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Single Mom being challenged by Teen Son
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<blockquote data-quote="DixieGoody" data-source="post: 567591" data-attributes="member: 15644"><p>OH MY GOODNESS! This is the best! I am just now being able to get back here to check messages and EACH of you have been wonderful. Sheila, I see so much similarities. To answer the question about his dad, it's one of those typical stories (that one hopes not to be the status quo). After 20 years of marriage and "parenting together" which means as long as I told him where to be and when to be and how to --- he was there. However, with the 17 difficult child I have been speaking of.... he and his dad were inseparable. Mainly because his dad lived his life thru difficult child with sports. difficult child withdrew from sports. When his dad got angry with me after the divorce, his punishment was to not see the kids. I would beg him to please see them as much as possible - NEVER limiting him. He came maybe 4 times a year. He now lives about 4 hours away and about a month before this last incident we were all "SUPPOSE" to be working towards difficult child moving in with his dad. As the time kept getting closer his dad found excuses to the point that the weekend it was to happen he told difficult child that difficult child was just running away and needed to stay and figure things out. In Other Words: Don't let your problems interfere with my life. difficult child GP tested him for hormonal, drugs, etc. (NO ISSUES). difficult child psychologist did test him and said he has major anger & depression. They tried him on some medications that didn't work. He's been trying to get on ADD medications (he had been stealing some from his older brother) but I won't allow him to be on a controlled substance so he is trying some other medications. I can't say it's the medications that's causing it because he acted this way when he wasn't on them too. His dad was diagnosed with Narcissism and Depression. </p><p>I am on an emotional roller-coaster. I feel like he is safer in my home but I don't feel safe when he's in my home. I truly believe that alot of the behavior started with DAD. When the kids would go visit with their dad after the divorce they said he was taking it VERY hard and that included disrespecting me. Plus with the fact that because of "me" he wouldn't come see them. Then the oldest son would disrespect me but not like this one. In fact, 17gfg would be the one to call the oldest out on the disrespect. When the oldest (23) moved out 6 month ago, the torch passed on. Even though the 17gfg was already disrespecting me since 14 -- I called many of those things just being a teen. Now it seems like he is doing what his dad used to do which I call "thumping his chest" ME MAN - you just a woman. I can't stand the though of my sons disrespecting women and I want so desperately to be the one to show them how to do it the right way and feel like such a failure. I know, I know - no self-pity. I can talk my way out of that but I can't find the solution.</p><p>I confess: I have hit my breaking point with him. I HATE THAT and the word 'hate' is not allowed in my house. I know I am strict because I have to be both MOM & DAD and I feel that I don't have enough eyes on them to make sure they don't mess up or correct them when they do so. </p><p>I never wanted to use the "single mom" card. Thank you all for reading my rambles. What a BLESSING to find this site!</p><p>AGAIN - sorry for the ramble. As much as I want to go back edit the post - it's how I am feeling and I am going to roll with it. HA!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DixieGoody, post: 567591, member: 15644"] OH MY GOODNESS! This is the best! I am just now being able to get back here to check messages and EACH of you have been wonderful. Sheila, I see so much similarities. To answer the question about his dad, it's one of those typical stories (that one hopes not to be the status quo). After 20 years of marriage and "parenting together" which means as long as I told him where to be and when to be and how to --- he was there. However, with the 17 difficult child I have been speaking of.... he and his dad were inseparable. Mainly because his dad lived his life thru difficult child with sports. difficult child withdrew from sports. When his dad got angry with me after the divorce, his punishment was to not see the kids. I would beg him to please see them as much as possible - NEVER limiting him. He came maybe 4 times a year. He now lives about 4 hours away and about a month before this last incident we were all "SUPPOSE" to be working towards difficult child moving in with his dad. As the time kept getting closer his dad found excuses to the point that the weekend it was to happen he told difficult child that difficult child was just running away and needed to stay and figure things out. In Other Words: Don't let your problems interfere with my life. difficult child GP tested him for hormonal, drugs, etc. (NO ISSUES). difficult child psychologist did test him and said he has major anger & depression. They tried him on some medications that didn't work. He's been trying to get on ADD medications (he had been stealing some from his older brother) but I won't allow him to be on a controlled substance so he is trying some other medications. I can't say it's the medications that's causing it because he acted this way when he wasn't on them too. His dad was diagnosed with Narcissism and Depression. I am on an emotional roller-coaster. I feel like he is safer in my home but I don't feel safe when he's in my home. I truly believe that alot of the behavior started with DAD. When the kids would go visit with their dad after the divorce they said he was taking it VERY hard and that included disrespecting me. Plus with the fact that because of "me" he wouldn't come see them. Then the oldest son would disrespect me but not like this one. In fact, 17gfg would be the one to call the oldest out on the disrespect. When the oldest (23) moved out 6 month ago, the torch passed on. Even though the 17gfg was already disrespecting me since 14 -- I called many of those things just being a teen. Now it seems like he is doing what his dad used to do which I call "thumping his chest" ME MAN - you just a woman. I can't stand the though of my sons disrespecting women and I want so desperately to be the one to show them how to do it the right way and feel like such a failure. I know, I know - no self-pity. I can talk my way out of that but I can't find the solution. I confess: I have hit my breaking point with him. I HATE THAT and the word 'hate' is not allowed in my house. I know I am strict because I have to be both MOM & DAD and I feel that I don't have enough eyes on them to make sure they don't mess up or correct them when they do so. I never wanted to use the "single mom" card. Thank you all for reading my rambles. What a BLESSING to find this site! AGAIN - sorry for the ramble. As much as I want to go back edit the post - it's how I am feeling and I am going to roll with it. HA! [/QUOTE]
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