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Slowly Breaking Me Down
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 625825" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>My difficult child has been creative trying to get around the blocks, also. She has changed her number to our area code but I have now blocked that, also. She tried using other peoples phones so I blocked the area code where she is living. She still managed to get through from time to time and left voice messages which I deleted without listening to. She has finally gotten the message and stopped calling me. </p><p></p><p>However, she now calls husband who is now the one that she is trying to manipulate. Luckily, she is living in a halfway house with a very astute house manager who calls her on her on her shenanigans and has asked us to put money only in difficult child's account and let her dole it out for things that difficult child really needs. She is going to work with difficult child on budgeting to make her money last through the week. She said to direct difficult child back to her every time she asks for something. She said she has no problem with saying no. Her IOP therapist is also working on life skills with her with the goal of weaning her off of us and towards total independent functioning.</p><p></p><p>Have you checked to see if there are food banks in the area? If so, point him towards those. However, as my therapist said, if he is hungry for a few days it won't kill him and it will make him more careful about how he uses his food stamps next time. After all, if you always supplement him when he runs out, why would he worry about staying in a budget? You are rewarding him for incompetence and lack of planning.</p><p></p><p>As far as his dog needing flea drops . . . I don't think I have the words for that. If he can't take care of himself, he should not have a dog. There is no way that he can be a responsible pet owner.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Staying strong is hard and you will need a lot of support. Keep posting and seek out a support group or a therapist to help you.</p><p></p><p>We understand and want to help.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 625825, member: 1967"] My difficult child has been creative trying to get around the blocks, also. She has changed her number to our area code but I have now blocked that, also. She tried using other peoples phones so I blocked the area code where she is living. She still managed to get through from time to time and left voice messages which I deleted without listening to. She has finally gotten the message and stopped calling me. However, she now calls husband who is now the one that she is trying to manipulate. Luckily, she is living in a halfway house with a very astute house manager who calls her on her on her shenanigans and has asked us to put money only in difficult child's account and let her dole it out for things that difficult child really needs. She is going to work with difficult child on budgeting to make her money last through the week. She said to direct difficult child back to her every time she asks for something. She said she has no problem with saying no. Her IOP therapist is also working on life skills with her with the goal of weaning her off of us and towards total independent functioning. Have you checked to see if there are food banks in the area? If so, point him towards those. However, as my therapist said, if he is hungry for a few days it won't kill him and it will make him more careful about how he uses his food stamps next time. After all, if you always supplement him when he runs out, why would he worry about staying in a budget? You are rewarding him for incompetence and lack of planning. As far as his dog needing flea drops . . . I don't think I have the words for that. If he can't take care of himself, he should not have a dog. There is no way that he can be a responsible pet owner. Hang in there. Staying strong is hard and you will need a lot of support. Keep posting and seek out a support group or a therapist to help you. We understand and want to help. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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