into writing. difficult child needs to be involved in writing down her morning routine. Using poster board and various color markers adds some fun. First make a rough draft - ask her how much time she needs for each item (getting dressed, bathroom, eating, free time, ect.) After she sets her time line, figure out what time she needs to get up to accomplish that. If it is too early, ask if she can see ways to cut down on the time (maybe 5 minutes instead of 10 to put clothes on, etc.) Once this is set, give her the poster board and markers. She can make her own poster. I would then assign 5 points for each item she starts and finishes on time. Free time is at the end so if she is running late, less free time. Make sure she includes the time she needs to be at the door with everything in hand to leave. Once difficult child has her schedule set, your other daughter can make a poster of her own schedule - make sure bathroom times are different. Add one line stating that each girl will be kind and helpful to the other. Maybe taking turns setting up breakfast (whoever is in the bathroom, the other either sets out cereal or cleans up the table and these can switch weekly). Asking them to say one nice thing to each other during the morning ("that is a pretty shirt. Good luck on tests today. ect.) Extra points given for helpful/kindness area. If this works well, add another set of routines for evening/bed time. This needs to be daily to work. It takes time. However, the girls are old enough to review the list each evening to see how well they have done. With a little extra work, you can make copies of the schedule that you can check off each area points were earned. Actually recognition from you each morning as they leave for school will also go a long way, "This morning you did a great job. Do you notice that this morning was much more fun without arguing, crying, meaness? Thank you!" difficult child and sister also are looking for your attention in the morning. Acknowledge their positive actions before they have time to get negative attention. So, check in with them every 15 - 20 minutes to see where they are at on their schedule, help as needed and praise the times schedules are being kept. This check in time can be fun, "Mom, I am done with step 2, starting step 3, over and out." "Mom, mission accomplished with step 4, preparting for step 5." Remember these things sometimes don't last long, however, every day it does work is a step forward and gets our difficult child's thinking about how they want their life to be. The above may also help if you or dad are not home and someone else is taking care of the girls. They can feel confidence in showing the caregiver their schedule. [/QUOTE]
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