Sibling Rivalry or GFGness?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by dstc_99, May 15, 2014.

  1. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Is this normal sibling rivalry? Or are easy child and difficult child morphing into difficult child and difficult child?

    easy child and difficult child are constantly in competition. If I buy something for one the other automatically wants a return gesture. Even if the amount I spend is the same the other always feels short changed. It is so annoying! I just ignore them. They can bicker away for all I care. I refuse to be consumed with keeping things 100% equal. Especially when regardless of equality they will never be happy.

    easy child refuses to leave difficult child’s stuff alone. This is an issue I have with easy child as well. She sneaks in the rooms and borrows a piece of clothing, shoes, or some make up. Something I have repeatedly told her I don’t mind her doing. The problem is I have also repeatedly told her to return them when she is done with them and to take good care of them. She never puts them back! I can’t tell you how many mornings I have stood in the bathroom yelling for easy child to bring back my mascara or my makeup brush. It drives me batshiz crazy. Plus easy child is just about the biggest mess maker on the planet. Anything you allow her to use you have to be ready to expect it to get lost, broken, or messed up.

    difficult child apparently feels the same way about everything besides her clothes and shoes. difficult child would gladly share her make with easy child if she wouldn’t take it and not put it back. easy child also lets her friends use it. I am actually on difficult child’s side about the clothes and shoes thing since easy child is a much larger size. easy child stretches the shoes, shirts, and pants out and that irritates the hello out of difficult child. easy child snuck in yesterday and stole a pair of difficult child’s sweats for a sweatpants day at school. Granted they are sleep pants so they are big on difficult child but it’s just the point that easy child didn’t ask and knew it would cause an issue.

    This brought about my attempt to keep difficult child from killing easy child for taking the pants. I took easy child to Target to get a pair of sweats for herself after school so she wouldn’t need to borrow difficult child’s again. I wound up buying her two clearance shirts, a pair of shorts, and a pair of clearance sweats. easy child changed in the bathroom and then we met difficult child and husband for dinner. easy child immediately mentions buying the shorts and difficult child bristles. Apparently difficult child sold almost all of her clothes to a resale shop in order to pay bills. NOT MY PROBLEM! She never asked for help and she made the decisions on her own. I refuse to be held responsible for them. I can’t just simply drop by Target and pick up a pair of shorts with a kid because the other gets mad about it.

    Next time easy child can do the time for her crime! LOL I won’t be bothering to protect her from difficult child. I had Yoga pants she could have worn. They are too big on me but I keep them for lounging. I will not get pulled into their drama.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Great set up for you to say, "You know, girls, if you work you can buy your own things."

    I don't think it's that abnormal, but it's petty and not very gracious toward you. If they argue over what you buy them, I would stop. They are old enough to buy their own things. If you don't want to do that, you can always stick strictly to what you said you would buy and not vary from it. When 36 was at home, he was always whining about how Scott got more than him when I bought them stuff. I finally started totally ignoring him and just going into my room when he started up because he could hound me for hours. And, as I said before, at age sixteen both boys got part time after school jobs. The bank stopped when they turned sixteen. Then 36 complained that Scott made more money than him so he could buy more stuff. Honestly, it was enough to make a mother scream.

    As for the "borrowing" make up, my daughter Jumper does that and it drives me nuts. And she is a very definite easy child> Still, if I buy any makeup, there is no doubt it will end up on her dressing table. I have a lock box and I keep my makeup in She has no idea where it is, but I do. Makes it easily within reach when I need it. No, I shouldn't have to do it, but she's a good kid and I'm not going to go to battle over this one thing. It's easier to avert the problem. Maybe both of your girls can get their own lock boxes for their makeup and lock their bedroom doors for the clothes. Nobody likes to do it in their own house, but ya do what ya halfta do.
  3. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    It's normal, but I wouldn't condone easy child borrowing anything of difficult child's, especially if she is a larger size than her. My two youngest don't fight over clothing, because they're boys, but they fight over video time, video games, who got more mac and cheese on the plate, who sits shotgun in the car (now that the older one is driving, this is less of an issue). They are both raging, flaming, out and out easy child's and normal teenage boys. Neither is the difficult child who brought me to this site.

    I try telling that I am fair and that doesn't necessarily mean equal. It's hard, though, when you want to rip their heads off and bowl them down the street.
  4. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys! I think my PTSD kicked in for a bit. LOL

    Sometimes it is so hard to differntiate difficult child behavior and easy child behavior. I get so used to expecting GFGness that everything becomes something major.

    easy child has been told no more on the clothing and the makeup. She has to ask difficult child's permission first.

    MWM I would have to lock up half the house to keep easy child out of stuff LOL! I have considered it when I am trying to get ready and can't find things. Nothing is worse than getting in the shower to bathe and not having shampoo or conditioner. She has some minor theft issues :p