Small update to situation

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Tiapet, Jun 25, 2012.

  1. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Thank you all for the support you have given. I have not been around much lately as I've been concentrating on the home front since so much has been going on here with the difficult children and also myself. First, the update with middle difficult child and the terrorizing incident. I have to give you the story first. This is what happened:

    So on the day I posted (if I recall right anyway) middle difficult child received an envelope in the mail with her name on it but not addressed and a return address of the north pole and a physical address and legitimate information otherwise. Mind you she is 15 and does not believe in Santa Claus (what 15 year old does?). There was a stamp on it but it was one of those kids sticker stamps that you could not use for mailing with. Before she opened it I warned her to be careful with it thinking this wasn't going to be good just by return address. She has been harassed and bullied in past.

    ~ side note here~
    I had left the house at 11A and our mailbox was open, which it generally is never left open so I thought it odd and our mail doesn't come until after 1:30p days. Middle difficult child had brought that piece of mail in at 12:30p that day.

    She opens the envelope and inside is a piece of paper and on it is a printed out picture of herself and running down the side is the word "Lost" written and then her first name at the top and last name at the bottom. Now that may seem innocuous in itself but you have to think that they have no "friends" really in this neighborhood. We had no idea what the implications of this were and the picture that was on there was taken at the local YMCA which is what made it worse! She has never had her picture taken there for membership or any other purpose. That would have meant that a staff member would have had to take it with a camera feed there (like security or web camera) which they do have and it was taken at the check in/check out front desk. She knew she wore the shirt and necklace in the picture a week ago.

    We didn't know if this was someone that was a possible child molester (middle difficult child is well built for age and overly friendly/social with no boundaries or cognitive realization of stranger danger either) who was looking into her or some other malicious thing or as they also thought, a sick joke! Also the fact that it was hand delivered to our mailbox meant that this person had access to the membership records or followed them home at some point so it was rather serious. More so not knowing the intent of it.

    I couldn't reach a manager of the Y as it was a weekend and no one was there so had to wait until Monday to report this. I went in first thing on Monday and spoke to the manager who immediate got the director. They took the information and said they would look into it and assured me when they found out the person they would be fired. They were very concerned and unsettled too.

    I couldn't just sit on this after speaking to them and watching difficult child's behavior decline and seeing her acting more unsettled too. She started not sleeping at night, then sleeping all day, would be outside and feeling like someone was watching her, afraid to be out much let alone for for walks in the neighborhood which she always did before. I contacted the police as it was suggested I do as well. I was put in contact with the major crimes unit and then a detective there.

    I wasn't happy about how it was handled, even still, however. He took the information over the phone. Did not even come to the house to see the evidence. I called him back and had to leave 3 messages since Wednesday for follow up to see what he found out as well as messages at the Y with the director to see what he found out.

    Finally this morning I got a call from the director at the Y and this is what we now know and it's not complete as of yet, no names. Or at least the director wouldn't give me names! Turns out that the picture was taken by a staff member (who he said "has the fear in God in him") on his cell phone (and he is on probation only with "time off his schedule" NOT FIRED!) and that it was passed off to someone she knows from school. What I don't know, as I said are names and if this person from school goes to the Y too. I believe he said he would be calling me back after lunch with more information. I told him we are not letting this go. That difficult child has been bullied in the past in school which included being hit repeatedly on the bus (reported it over and over to the school who does nothing). I will NOT let this go and the police better not let this go either! We are involved in "The Bully Project" movement as well as "Rachel's Challange" (if you don't know about it look into it). We are not inclined to just let this go. This state has laws and we will use them to the fullest in this as this is bullying, harassment and stalking.

    While I'm glad it's not about a child molester at this time, bullying is not better either. It has been effecting both my difficult child's for years now where ever we've been and I'd have to say it's the worst here so far and no one is listening. I don't want my kids to end up committing suicide like others have and middle difficult child is depressed and now acting in ways she hasn't in the past. This is not good! Thankfully we have help and support but you have to stop it, period!

    As for my oldest difficult child, she was confronted on what she's been doing and restrictions have been put in place. We sat down and talked and between working with her therapist on issues and putting a plan of action into place so that she can move on with her life, I think we will be moving forward. She knows she was doing wrong. Her "excuse" was two fold. She "hates herself and doesn't care about her life" and that she is and adult and can do what she wants. Well, not happening.

    As for me, they just added diabetes to the mix of all the other **** diagnosis I have so wonderful! Just what I needed! What po'd me was the fact that the dr called in medication for me without even telling me. Who does that? I happen to be picking up medication for difficult child and it was there. Normally they would call and say hey you're labs came back and this was blah blah blah so we need to do this and put you on that. They didn't do that at all.

    Then I get the medication and read up on it. Some of the contraindications on it I have so couldn't understand why they would give me it but took it anyway. Shortly after taking the first pill my body reacted violently with pains in my stomach, pains in my liver area. It's been like that since Friday evening. I called dr today while also letting them know I wasn't happy not being told about what was wrong or getting a call about medication being called in, also about contraindications and the problems I'm having. Nurse says stop it and set up appointment to come in and see dr. Fine. Hopefully that ends the pains and didn't do any damage.

    So that is my update. I really hope that the police do take this serious and we get to the bottom of who did this and can deal with it. It's gone beyond petty bullying now and I've really watched my kids go through to much. I don't want to "have" to do this but I don't see any other way to stop it anymore and now it's escalated.

    Thanks for reading. I'm still not going to be around a whole lot. Still a lot going on here to have to handle. I try to check in every few days and read what I can. I am thinking and praying for those of you who need it, and even those who don't.......
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Per the letter............

    Scr*w bullying...........go for stalking. They take it much more serious. And you're not stretching it either if you go for stalking charges. Because this was an out of the way attempt to harass her. And honestly? I wouldn't be so quick to believe Mr. Adult staff member at the Y either. That story is mighty mighty weak, and anyone who knows anything about child predators know they hang/work where the kids are if at all possible.

    ((hugs)) You've had quite a time of it.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I am sorry Tia. I 100% agree with Hound about the stalking charges. This is plain and simple stalking with the intent to induce fear. That is the worst kind and I hope you don't let it go and that the police take it VERY seriously. It is!

    {{{{HUGS}}}} to you and difficult child. I can totally understand her fear and wanting to isolate. That is very understandable in this situation.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Call the police immediately. Then get an attorney for your daughter and family. Charges need to be filed. I'm not sue happy but this is not appropriate behavior at all. I know you don't want to, but this man will do this again, and again.....and next time he may not stop at just sending pictures, OR he may have done this in the past and the police need to link him to something he's done. He's a sick individual- this was NOT a joke.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Now as far as your health? Diabetes medication makes nearly everyone sick when they first take it. Maybe they can give you a lower dose and introduce more a little at a time?? Although with what you go through? Its a flap jack shoot. I'm so sorry for you my dear one.....Try nothing over 10 grams of sugar - and see if that your daily diet. (I know I know -----oh which way was the choir ? Preach preach preach)

    Love you -
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Tia... I'm assuming your diagnosis is type II and not type I? (i.e. not insulin-dependent?)
    In which case... look into the ZONE diet.
    It can't hurt, but I know from experience that it has a major impact on smoothing out blood sugar levels, which may reduce your need for medication.
  7. tia - What an awful thing for someone to do to your difficult child?!! I would definitely not let this go - pursue it to the end so that this person knows you are serious. I think the idea of going for stalking charges might be a good one as well.

    Will keep you in my prayers and hope that your diabetes can possibly be controlled with diet instead of medications. And prayers for your difficult child and that situation as well. :(