Sigh......the treatment facility.....

A

AmericanGirl

Guest
difficult child's intensive outpatient program is down to him and a 14 yo. She failed a drug test yet claimed many days sobriety at the family meeting. Counselor ignored it.

When difficult child entered the program, i asked he be evaluated for coexisting conditions. doctor spent 12 minutes with him. Told them previous counselor he just left after four years was starting to suspect bipolar.
Most of the three hours was simple bs time. My difficult child attacked me for 20 min. I looked at counselor as if to say, " this is your sandbox, handle it.". She did little. I asked permission to leave after i had enough. Group sessions aren't to berate your mother repeatedly with no goal in sight.

Then last night, I am told that despite their assertions I would have zero copays, that my insurance would pay nothing and I owed them $5,000. Even made a big deal of saying they wouldn't charge me $25 for the two family meetings I attended. Hello? Your brochure says these are FREE.

I have zero trust. How can he get better here? Talked with difficult child who was really great. Took him to a Celebrate Recovery meeting tonight. He has been going once a week when he isn't at this center. Instead of coming home angry, he was pleasant.

As the local folks don't get it, I faxed the company president. Regional mgr. called almost immediately. Told him everything. He was nice. Am hopeful he will be reasonable about the fees as I don't want difficult child there with a counselor who won't call them on their stuff.

Called a regional teaching hospital to inquire about a full psy workup. She took tons of info. Will call me tomorrow with appointment. info.

Turns out an old friend is helping with Al-anon. He was really helpful. Put me in touch with his sponsor. Will attend their meeting Tuesday.

difficult child agreed to allow me to dose Wellbutrin daily ....that way he won't forget....after two days on it, he tells me he feels better. Literally praying on my knees it will help him think more clearly. I know it won't be a panacea but I celebrate every positive step.

Have been reading a lot of the forums. A ton of great insight here....
 

exhausted

Active Member
I'm sorry about the place. Never in a million years should your kid be aloud to come at you unchecked for 20 min. His recovery means he takes responsibility and makes ammends. That doesn't mean that issues don't get worked out, but his drug use was his choice and what it did to him and you is his problem. This is the first step! How is it that they told you the insurance would pay and then suddenly it would be 5,000 out of pocket? Didn't they preauthorize? There are very few companies that pay for treatment anymore. We have even had to fight after preauthorization for psychiatric hospitol stays. They should have known this and been up front. I wouldn't pay a dime for a 10 min. assessment and 20 min. of being splayed by your son!

I'm glad you douns other resources. Will you continue at this place?
 
A

AmericanGirl

Guest
Not going back. Location mgr. called today. Was very nice. Her boss had called her twice about the complaint letter I faxed. Good.

She admitted she knew my insurance, a very common type, would pay $0. Not what her business mgr. told me.

She thinks difficult child needs treatment. I agree. Admitted they normally gave 20 days and discharged. Huh?!? I was unaware that substance abuse treatment followed such a perfectly linear path. difficult child needs something other than that.

Anyhow, I owe $0 after we talked which is reasonable given what I was told.

Took difficult child to another Celebrate Recovery meeting tonight. 25 miles away. But he thanked me before and after, saying it was helpful. Only he can tell me what works. My job is to tell him what is available and provide transportation.

Third day back on Wellbutrin. Much easier to communicate with. Praying it continues.
 

Zardo

Member
Sounds like you're doing a very good job. I love the way you say that it's his job to get better and your job to inform him of options and provide transportation. That is the exact attitude that will help him. If he waivers, don't be afraid to move to another level of "if you're going to live here, you cannot use" and maybe search for an out-of-home treatment that can help get him clean and reach a level of acceptance with recovery. My son just finished and Intensive Outpatient Program. It was a 4-6 week program, coverred by insurance. The kids in it ranged in severety of use and recovery, from my son who is making his way down the journey of recovery with some "slips" to some kids that have experienced serious addiction and jail time. It was very helpful for my son and the kids in the program were all very motivated in recovery. It sounds like your son is beginnning to know that he needs some kind of help. IF he knows this, an outpatient IOP can be very helpful. Ours was 3 days per week for 3 hours per day with random testing every week. You can call your insurance and ask them what treatment centers near you they cover and then call for an in-take. If he is approved, it should be coverred. Another approach could be a "30 meetings in 30 days" program. To do this, he would have to be committed because you find your own AA or NA meetings and go every day for 30 days. A goal in this approach is to get a sponsor as well. IF he is REALLY committed, that can work. Whatever you decide, if he WANTS to do it, it has a chance of working. Surprisingly, our current clinician said that for IOP and in-patient, kids that are forced to go by court, school or family have equal levels of success as those who come willingly. If he is too unreliable to committ to the "30 meetings in 30 days thing" a setting like IOP would be more structurred and they would require he come and they will test him and keep him in the program until he is ready to "step down". They will also reccomend a higher level of care if he does not test clean regulalry or work the program. Whatever you decide, I reccomend you read "Changing for Good" which outines the stages of change. It sounds like you're doing a great job of supporting the level he is at right now, this book just helps guide you through the process of supporting his level. Good luck.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
I am sorry they lied about the cost up front. If the manager knew then you can be positive the business person knew - the business person has a LOT more info about what insurance will pay than the location mgr would. I'm glad they waived the fees for you.

As for the therapist who let difficult child attack you for 20 min, clearly this person is useless. I would question if anyoen there can help him if they can't even enforce basic rules in a therapy session.

Have you called your ins co to see what treatment they will cover? That might be a way to find more effective treatment for your son. Most ins co's have a behavioral health number to call and that will help you find programs and doctors that they will cover.

I hope that he is able to beat his addiction.
 

buddy

New Member
Wow, you must be exhausted, physically and mentally. That kind of calling, advocating, problems solving and searching for alternatives gives me night sweats! What a relief you got the fee back to the originally planned 0$. They have to be upfront before he starts treatment and it stinks that you even had to go through that.

Glad he is being compliant with the medication plan. He is so lucky to have you supporting him. Keep us informed. I agree, allowing the kind of complaining about you and everything being your fault seems so inappropriate for any kind of therapy session. You did the right thing leaving.
 
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