Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Sister driving me crazy
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 194527" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: blue">Here is the letter I sent to all my siblings - please tell me what you think?? Thanks!</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Dear PA Sister,</span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I have a comment and a few questions in regards to your letter.</span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">First, it was my understanding that I was paid in full for all of June. I sent you all of Mays money and all of Junes money as well. Mom wasnt in PA for the last two weeks of June she was with WV Sister - and I thought that I actually had a credit for June. Was money sent to WV Sister to cover costs whiles Mom was there? I wasnt aware of that so please let me know so I have a better understanding of my balance due. I have already processed through my bank the payments for Aug/Sept.</span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">And my questions:</span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">1)</span> </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Are you still planning on having a tag sale of the items from Moms apt? If so, what will happen with the money from selling mom's items? I feel that any monies received should offset the monthly cost of mom's daycare, even if its just a little bit.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">2)</span> </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I understand about her keeping a few dollars aside in case she wants to buy something, but after RX co-pays and personal supplies, I am thinking that she could contribute at least an additional $200 more than the initial $600 towards her day care needs, as her funeral costs will be covered shortly between her savings and her settlement (more on that later) so there is no need to be concerned with setting any more money aside for that. </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">3)</span> </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">What actions have you taken to find mom a home near you? Have you created a list of places to see? You can acquire the state paperwork, including the Title 19 as well as any services that may be covered through the VA, at the homes you look at. If you want to arrange a date, I can come down and help you look at places.</span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Mom is eligible for both the Title 19 and the VA benefits. Researching and applying for these is a necessary step in setting her up for a home. </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Once this step is made, we will all have a better time frame as to how long she will be in your home and how long we will need to contribute to her monthly care. </span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">4)</span> </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Is it your intention to find Mom a home or not? From the last couple of conversations I have had with you, it seems that you plan on having Mommy stay with you indefinitely.</span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I will be honest, I cannot see her being able to live with you (or any of us) indefinitely without a plan for the future in place. As much as I agree its nicer to have her living with family, its really only feasible for the short term. It is in her best interest, as well as all of ours, to find a home for her sooner rather than later. Also, I cannot see me being able to commit to sending $100+ every month indefinitely.</span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">This Summer, we had all agreed that mom will receive the best 24-hour care from a facility and that was our agreed upon goal. Now it seems that the terms have changed and I would like to know whats what. </span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Per WV Sister, moms lawsuit has been settled. After I sign the papers and all fees are paid to the attorneys, Mom will likely receive somewhere around $4000 give or take a couple of hundred. That money is earmarked for Moms funeral costs, also as agreed. Any further costs will come directly out of her savings account. This will ensure that all of those funeral related costs have been covered and are set so there will be no surprises when Mom passes away. </span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I believe we should all have an accounting of what her balances are in the savings and checking accounts so we know what her monthly budget is, as well as to help figure out what our funeral budget will be. If you dont have time to get this information, I can contact the bank directly and get that info myself.</span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I can also contact some funeral homes in your area to get some prices. If there is one in particular that stands out or has a better reputation than others, please let me know. According to Mom, she does not want a wake or traditional funeral. As we all know, she wants a simple cremation and then a service at her church, St. Johns. Considering her wishes, that means we will not have to waste money on an expensive coffin for her, so I will be asking for the least expensive services available. If anyone objects to this, please let me know. Have you heard anything about _____ Funeral Home? I think its in _____? It looked nice on line but you would know better since you live there.</span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'">Please dont take this letter as an attack, as so much emotion is lost in emails I am merely asking a few questions and want to open some discussion about Mom and the plans for her future care. If you can hit reply all when replying, that would help us all have an opportunity to discuss things openly. I love you and I know youre doing your best for Mom, I know its not easy and I know that having Mom in your home can really </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'">shake things up</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'">. I am glad that Mom is happy with Caregiver, as Im sure shes a nice lady and keeps Mom engaged during the day. Im glad you were able to get her in place so fast before you returned to work. I know that everything will work out if we all work together.</span></span></strong></span></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #8064a2"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Love Jo</span></span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 194527, member: 2211"] [FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=blue]Here is the letter I sent to all my siblings - please tell me what you think?? Thanks![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]Dear PA Sister,[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]I have a comment and a few questions in regards to your letter.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]First, it was my understanding that I was paid in full for all of June. I sent you all of Mays money and all of Junes money as well. Mom wasnt in PA for the last two weeks of June she was with WV Sister - and I thought that I actually had a credit for June. Was money sent to WV Sister to cover costs whiles Mom was there? I wasnt aware of that so please let me know so I have a better understanding of my balance due. I have already processed through my bank the payments for Aug/Sept.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]And my questions:[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]1)[/SIZE] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]Are you still planning on having a tag sale of the items from Moms apt? If so, what will happen with the money from selling mom's items? I feel that any monies received should offset the monthly cost of mom's daycare, even if its just a little bit.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]2)[/SIZE] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]I understand about her keeping a few dollars aside in case she wants to buy something, but after RX co-pays and personal supplies, I am thinking that she could contribute at least an additional $200 more than the initial $600 towards her day care needs, as her funeral costs will be covered shortly between her savings and her settlement (more on that later) so there is no need to be concerned with setting any more money aside for that. [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]3)[/SIZE] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]What actions have you taken to find mom a home near you? Have you created a list of places to see? You can acquire the state paperwork, including the Title 19 as well as any services that may be covered through the VA, at the homes you look at. If you want to arrange a date, I can come down and help you look at places.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]Mom is eligible for both the Title 19 and the VA benefits. Researching and applying for these is a necessary step in setting her up for a home. [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]Once this step is made, we will all have a better time frame as to how long she will be in your home and how long we will need to contribute to her monthly care. [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]4)[/SIZE] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]Is it your intention to find Mom a home or not? From the last couple of conversations I have had with you, it seems that you plan on having Mommy stay with you indefinitely.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]I will be honest, I cannot see her being able to live with you (or any of us) indefinitely without a plan for the future in place. As much as I agree its nicer to have her living with family, its really only feasible for the short term. It is in her best interest, as well as all of ours, to find a home for her sooner rather than later. Also, I cannot see me being able to commit to sending $100+ every month indefinitely.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]This Summer, we had all agreed that mom will receive the best 24-hour care from a facility and that was our agreed upon goal. Now it seems that the terms have changed and I would like to know whats what. [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]Per WV Sister, moms lawsuit has been settled. After I sign the papers and all fees are paid to the attorneys, Mom will likely receive somewhere around $4000 give or take a couple of hundred. That money is earmarked for Moms funeral costs, also as agreed. Any further costs will come directly out of her savings account. This will ensure that all of those funeral related costs have been covered and are set so there will be no surprises when Mom passes away. [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]I believe we should all have an accounting of what her balances are in the savings and checking accounts so we know what her monthly budget is, as well as to help figure out what our funeral budget will be. If you dont have time to get this information, I can contact the bank directly and get that info myself.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]I can also contact some funeral homes in your area to get some prices. If there is one in particular that stands out or has a better reputation than others, please let me know. According to Mom, she does not want a wake or traditional funeral. As we all know, she wants a simple cremation and then a service at her church, St. Johns. Considering her wishes, that means we will not have to waste money on an expensive coffin for her, so I will be asking for the least expensive services available. If anyone objects to this, please let me know. Have you heard anything about _____ Funeral Home? I think its in _____? It looked nice on line but you would know better since you live there.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [SIZE=3][B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond]Please dont take this letter as an attack, as so much emotion is lost in emails I am merely asking a few questions and want to open some discussion about Mom and the plans for her future care. If you can hit reply all when replying, that would help us all have an opportunity to discuss things openly. I love you and I know youre doing your best for Mom, I know its not easy and I know that having Mom in your home can really [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond]shake things up[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond]. I am glad that Mom is happy with Caregiver, as Im sure shes a nice lady and keeps Mom engaged during the day. Im glad you were able to get her in place so fast before you returned to work. I know that everything will work out if we all work together.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#8064a2][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3]Love Jo[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Sister driving me crazy
Top