Single Parenting and the mom of eight, well, fourteen

[Marcie Mac]

I watched her unveiling to the world yesterday and came away thinking she should have spent a lot of quality time with a therapist BEFORE having all of these kids as she seemed to be living in another world where having 14 kids was a cake walk - one of her older ones is autistic, and who knows what kinds of problems the new premies will have.

Nothng is a problem - its all ok, I am going back to school in September to get my masters so I can support us all. The problem is, as one of the psychatric professors at UCLA said on the radio yesterday, she has never supported herself. Her financial support has come from her enabaling parents who take care of the 7 she already had, school grants, disability payments (which have now stopped). She is counting on her parents, friends, and her church to step up to the plate. She would like the sperm donor, a friend of hers, to step up to the plate as well and get involved in his kids (all 14 of them) lives.

One must feel a lot of emptyness to think you need 14 children to fill a void. She kept saying she loves kids - what will happen when they are not so cute anymore when they hit the dreaded teen years, and one or more of them is a raging difficult child - she probably doesn't even know what a difficult child is.. The scarey part of this whole thing to me is she is a pysch major and doesn't see the obsessivness of this whole process.

She was very defensive in the interview when it was brought up that a lot of people do not agree with her decision to do this. When she was explaing her desire for children, it kinda creeped me out as it came across as she wanted to do some kind of martian meld with them.

Its not about being a single parent - been there done that but now that I am older am aware of how much the male father figure fits into the who picture, nor do I think we should be limiting the amount of kids one should have, as long as you can afford financially to take care of them.

Marcie

 

[donna723]

I think it sounds like she has completely lost touch with reality (if she ever had it to start with!). She has no idea what it's like to be totally responsible for raising even ONE child, much less fourteen!

I didn't see the interview so I don't have it first hand, and the stories that came out seemed to contradict each other. But did she actually say in this interview that she had a degree in psychology? The first stories that came out said she had her certification as a "psychiatric technician' or something like that, whatever that is. I work for the State and with our Civil Service system, a job title of 'psychiatric technician' is the people who work in the State mental hospitals, much like an orderly or a nurses aid - not a highly skilled or very well paying job.

And what fertility clinic would be unethical enough to implant EIGHT embryos into an unemployed, unmarried woman with obvious psychological problems and six other children at home already! This whole thing makes me more than a little sick! And the saddest part is ... you can be sure that there WILL be TV shows and magazines eager to pay her big bucks for her story, then 'the book' will be next!

 

[klmno]

I wasn't impressed with her. I'm a single mom and I agree that the issue is not -or should not be- that she's a single mom. The issue to me is you shouldn't have kids just "because you want one" (or should I say-14)- what about what the kids need and being able to give it to them? There is no way that I'm going to believe she can keep these babies fed, clean, diapered, etc by herself and go to college at the same time. What's the law on how many young children a day care worker can safely watch at one time? And how many believe those kids get the attention and care they need 8 hours a day, much less 24? I don't call it a big family like she does- I call it an orphanage.

 

[Marcie Mac]

Donna here is the link to her interview http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29039266/

She is obviously going to get some money by doing the talk show circuit but not as much as she obviously thought. Gerber has already come out and said she is not "on their radar" - and thats probably because of the negative uproar she has caused -the sponsors are definately backing off.

I think because she said she was going back for a masters degree, that must seem like she has a bachlors? I have heard mentioned a few times that she was a "professional student" They also have been showing a lawsuit she had against the state where a riot in a state mental hospital left her with severe back problems, she couldn't bend down, lift anything and even walking left her in pain, not to mention the part where she claimed she was distressed, depressed and SUICIDAL

I am not for limiting amount of eggs or really telling someone they can have X amount of children only-obviously some women there are reasons for multiple deposits. But I do think they should make it mandatory that there are imputs from a psychiatric side before this is done. The fertility doctor should have seen big red flags, in my humble opinion, with this case and if it is deemed he has crossed the ethical line, HE should be forking over monatory support of these poor kids.

Having kids is a hugh committment-not only just emotional but financially as well -if she loves them so much she should have taken on some of the children out there who need loving homes thru adoption.

Marcie

 

[Sagegrad]

I think the woman is definately in need of some professional help herself.

I did however get a chuckle from an article I saw the otherday that definately needed some proofreading. The sentence said that she had gotten pregnant with her first child after a riot at the hospital she worked in. If a riot can result in one getting pregnant, I DEFINATELY want no part of that.

Sage

 

[klmno]

I think she said in her interview that she wants to be a counselor- is that correct?

 

[donna723]

"They also have been showing a lawsuit she had against the state where a riot in a state mental hospital left her with severe back problems, she couldn't bend down, lift anything and even walking left her in pain ..."

So this person thinks she is capable of caring for FOURTEEN small children, including EIGHT newborns, by herself! Yeah, right! She sounds like a real nut job to me! A resident of "La La Land"! And it sounds like her parents are true 'enablers". She couldn't have done this without a lot of help from them! I feel so sorry for those poor children!

 

[DDD]

Have any of you experienced "back problems"?? There is NO way that you can bend, stoop, lift, shop, push strollers, balance babies for baths etc. by yourself if you have "back problems". I have never been woosey but on a number of occasions I flat out could not take care of my preschool
kids alone without mega painkillers which obviously is not conducive to sharp parenting skills.

This story is downright S A D! I'm assuming that DCF is on alert already.
DDD

 

[Andy]

I don't think this lady has a single clue what it means to take care of ONE baby. She seems so incompetent. To her, you have the baby and then mom and dad will take care of both you and baby. "It is not about the money" because it is all about the ATTENTION. She loves the attention. She wants her parents to continue to coddle her and enable her foolish decisions (foolish for her because she is not responsible enough to live up to her obligations). She wants the attention of her church and community. The more babies, the more HELP. And of course, people will help because they are doing this for those kids, not for her. How many of us would turn our back on her babies just because she is manipulative? Of course her church, community, and parents are going to make sure those babies are safe and well cared for because they know she has no clue what it takes and probably will refuse to do the work anyway.

There are people out there that can handle a large number of kids at one time - I do not feel she is one of them.

As for the law suit, if she did seriously injure her back, how could she have carried and delivered those babies? If she indeed has a bad back,that would be part of her "poor me - I need help" story DURING her pregnancy, not, "Oh yeah, forgot - I have a bad back" Like she is trying to pull out all the whines possible to manipulate anyone she can to step forward and do the physical work of parenting. And, "It is not about the money", I need funds to buy diapers and food for all these kids. (I hope there is not a company out there to donate a year's worth) How is she going to bond with any of these kids while she is looking for others to do her parenting work?

In a nutshell, my gut tells me this is so wrong because she is seeking attention for herself - she loves the lime light and if having lots of babies will give it to her than so be it. So unfair to those kids.

 

[gcvmom]

She reminded me a bit of the female half of a famous Hollywood couple that has a large brood of kids and is contemplating more.... and she looks like she's had cosmetic surgery (nose, lip augmentation) to even make her LOOK like that person. Anyone else see that?

 

[bran155]

One of the NY newspapers, can't remember which one, had this story on the front page. It said that she suffers from mental illness. Paranoia, depression and PTSD!!! And she wanted 8 more kids WHY???? (didn't read the article)

If she didn't really have PTSD then, she will now!!!!! LOL

 

[klmno]

If she didn't really have PTSD then, she will now!!!!! LOL

No kidding! You think we should show a little compassion and send her a card from the group with a suggestion that she wait until a couple of these kids go thru puberty before deciding whether or not to have any more kids?

 

[DDD]

Now they are saying that she had plastic surgery to look like Angelina Jolie. Oh My Goodness Gracious! Is truth stranger than fiction..or what?
DDD

 

[Marcie Mac]

I noticed that GCV about her face and the likeness but gave her the benfit of the doubt - thinking maybe it was just swelling, water retention???

They are already comparing her situation to Angelina - but the difference is about 5 or 6 million salary wise.

If she had the surgery to look like her, then she is wacked out even more than I thought..

Marcie

 

[bran155]

The first time I saw her I thought that same thing to myself. I thought it was Botox though!!! And she does not look like Angelina Jolie, though that could explain why she wants all of these kids!!!! lol

 

[Nancy]

Her fertility doctor should be sued by the state to recover all the expenses for their care.

Nancy

 

[bran155]

Nancy, you are so right. Shoot, the state of NY is suing me for child support for placing my daughter in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I never did understand why people who cannot afford the kids they do have, have more!!! Especially when they are already on Welfare!!! I know plenty of people who have done this and it just gets my blood boiling!!!

 

[Kjs]

I think- I should of dropped off difficult child for a week.

 

[Hound dog]

Nancy you made a very wise point. And I agree.

No one should be able to tell you how many kids you can have. On the other hand the state shouldn't pay for fertility treatment either. I can't believe that was even covered. Especially considering how hard it can be to pay for necessary procedures at times.

These types of multiple births have always bothered me on a certain level. While I understand a mother not being able to terminate some fetus's to ensure the fate of others........a hard decision under the best of conditions........Once these litters of multiple babies come home it becomes a community project to raise them, most especially during those first 2 years.

Baby food companies, baby product companies lavish these Mom's with gifts just so they can feed and diaper their 5-8 infants. There are tv shows and specials about them giving them celebrity status. I don't see the same baby product companies offering freebies to low income families.

I dunno. I like Jon and Kate plus 8. I respect that couple because they work hard to tend to their family as parents without ten tons of help from outside. They foot their own bills. And yeah, I know the show helps.......but that money is going for college funds.

The real problem is that many of the parents of such large mult births can't do that.

I think there needs to be a regulation as to how many embryos can be implanted at once. That at least reduces the chance of such large mult families.

This lady is scary. I hope CPS keeps a very close eye on her.

Just my 2 cents worth.

 

[crazymama30]

I think if she could emotionally, physically and financially care for them I would not care. But I do not think she can do any of those things. She is going to go to a school with a day care??? So is the daycare going to hire more staff to care for her children? No daycare can absorb 14 kids, 8 of which are infants, without hiring more people. How many of the 8 will be special needs?

I am glad I am not her. I don't think you could force me to, pay me to have 14 kids. I love my 2, count them 2, but I am happy with them.