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General Parenting
Sigh. What a night. Just when I think he's matured ...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 464685" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Sending lots of hugs to you. I am sorry your dad is so sick and that you may have to handle difficult decisions. I hope you make sure to take time for just you, maybe an extra day before you go home that you spend in a hotel or at least go to a spa or do something just for Y.O.U. difficult child stress on top of a very ill parent really is too much and can cause all sorts of major stress related problems for you.</p><p></p><p>Yes, from the sound of it a lot of what difficult child did was typical teen. However, I have a strong feeling that your difficult child took at least some of the typical teen behaviors to a level that makes them NOT typical teen. We had a lot of problems getting help with/for Wiz because the things he did often sounded like things easy child children do normally but he took them to such an extreme that it went way way beyond typical teen. On paper or even from a parent's verbal description it would be easy to call things typical teen when they went way beyond. in my opinion this is why so many tdocs and psychiatrists and school personnel think that parents just exaggerate or over-react and the kids don't really have problems. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I can see using the computer as the carrot for him. Ditto tv, games, etc... I could also see that if he became violent with you over putting a limit on screens/screen time then maybe it should be removed totally for a couple of weeks until he gets over the withdrawal and then learns to cope with-o them. But it is HARD and at his age he is so big and strong I am not sure it is wise. Esp as your husband is gone so much and does not really seem supportive of the limits.</p><p></p><p>I don't know much about your router (or mine for that matter). I do know that my dad set theirs up so that it was only available at certain times, and that it was very hard to hack around. I know Wiz tried and he is a fairly gifted hacker when motivated. It would be interesting to see what happened if the router was "off" at night, during school hours, and all except for a limited time that he had to work for. This could be limited only on the computer he uses, other computers could have it set very differently. Surely either Verizon or the company that made the router could help with this? It might help because it was a limit set by the router/Verizon, not you. Gives him something else to be angry at and a regular time to know it will work. This worked well for my parents and Wiz, even though he had to get his homework and chores done before he could get onto the computer.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion there is nothing wrong with only doing homework to get the computer time. I only did it because if I didn't I had to quite my job or have my camera taken away. Lots of my friends were like that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 464685, member: 1233"] Sending lots of hugs to you. I am sorry your dad is so sick and that you may have to handle difficult decisions. I hope you make sure to take time for just you, maybe an extra day before you go home that you spend in a hotel or at least go to a spa or do something just for Y.O.U. difficult child stress on top of a very ill parent really is too much and can cause all sorts of major stress related problems for you. Yes, from the sound of it a lot of what difficult child did was typical teen. However, I have a strong feeling that your difficult child took at least some of the typical teen behaviors to a level that makes them NOT typical teen. We had a lot of problems getting help with/for Wiz because the things he did often sounded like things easy child children do normally but he took them to such an extreme that it went way way beyond typical teen. On paper or even from a parent's verbal description it would be easy to call things typical teen when they went way beyond. in my opinion this is why so many tdocs and psychiatrists and school personnel think that parents just exaggerate or over-react and the kids don't really have problems. I can see using the computer as the carrot for him. Ditto tv, games, etc... I could also see that if he became violent with you over putting a limit on screens/screen time then maybe it should be removed totally for a couple of weeks until he gets over the withdrawal and then learns to cope with-o them. But it is HARD and at his age he is so big and strong I am not sure it is wise. Esp as your husband is gone so much and does not really seem supportive of the limits. I don't know much about your router (or mine for that matter). I do know that my dad set theirs up so that it was only available at certain times, and that it was very hard to hack around. I know Wiz tried and he is a fairly gifted hacker when motivated. It would be interesting to see what happened if the router was "off" at night, during school hours, and all except for a limited time that he had to work for. This could be limited only on the computer he uses, other computers could have it set very differently. Surely either Verizon or the company that made the router could help with this? It might help because it was a limit set by the router/Verizon, not you. Gives him something else to be angry at and a regular time to know it will work. This worked well for my parents and Wiz, even though he had to get his homework and chores done before he could get onto the computer. in my opinion there is nothing wrong with only doing homework to get the computer time. I only did it because if I didn't I had to quite my job or have my camera taken away. Lots of my friends were like that. [/QUOTE]
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Sigh. What a night. Just when I think he's matured ...
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