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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 390748"><p>I was having a discussion with my 15 year old easy child daughter last night. She is writing a paper for English on a book and non traditional families. She is not that into the topic really. So we were talking about families and how ours is maybe not your traditional family where everyone gets along and has a perfect life. She was commenting on no we had her brother and all his issues. True. I was trying to say there are no perfect families and some of your friends families may have issues that you know nothing about... say a parent who drinks too much etc. She brought up that that is the problem in our family everyone knows about her brother. It is true we live in a small town, he has a reputation, people know he has been in trouble, the kids at school all know he has a drug problem. I have been pretty open about our struggles but that doesn't matter because he has this reputation among the kids at school. I think it is getting slightly better because his class graduated this past year, but he was expelled from school and people knew that. She has said she is glad she can improve the reputation of our family. </p><p></p><p>I am glad she can talk about her feelings about it. He is out of the house now and in rehab which is a good thing. People may know that too, don't know. I just feel for her and there is nothing I can do about it I don't think.</p><p></p><p>How do the rest of you with difficult child kids as well as easy child kids help your easy child kids deal with the difficulties in the family and reputation due to your difficult child's behavior?</p><p></p><p>I know in the long run that troubles like these can make you stronger and clearer about things. For example she has a much better sense of what drug use can do to you than many of her friends. She is clear about her stand because of this. Yet I still hurt for her that she has to deal with having an older brother with a reputation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 390748"] I was having a discussion with my 15 year old easy child daughter last night. She is writing a paper for English on a book and non traditional families. She is not that into the topic really. So we were talking about families and how ours is maybe not your traditional family where everyone gets along and has a perfect life. She was commenting on no we had her brother and all his issues. True. I was trying to say there are no perfect families and some of your friends families may have issues that you know nothing about... say a parent who drinks too much etc. She brought up that that is the problem in our family everyone knows about her brother. It is true we live in a small town, he has a reputation, people know he has been in trouble, the kids at school all know he has a drug problem. I have been pretty open about our struggles but that doesn't matter because he has this reputation among the kids at school. I think it is getting slightly better because his class graduated this past year, but he was expelled from school and people knew that. She has said she is glad she can improve the reputation of our family. I am glad she can talk about her feelings about it. He is out of the house now and in rehab which is a good thing. People may know that too, don't know. I just feel for her and there is nothing I can do about it I don't think. How do the rest of you with difficult child kids as well as easy child kids help your easy child kids deal with the difficulties in the family and reputation due to your difficult child's behavior? I know in the long run that troubles like these can make you stronger and clearer about things. For example she has a much better sense of what drug use can do to you than many of her friends. She is clear about her stand because of this. Yet I still hurt for her that she has to deal with having an older brother with a reputation. [/QUOTE]
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