It has been 16 years out of difficult child's almost 18 years since I separated from her father, 12 years since the divorce was final. Married to current H almost 11 years. Today we met with yet another new counselor and once the counselor learned that she comes from a divorced home (nevermind the fact that my H has been her stepdad for the past 11-12 years - her MOST formative), the counselor hones in on that and asks difficult child pointed questions as to whether or not difficult child feels that maybe the reason for her lack of self esteem and bad feelings about herself is related to this divorce, etc. Of course, difficult child, well versed in psychiatrist speak, jumps at this GOLDEN opportunity and says yes, the waterworks begin and the counselor eggs her on to explain why she is so upset and what does difficult child say?? "I wish they never got divorced and I miss them together and I hate my stepdad and I just wish it wasn't the way it is!!" OH MY GOD. She misses us together?? She was 18 months old when we separated - how could she POSSIBLY remember this?? Thankfully, the counselor asked me to explain to difficult child what exactly led to the divorce after first explaining to difficult child that most people get married not expecting a divorce. Well, I should just give my dds' my diaries from back then, so they can just read the heck I lived through. But anyway, I told the entire story - unedited as done in the past for the sake of sparing difficult child and easy child as to what a schmucky person their drug addicted father was back then...the counselor encouraged me to tell the whole story, unedited so I did...and I felt difficult child next to me wanting to defend her father, I felt awful, so I actually did hold some things back - but I think she got the picture and it did help because we talked more all the way back from our appointment. But still, I cannot believe that after 16 years all her hurt and pain over this is still so close to the surface. However, I am wondering how this is related to her binge drinking and then having suicidal thoughts - maybe this is why I'm not a counselor and why we pay someone to analyze us. Whatever. I am just so annoyed and angry and hurt and upset about this visit. Ugh - what a way to begin, right? Maybe it is good to get all this crud out in the open and start from scratch, I don't know. I know that the counselor is in a facility where there is a psychiatrist on staff, so difficult child's medications will be evaluated as well and they will also do a full evaluation to see if she can get an official diagnosis of bipolar, so those are good things. Just when I was thinking that it was too far to drive, I thought of so many people here who travel hours for a decent psychiatrist! Anyway, this is more of a vent...but man, how AARRRGGHH. And then on the way home difficult child says, "I don't know why easy child can get over everything, but I just haven't been able to"...aaah, more mystery. Maybe I will ask easy child how she does it. And the counselor asked that we bring H, exh, and easy child in also! Bwaaahaaaahaaaa, this is just getting too funny. easy child is in VA and hates counselors. H will go and exh? Well, please. I just say, "Please...." what a joke.