Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Slowly Breaking Me Down
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 625818" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>When this is happening, this is a big signal to us that something is way, way out of whack. I have been told many times that when I'm more upset than difficult child is about his life, I'm enabling and I'm too engaged. The "hooks" are still way deep inside me. When this happens, I try hard to use my tool of Wait. Wait. Don't do anything. Let time pass. During my waiting time, I work on myself more, reading, writing, more Al-Anon meetings, etc. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is so so true and it takes a very long time to see any fruit here. I stopped enabling many months ago. I have set firmer and firmer boundaries. difficult child has ramped up. It would be easy to get discouraged and go back to old behaviors. But what keeps me moving forward is the FACT that I am much happier, more serene, more joyful, more contented. My life is way better even while his is way worse, at least on the surface.</p><p></p><p>I am grappling with the idea that his life is just what he wants it to be. </p><p></p><p>We must stop all of our reacting. And turn reacting to responding. Waiting is another key way to do that. </p><p></p><p>Great info, Kathy! Sounds like you have a very wise therapist.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 625818, member: 17542"] When this is happening, this is a big signal to us that something is way, way out of whack. I have been told many times that when I'm more upset than difficult child is about his life, I'm enabling and I'm too engaged. The "hooks" are still way deep inside me. When this happens, I try hard to use my tool of Wait. Wait. Don't do anything. Let time pass. During my waiting time, I work on myself more, reading, writing, more Al-Anon meetings, etc. This is so so true and it takes a very long time to see any fruit here. I stopped enabling many months ago. I have set firmer and firmer boundaries. difficult child has ramped up. It would be easy to get discouraged and go back to old behaviors. But what keeps me moving forward is the FACT that I am much happier, more serene, more joyful, more contented. My life is way better even while his is way worse, at least on the surface. I am grappling with the idea that his life is just what he wants it to be. We must stop all of our reacting. And turn reacting to responding. Waiting is another key way to do that. Great info, Kathy! Sounds like you have a very wise therapist. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Slowly Breaking Me Down
Top