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Since everyone else is venting...Im want to vent too
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 333342" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Janet, have Tony get some locks for you. Lock the cabinets. Put a chain around the fridge. If Billy doesn't eat he won't need access. If he does, well, then he can do dishes to get access to the food. Do to Get, remember?</p><p></p><p>It is very unrealistic for Billy to be able to live somewhere, get internet and electric for all his stuff, free room and board and only pay $100. You are not teaching him to be an adult, you are keeping him a child with this system.</p><p></p><p>Is he capable of working more than twenty hours? If so, charge him like he is not working part time. Until he has real obligations, faces having his electric turned off and/or being hungry/evicted, he will NOT pony up the money.</p><p></p><p>I would turn the breaker to his room OFF and leave him with-o power/internet. Until he pays this month AND a hefty penalty. It is a real world consequence for not paying the electric.</p><p></p><p>You may want to sign Billy up for a group home if any are available. Something to motivate him to do more with his life. heck, I know a woman who is about eight years older than I am. She cannot live alone. Her parents are not well educated (her mom cannot read enough to grocery shop alone) and they did not know enough to push her to handle more. They kept rules in place like making her ask to go outside even when she was thirty. But she has worked full time since she was 16. She did finish a special program and graduate high school. For many years her dad would be laid off a few weeks here, a month or two there. She gave her entire check to her parents to pay the mortgage and the bills. she may have just been a dishwasher, but after being one in the same place for fifteen years she earned a decent wage. </p><p></p><p>Her parents only started NOT taking her entire check when her older bro convinced them she would have to handle cash after they died, so she needed to learn soon. </p><p></p><p>Billy is more capable than this. MUCH more capable. No way is he moderately retarded. He has figured out that if he just doesn't bring the money up and he gets an attitude about chores then he can spend all his money on whatever AND he can avoid all chores.</p><p></p><p>At the very least you need to push him to do some things to contribute to the household. It has to be a battle YOU are willing to fight because Tony is gone so much of the week.</p><p></p><p>Decide what consequences you are willing to impose, and how to impose them with the least effort on YOUR part. Let Billy know that if he pushes you on this he can go live with Cory with-o the internet. It would beat being homeless, which is where you end up if you will not even pay fifty bucks in rent. Make sure he knows that homeless people have no internet OR computers. Same for shelters.</p><p></p><p>Regardless of his challenges, Billy must live in the real world. You and Tony will not be there forever. Your job as parents is to prepare him to handle the world when you are gone. in my opinion, anyway.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 333342, member: 1233"] Janet, have Tony get some locks for you. Lock the cabinets. Put a chain around the fridge. If Billy doesn't eat he won't need access. If he does, well, then he can do dishes to get access to the food. Do to Get, remember? It is very unrealistic for Billy to be able to live somewhere, get internet and electric for all his stuff, free room and board and only pay $100. You are not teaching him to be an adult, you are keeping him a child with this system. Is he capable of working more than twenty hours? If so, charge him like he is not working part time. Until he has real obligations, faces having his electric turned off and/or being hungry/evicted, he will NOT pony up the money. I would turn the breaker to his room OFF and leave him with-o power/internet. Until he pays this month AND a hefty penalty. It is a real world consequence for not paying the electric. You may want to sign Billy up for a group home if any are available. Something to motivate him to do more with his life. heck, I know a woman who is about eight years older than I am. She cannot live alone. Her parents are not well educated (her mom cannot read enough to grocery shop alone) and they did not know enough to push her to handle more. They kept rules in place like making her ask to go outside even when she was thirty. But she has worked full time since she was 16. She did finish a special program and graduate high school. For many years her dad would be laid off a few weeks here, a month or two there. She gave her entire check to her parents to pay the mortgage and the bills. she may have just been a dishwasher, but after being one in the same place for fifteen years she earned a decent wage. Her parents only started NOT taking her entire check when her older bro convinced them she would have to handle cash after they died, so she needed to learn soon. Billy is more capable than this. MUCH more capable. No way is he moderately retarded. He has figured out that if he just doesn't bring the money up and he gets an attitude about chores then he can spend all his money on whatever AND he can avoid all chores. At the very least you need to push him to do some things to contribute to the household. It has to be a battle YOU are willing to fight because Tony is gone so much of the week. Decide what consequences you are willing to impose, and how to impose them with the least effort on YOUR part. Let Billy know that if he pushes you on this he can go live with Cory with-o the internet. It would beat being homeless, which is where you end up if you will not even pay fifty bucks in rent. Make sure he knows that homeless people have no internet OR computers. Same for shelters. Regardless of his challenges, Billy must live in the real world. You and Tony will not be there forever. Your job as parents is to prepare him to handle the world when you are gone. in my opinion, anyway. [/QUOTE]
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