Sister-in-law-to-be's Shower Saturday

[gcvmom]

This is the woman who is marrying my 40yo difficult child/doofus bro. I guess I should call her sister in law#4, since I already have three on husband's side.

My mom and I are driving together. The shower is at sister in law#4's mom's house. This will be our first time meeting HER parents (or mom, anyway). And I think it's maybe the (counts on her fingers... one, two, three, four, five...) SIXTH time I've seen sister in law#4 in the 3yrs 9mos she's been living with my difficult child-bro. So we really won't know or be familiar with ANYONE at this shin-dig. Yeah, I'm a little anxious about it.

It's a "High Tea," which I think is a term that's not really even in use anymore. I sure hope they're not wearing gloves and hats!

Hopefully my mom and I will behave ourselves. Mom's happy her son is getting married, but a bit concerned that he hasn't done much to familiarize his bride-to-be with the rest of the family. We really don't know much about her (other than what they posted on their wedding webpages). It should be an interesting ride home with my mom!

 

[tiredmommy]

Try to enjoy yourself today... and put yourself in her shoes. She's marrying into a family the she's unfamiliar with and her mother wouldn't recognise your mother walking down the street. I'd be stressed!

 

[Star*]

Okay - just FYI

Most US "high teas" (unless she's doing this between 5 -7 oclock) are not really high teas. High teas in the US are usually with pasteries or savories and a High Tea in England would be a meat event.

Just a few tea rules - the proper way to hold a tea cup without a handle is to place your thumb at the 6 oclock position and your index finger and second finger at 12:00 - your pinky is raised slightly.

If your cup has a handle? The same above applies except you're holding the handle - pinky is raised slightly.

DO NOT STIR tea. To best accomplish blending cream or lemon - make a back and forth motion with your spoon like you are folding in from 12 to 6 oclock. DO not leave your spoon in your tea - but place it at the 3 oclock position on your saucer. Proper etiquitte is to replace your tea cup back to the saucer each time you are between sips.

Gloves and hats are usually worn for what I think should have been called an afternoon tea. Linen napkins should be draped across your lap, no elbows on the table.

If you sit? You may put your knees together and lean them to the side, no crossing of legs - it's ill manners at a tea.

When done - the proper thing to do is leave your teacup saucer and spoon on the table - the server should be in the room after you are finished with your savories or pasteries and then you all should find another room to mingle in while the room is cleaned.

Best not to stay for a real high tea longer than 2 hours - and never ever after 7:00 pm.

Sounds like a lot of fun - hope you enjoy your day -

Hugs

 

[donna723]

"We really don't know much about her (other than what they posted on their wedding webpages)."

Well, just the fact that they would make a "High Tea" out of a bridal shower kinda says a lot now, doesn't it! Maybe that just means that they won't be playing a lot of those dumb games!

 

[Lothlorien]

Well, I am certainly looking forward to the follow up post to this. {insert evil laugh....mwahahahahahah}

 

[house of cards]

I'm another one that is hoping high tea means you get to escape the silly bridal shower games. It's just another day to get through.

 

[Wiped Out]

I hope it turned out better than you thought!

 

[flutterby]

I'm pretty sure you're all supposed to speak with an English accent, too.

 

[gcvmom]

Maybe that just means that they won't be playing a lot of those dumb games!

IF ONLY!

Well, my mom and I survived. And I was very well-behaved (well mostly) and kept my claws in, saving them for the ride home. I told my mom I needed to get it all out now so it didn't accidentally pop out at the wedding after a few glasses of wine!

I see why sister in law#4 is the way she is. Meek, unsure of herself, worried about making mistakes, a bit of a nervous Nelly. Her mom is, in a word, controlling. Another word would be critical. Dramatic. Obnoxious. Egotistical. Maybe even a tad narcissistic. Am I surprised that her only son is gay? If I were a guy raised by a mom like that, I wouldn't be too keen on women either.

But aside from all that, the mom is a great cook, knows how to set a beautiful table, and is very energetic and up-beat! Her home is lovely, she is a master clematis gardener (was nationally known for a while), and I'm delighted that her daughter is so clearly head-over-heels for my difficult child-bro (good thing she didn't meet his family FIRST -- she would've run for the hills!) I think that she will give him exactly what he needs in his life and I wish them a long and happy marriage!

I sat next to two of the mom's sister in law's. Very pleasant, down-to-earth people, who I sensed didn't have much patience for the mom's antics. It was kind of funny to watch THEM roll their eyes at her! So I felt like I was in good company.

We did play games, unfortunately. Not that I don't like games -- I enjoy a good game, I really do. But these were lame, mostly because the mom only thought about them from her own perspective (Martha Stewart wannabe). One example: memory game where sister in law#4 walked around the room wearing an apron with a couple dozen kitchen gadgets attached. We had to try to remember what was on the apron. Easy enough, right? Nope. The majority of those gadgets were so incredibly obscure that no one but the mom knew what they were. It felt like she was showing off in a weird sort of way. Which kinda took the fun out of it.

The other three games weren't much of an improvement. But I DID win a prize! For having my name randomly drawn out of a hat. I have no idea what they are, but they look like slippers for a chicken, along with a matching beak warmer! I'll have to post a photo later. Actually, I think they are mini-pot holders, or something like that. The triangle thing I have no idea. Maybe Star knows -- she gave such great advice on how to behave at a High Tea -- maybe it's High Tea paraphernalia.

Only one person wore a hat, although my mother wore hers too but took it off once she got inside. Nobody wore gloves. I actually felt a teeny bit overdressed! So I'm feeling a lot more relaxed about the whole wedding thing and what to expect from this family.

Anyhow, my next objective is to find out exactly where this ceremony we're supposed to attend is being held and what time we should be there. Since difficult child-bro still hasn't been able to get me the info after two weeks, I emailed sister in law#4 about it tonight. I'm sure she'll come through.