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Slowly Breaking Me Down
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 625803" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>CA Mom,</p><p></p><p>What COM said above is very obvious in your posts of late. I was about to say something similar, then saw COM had already pointed it out. You are definitely getting stronger.</p><p></p><p>I was relating a little of your story to husband this afternoon. husband and I don't discuss our gfg33 and all that goes with him nearly as much these days, but from time to time we talk about how much better we are doing. You are DEFINITELY getting <strong>stronger</strong>....and if I dare say it, <strong><em>wiser. </em></strong>We pray for gfg33 daily and certainly hope he is in a better place--but nothing more we can do about that. difficult child would certainly say $$ would help him, but money never helped before.</p><p></p><p>In December and January I was right where you were when you started posting here. So much angst. The thought of blocking his number, walking away??? How could husband and I even consider such things? We <strong>had </strong>to be there for difficult child as long as we are on this earth. He is our son; we had no choice. Yes, he was messed up and all the more reason we could not detach. He <em>needed</em> us.</p><p></p><p>And, difficult child figured that way too. At least, he certainly acted like it. He demanded and demanded and got hateful, then more hateful, when we refused. Said terrible things that no child, no matter how old, should say to a parent.</p><p></p><p>And, then the lightbulb came on. Well, it just flickered for a week or so before it got serious wattage, lol.</p><p></p><p>No, we do NOT have to put up with that abuse and further more, we SHOULD not. And, yes, the hateful texts and emails escalated once we got serious. difficult child certainly thought husband and I could not bear not knowing how he is, what he is doing, could not stop worrying about whether he has a bed and food to eat. My guess is that, by now, he is starting to catch on that we can bear it. Granted, I doubt gfg33 thinks he caused it; in his mind, we are just awful parents.</p><p></p><p>As I have said before, this was not the first time he has been a jerk. So, husband and I can (and do) look back and wonder <em>What the heck took us so long to catch on to such a simple concept? </em>Somebody treats you badly over and over? Step out of the ring. Doesn't make any difference if it is a family member. Make new guidelines that demand respect. They won't abide by them? Their choice.</p><p></p><p>You will gain more and more peace and perspective. You are certainly getting there and I am happy for you.....because gee whiz, it sure is a better life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 625803, member: 17635"] CA Mom, What COM said above is very obvious in your posts of late. I was about to say something similar, then saw COM had already pointed it out. You are definitely getting stronger. I was relating a little of your story to husband this afternoon. husband and I don't discuss our gfg33 and all that goes with him nearly as much these days, but from time to time we talk about how much better we are doing. You are DEFINITELY getting [B]stronger[/B]....and if I dare say it, [B][I]wiser. [/I][/B]We pray for gfg33 daily and certainly hope he is in a better place--but nothing more we can do about that. difficult child would certainly say $$ would help him, but money never helped before. [I][B][/B][/I] In December and January I was right where you were when you started posting here. So much angst. The thought of blocking his number, walking away??? How could husband and I even consider such things? We [B]had [/B]to be there for difficult child as long as we are on this earth. He is our son; we had no choice. Yes, he was messed up and all the more reason we could not detach. He [I]needed[/I] us. And, difficult child figured that way too. At least, he certainly acted like it. He demanded and demanded and got hateful, then more hateful, when we refused. Said terrible things that no child, no matter how old, should say to a parent. And, then the lightbulb came on. Well, it just flickered for a week or so before it got serious wattage, lol. No, we do NOT have to put up with that abuse and further more, we SHOULD not. And, yes, the hateful texts and emails escalated once we got serious. difficult child certainly thought husband and I could not bear not knowing how he is, what he is doing, could not stop worrying about whether he has a bed and food to eat. My guess is that, by now, he is starting to catch on that we can bear it. Granted, I doubt gfg33 thinks he caused it; in his mind, we are just awful parents. As I have said before, this was not the first time he has been a jerk. So, husband and I can (and do) look back and wonder [I]What the heck took us so long to catch on to such a simple concept? [/I]Somebody treats you badly over and over? Step out of the ring. Doesn't make any difference if it is a family member. Make new guidelines that demand respect. They won't abide by them? Their choice. You will gain more and more peace and perspective. You are certainly getting there and I am happy for you.....because gee whiz, it sure is a better life. [/QUOTE]
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