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Sick over her attitude/values
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 100864" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I don't have a problem not loaning her any money. It was different when she wasn't working and actively looking after we moved here but that's not the case now. She has a job. I was just stunned that she would ask me for money when she knew she owed me and could not understand how truly awful I felt that was.</p><p></p><p>She's seen me struggle to pay a bill. If I had to borrow from a friend for any reason, she knew that the friend would be paid back before I would buy me cigarettes. The debt repayment always came first. As a matter of fact, she once thought she had the perfect weapon against me -- my best friend had loaned me money when I was unemployed and truly struggling; my daughter got upset about something and made a comment about what a deadbeat I was that I wouldn't even pay my best friend back; she was rather stunned when I explained I had sold my engagement ring and paid my friend back weeks ago. So, she does know how important repayment of a debt is to my values. It goes with going back on your word -- IT JUST ISN'T DONE!!!!</p><p></p><p>The thought that she can go so against such a basic principle and do it without any hesitation or even understanding how awful it is is just beyond me. It really does make me sick to my stomach.</p><p></p><p>I know that considering the things she could be doing wrong, this is small but to me it is her moral fibre and, right now, it is sadly lacking. She wasn't raised with the "Mr. Rogers' philosophy." She was taught that while life wasn't always fair, it could be fun and worthwhile. She earned her grades, the extras. I did not try to solve every problem she had. I tried to help her find her own solutions. But if her solution is to take the easy way out, totally deny responsibility and think she is entitled to things she hasn't earned, I've seriously failed as a parent and I don't know how to fix it at this point. For me, this is heartbreaking!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 100864, member: 3626"] I don't have a problem not loaning her any money. It was different when she wasn't working and actively looking after we moved here but that's not the case now. She has a job. I was just stunned that she would ask me for money when she knew she owed me and could not understand how truly awful I felt that was. She's seen me struggle to pay a bill. If I had to borrow from a friend for any reason, she knew that the friend would be paid back before I would buy me cigarettes. The debt repayment always came first. As a matter of fact, she once thought she had the perfect weapon against me -- my best friend had loaned me money when I was unemployed and truly struggling; my daughter got upset about something and made a comment about what a deadbeat I was that I wouldn't even pay my best friend back; she was rather stunned when I explained I had sold my engagement ring and paid my friend back weeks ago. So, she does know how important repayment of a debt is to my values. It goes with going back on your word -- IT JUST ISN'T DONE!!!! The thought that she can go so against such a basic principle and do it without any hesitation or even understanding how awful it is is just beyond me. It really does make me sick to my stomach. I know that considering the things she could be doing wrong, this is small but to me it is her moral fibre and, right now, it is sadly lacking. She wasn't raised with the "Mr. Rogers' philosophy." She was taught that while life wasn't always fair, it could be fun and worthwhile. She earned her grades, the extras. I did not try to solve every problem she had. I tried to help her find her own solutions. But if her solution is to take the easy way out, totally deny responsibility and think she is entitled to things she hasn't earned, I've seriously failed as a parent and I don't know how to fix it at this point. For me, this is heartbreaking! [/QUOTE]
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Sick over her attitude/values
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