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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 665780" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Oh, no, Copa. To have done that for me was such a fine thing for you to have done. It was my presentation that was wrong. I was like, all cheerful, encouraging mommy: This is how you can become someone we both approve of because we both know you are not happy being the who that you are. Son did respond right away. He said not to worry, that I take everything too seriously and that he wasn't offended.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes!</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>An amazing thing, Copa.</p><p></p><p>I felt so badly about myself yesterday. But today, I feel such gratitude to have seen that way I was thinking about my own child. I told him, in my apology, that we love him so much, and that we are doing the best we know.</p><p></p><p>You are exactly right, Copa. This is huge. It could not possibly have happened in a better way; not for son, and not for me. It was like, painful quickly and gratitude quickly. Plus, I was able not to concentrate on beating myself up for the wrongness in the way I suddenly was able to see that I have been seeing him. I did not desert myself. I was able to know and name the value of the good thing I had seen, and not get stuck in how bad it was to have seen in the ways I had been seeing.</p><p></p><p>And I knew it when it was happening, Copa and Serenity. I could see myself comforting myself and accepting the truth that, though I had not been perfect again, I was being a good enough mom.</p><p></p><p>Because I was grateful for having seen it, I could be flexible, could let the goodness of what was learned be the good thing that kept me afloat, instead of falling into contempt for myself.</p><p></p><p>I really am getting better, and I am so...well, yep. Grateful is the word. </p><p></p><p>Thankful.</p><p></p><p>Thankful, and I am not the contemptuous mother, after all. </p><p></p><p>So many incredible things happened because you took your own time and kindly helped me for his sake, Copa.</p><p></p><p>Another miracle, then. Truly, they are happening all around us, all the time.</p><p></p><p>And I never once saw it coming.</p><p></p><p>Didn't feel much like a miracle while it was happening, though.</p><p></p><p>Ew.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I just couldn't see it, Copa.</p><p></p><p>I always do listen, when you post. I have to filter everything, and I can only see how I see until BOOM.</p><p></p><p>Another layer. </p><p></p><p>I am so pleased, Copa.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p><p></p><p>This will change everything, for me and for him.</p><p></p><p>I do think he was pleased, to realize that I thought enough of him to care whether he would think I was right or wrong in my presentation.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>You have been exploring it, Copa. You have been trying to tell me, too. I just could not see it.</p><p></p><p>Now I do.</p><p></p><p>HA!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you very much, Copa.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p><p></p><p>I am proud and happy for myself, too.</p><p></p><p>It only hurt me for a little while.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 665780, member: 17461"] Oh, no, Copa. To have done that for me was such a fine thing for you to have done. It was my presentation that was wrong. I was like, all cheerful, encouraging mommy: This is how you can become someone we both approve of because we both know you are not happy being the who that you are. Son did respond right away. He said not to worry, that I take everything too seriously and that he wasn't offended. Yes! :O) Yes. An amazing thing, Copa. I felt so badly about myself yesterday. But today, I feel such gratitude to have seen that way I was thinking about my own child. I told him, in my apology, that we love him so much, and that we are doing the best we know. You are exactly right, Copa. This is huge. It could not possibly have happened in a better way; not for son, and not for me. It was like, painful quickly and gratitude quickly. Plus, I was able not to concentrate on beating myself up for the wrongness in the way I suddenly was able to see that I have been seeing him. I did not desert myself. I was able to know and name the value of the good thing I had seen, and not get stuck in how bad it was to have seen in the ways I had been seeing. And I knew it when it was happening, Copa and Serenity. I could see myself comforting myself and accepting the truth that, though I had not been perfect again, I was being a good enough mom. Because I was grateful for having seen it, I could be flexible, could let the goodness of what was learned be the good thing that kept me afloat, instead of falling into contempt for myself. I really am getting better, and I am so...well, yep. Grateful is the word. Thankful. Thankful, and I am not the contemptuous mother, after all. So many incredible things happened because you took your own time and kindly helped me for his sake, Copa. Another miracle, then. Truly, they are happening all around us, all the time. And I never once saw it coming. Didn't feel much like a miracle while it was happening, though. Ew. I just couldn't see it, Copa. I always do listen, when you post. I have to filter everything, and I can only see how I see until BOOM. Another layer. I am so pleased, Copa. Thank you. This will change everything, for me and for him. I do think he was pleased, to realize that I thought enough of him to care whether he would think I was right or wrong in my presentation. :O) You have been exploring it, Copa. You have been trying to tell me, too. I just could not see it. Now I do. HA! Thank you very much, Copa. :hugs: I am proud and happy for myself, too. It only hurt me for a little while. [/QUOTE]
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