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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 657843" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Change is the hardest thing. It's scary. You took your chances, and created a different kind of life for yourself because you did.</p><p></p><p>I agree. It is surreal. Once we can see with some measure of clarity regarding ourselves, we cannot unsee what is masquerading as clarity, or as love, or as any smallest worthwhile thing, in our families. We just cannot continue to pretend, along with them, that because everyone is laughing so hard, everything must be okay, here.</p><p></p><p>It is lonely for us either way. Lonely to be there where nothing is real and everything is, as you described it, surreal. That is a very good descriptor.</p><p></p><p>Surreal.</p><p></p><p>Almost more real than real could ever be.</p><p></p><p>A clinker, instead of a gold coin.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Well, not to point another finger at myself here? But my children seem to have that same capacity to switch between addictive substances with impunity.</p><p></p><p>Who could say whether it is genetics or intense emotional pain at the heart of it? Probably, like everything in life, a mixture of two equally true things. And about twelve other true things no one is even minimally aware of.</p><p></p><p>So, we do the best we know. And, as Maya teaches, when we know better, we do better.</p><p></p><p>So, that's a pretty good thing to know, then.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>When I have seen my FOO after a long time without seeing them, or without seeing them together? It is disconcerting. Disorienting would be a better word. </p><p></p><p>Surreal, like you said, Going.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 657843, member: 17461"] Change is the hardest thing. It's scary. You took your chances, and created a different kind of life for yourself because you did. I agree. It is surreal. Once we can see with some measure of clarity regarding ourselves, we cannot unsee what is masquerading as clarity, or as love, or as any smallest worthwhile thing, in our families. We just cannot continue to pretend, along with them, that because everyone is laughing so hard, everything must be okay, here. It is lonely for us either way. Lonely to be there where nothing is real and everything is, as you described it, surreal. That is a very good descriptor. Surreal. Almost more real than real could ever be. A clinker, instead of a gold coin. Well, not to point another finger at myself here? But my children seem to have that same capacity to switch between addictive substances with impunity. Who could say whether it is genetics or intense emotional pain at the heart of it? Probably, like everything in life, a mixture of two equally true things. And about twelve other true things no one is even minimally aware of. So, we do the best we know. And, as Maya teaches, when we know better, we do better. So, that's a pretty good thing to know, then. When I have seen my FOO after a long time without seeing them, or without seeing them together? It is disconcerting. Disorienting would be a better word. Surreal, like you said, Going. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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