Sigh...teenagers

[flutterbee]

easy child is a good kid. He really is.

But, he's known for some time that he needs to get a job if he wants to get a car. He has to pay for his insurance. I can't afford it. We've talked about this for months.

I will soon have the money to get him a car. He's been eagerly awaiting the day. I told him again tonight that I cannot get him a car until he gets the insurance. He asks, again, where is he going to get a job.

Oh, I don't know. We live in a college town. We have 3 Wendy's, 3 McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, LJS, KFC, Dairy Queen, 3 Kroger's, a Buehlers, Walmart, Radio Shack, Gamestop. And those are just off the top of my head. I also suggested - again - that he go to the guidance office at school and see if they have any job postings. I know when I was at school some businesses would let the high school know when they needed someone.

So far, he's applied at one of the Kroger's. About 4 times. Online. That's it. Get the feeling that's where most of his friends work? Well, you're right.

Then he gets annoyed with me and stops looking at cars with me. Tells me that I keep saying this and it's annoying him.

Well, duh. All I hear about every single day is that he wants a car and he wants his license and he needs to start driver's ed so he can be done by the day he is eligible to get his license. That's all well and good, but he's not even getting his license until he has a job. As it stands, with only his permit I don't have to add him to my insurance. Once he has his license, I do.

So, I'm just frustrated. He's upset with his dad for being such a schmuck over the whole car thing and I don't blame him. But, I'm frustrated with him for not getting out there and doing the one thing he needs to do in order to get his license and his car, but still complains everyday that he doesn't have his license or a car. ARGH!

He knows what he needs to do. I'm not saying anything else about it. When March 4 rolls around (the day he's eligible for his license) and he can't get it because he doesn't have a job...well, he can deal with it then. I mean, I'm paying for driver's ed (about $300) and buying the car.

Just needed to vent. I'm so tired of hearing how he wants his license and how he hates being dependent on other people. hehehehe Love that teenage logic.

 

[Abbey]

Ah...Heather, join the crowd. My easy child 18 year old son recently started driving our car. It has been...well, lets say less than pleasant. He can't put gas in it and takes it at times that is less than convient for us. He earns his insurance by working for our family business...which he hates. Not a problem...get a job that could pay for it.

He is REALLY po'd at us today because the car broke down (first time in 7 years) so he had to take the school bus to school and back home. So Sad. He'll be taking the bus for the next week or so. That ought to make him happy!! What? Mom and Dad can't fix things overnight? Nope.

Abbey

 

[Hound dog]

Heather

been there done that with easy child. She had the job, but had gotten it into her head that husband and I should foot the bill for driving lessons and insurance. We couldn't afford either. She was stubborn until she turned 18. lol Then suddenly realized that she'd better learn to drive.

I have to laugh cuz I"ve been going thru something similar with Nichole. Although her problem is that driving also scares her. But she finally has grabbed the bull by the horns and is taking lessons with several people. She HAS to learn to drive and have her license by April 2nd.

Since there was nothing I could do about it, I just waited them out. They eventually got the idea.

Hugs

 

[Wiped Out]

All I can say is when I saw the title of the post is I feel your pain and that was without reading it! Mine isn't that old yet but certainly has that sense of entitlement!

 

[hearts and roses]

Same as wiped out, I can feel your pain.

It's so funny how they want so desperately to be independent from us, yet they can't seem to see their way there. easy child has always been a bit of a p.i.t.a about 'wanting' things or 'needing' things. She's a clothes horse and a shoe monger. She has a 1999 VW Passat Wagon in great shape and still complains that she wants a better car. I have really worked hard this past year in particular to tune her out.

difficult child, on the other hand, was sitting at the kitchen table this morning, perusing the Cars for Sale classifieds. Ahem, she has no job, no interviews lined up and $2.43 in her checking account. I suggested she turn the page to the Help Wanted section and she cried, "YOU said you'd help me get a car!" I shook my head yes and replied, "Yes, and I will, but not until you save at least $3000 with the money from the job you have yet to secure, dearie." She got up and announced that she was going back to bed.

So, yeah, I feel your pain.

 

[fedup]

I have two that are past the teens now, and neither has a license. I had one not get a license until age 25. Okay, difficult child got his license suspended. Too bad, so sad. Now, he is depending on us and his friends for transport. Sometimes, he walks! He even has gotten a pertinent bus schedule (and our bus system isn't the greatest). Our 22yo has a permit, but no one to teach her to drive. She also has no money for insurance, car, gas, etcetera. She has a full time job, and housing is provided. She's complaining about not having money for groceries. I suggested she watch her spending and she didn't. Too bad, so sad. She wants me to take a loan out to pay her debts- are you kidding? No one will loan her money. She doesn't have transportation to get to a place she could get help. Well, she can walk if she gets desperate. But, it's so cold out. Such is life.

Gee, I think I have finally learned to detach!

 

[meowbunny]

Another one who feels your pain. Mine "needs" a car for when she moves out. She can't find a way to save enough for a car and first and last month's rent and security deposit between now and the end of August. She's right, she can't. She had a car, hated it and abandoned it rather than even trying to sell it. She could have found a job earlier but was determined to get back into retail even though she's burned so many bridges she's very limited as to who will even consider hiring her. Had she started working as soon as we moved here, she could have saved enough money. Of course, the fact that she has to eat at work every day, has to buy this, that and the other (which are NOT necessities) makes no difference. I just look her at her like she's an alien and don't say a word.

Yup, I definitely feel your pain!

 

[KTMom91]

Oh, boy...we've got the same thing going on here. I did pay for driver's training classes, because I wanted to be sure she had some idea of what she's doing, but we'll be in the permit stage for quite awhile. husband and I agreed that if she remains active in band, we'll cover the insurance etc because of the amount of time band takes, but otherwise she needs to find a job. Jury's still out on what's going to happen.

I feel your pain as well!

 

[slsh]

A moment of thankfulness that thank you has absolutely no interest in driving. He broached it briefly last summer, and I told him he should head on down to the nearest licensing branch and pick up a booklet. Oh. My. Gosh. Do something for himself? Not a chance, LOL.

We're still working on getting him comfortable on the bus routes to the train station, but he does take the train home confidently.

Weeburt on the other hand has already started saving for his car, and he just turned 13. Amazing how sibs can be so different!

 

[Abbey]

Ok...that broke down car turned into a brand new car yesterday!!! I haven't had one in a long time and the repair bill was ridiculous...electrical problems.

It's a powder blue 2008 Hyundai Santa Fe. Last one was a Santa Fe as well and I loved it. I wanted the VeraCruz, but too pricey.

So, easy child is REALLY not happy now because he ain't driving MY car!!

Abbey

 

[Star*]

My Mom showed my son how far I walked to work - at 2 jobs before I graduated high school at 16 and then 3 jobs after I graduated, moved out and got my own apartment.

I didn't get a car until I was almost 18 - and I paid for 1 years insurance, had $250 in the bank for repairs, and 1/2 the pmt. FOR the car. I paid for my drivers ed class too.

When my son said - Can youtell me how far this is Gma? (meaning my walking from my apt. to my 1st job) She hit the trip button and said "Five miles....and sometimes it snows in Ohio and is below freezing - but your Mom had to walk." He sat back and said nothing - I'm SURE he thought I was BSing him about how I had it when I was young. and then i said "And guess what? I didn't die!" (Lucky for him or he wouldn't be here)

My difficult child has mentioned getting a car but after what I went through? He gets no free rides. I think you're doing great Wynter - Put the money up and give him a dead line as to WHEN that money will be spent for other things BESIDES his car - because it sounds like he's trying to out wait you for a free ride - Put your foot down = maybe it will inspire him to actually get UP OFF HIS butt and go LOOK for a job.

Hugs
Star