Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Single dad / adult son problems
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Ascending" data-source="post: 762694" data-attributes="member: 29778"><p>Your thread just came up as similar to one I posted. I am not sure why I hadn’t seen it before since we arrived here at roughly same time, both with 20 year olds, single mom to your single dad, etc.</p><p></p><p>Like others have said, one cannot change someone else, only oneself.</p><p></p><p>I started with a focus on what my own needs are and expressing those. (Sometimes I probably am too lax still but am improving hugely! Another more experienced member here caught me going too lax on meanness to pets. That’s been dealt with. )</p><p></p><p>Someone told me about a book called In Sheep’s Clothing by George Simon</p><p>And</p><p>Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey (or close to that name)</p><p></p><p>Both, particularly the former, have helped me understand and deal with manipulative personality. </p><p>The latter, as a concept, helped me to understand that the way to get off drugs is to get off. As Yoda might say: Do or Do Not, There is no Try.</p><p></p><p>(i was also told about a subliminal audio program that I can find information on again or maybe it’s in my main thread if that would help your son. Mine was able to quit his use without.)</p><p></p><p></p><p>My son recently started a logging company, lumber mill job, which seems almost military in its ways, (this would be sort of boot camp stage equivalent with work start at 4am and heavy manual labor for 8 or more hours thereafter with 50 minutes total break time) though obviously it’s not actually military and generally not 24/7. It seems to be going extremely well. Part of me wants to put a caveat on (like but it’s still early days), however I think for me to be in the Do or Do Not mode myself is wise: I expect him to succeed in this job, and to advance within this same company. No tolerated drug relapses. I won’t allow him to stay in my home if he does, and the company won’t allow that for the job since it endangers everyone. He had a brief prior job at a lax place where he was assigned to assist someone who seemed to be tweaking on drugs, and that probably helped him to experience how unpleasant that was.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Anyway, I hope you are managing to meet your own needs and those of your new girlfriend. And with Limit setting for your son. It’s really rough!!!</p><p></p><p>Would love to see an update to your posts!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ascending, post: 762694, member: 29778"] Your thread just came up as similar to one I posted. I am not sure why I hadn’t seen it before since we arrived here at roughly same time, both with 20 year olds, single mom to your single dad, etc. Like others have said, one cannot change someone else, only oneself. I started with a focus on what my own needs are and expressing those. (Sometimes I probably am too lax still but am improving hugely! Another more experienced member here caught me going too lax on meanness to pets. That’s been dealt with. ) Someone told me about a book called In Sheep’s Clothing by George Simon And Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey (or close to that name) Both, particularly the former, have helped me understand and deal with manipulative personality. The latter, as a concept, helped me to understand that the way to get off drugs is to get off. As Yoda might say: Do or Do Not, There is no Try. (i was also told about a subliminal audio program that I can find information on again or maybe it’s in my main thread if that would help your son. Mine was able to quit his use without.) My son recently started a logging company, lumber mill job, which seems almost military in its ways, (this would be sort of boot camp stage equivalent with work start at 4am and heavy manual labor for 8 or more hours thereafter with 50 minutes total break time) though obviously it’s not actually military and generally not 24/7. It seems to be going extremely well. Part of me wants to put a caveat on (like but it’s still early days), however I think for me to be in the Do or Do Not mode myself is wise: I expect him to succeed in this job, and to advance within this same company. No tolerated drug relapses. I won’t allow him to stay in my home if he does, and the company won’t allow that for the job since it endangers everyone. He had a brief prior job at a lax place where he was assigned to assist someone who seemed to be tweaking on drugs, and that probably helped him to experience how unpleasant that was. Anyway, I hope you are managing to meet your own needs and those of your new girlfriend. And with Limit setting for your son. It’s really rough!!! Would love to see an update to your posts! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Single dad / adult son problems
Top