So aggraveted . . .

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Oct 8, 2010.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Tigger started at a PHP program designed for children with school anxiety. They kicked him out cause he was 'too severe'. They offered to have him evaluated for inpatient (course, he wouldn't have qualified by the time the admit person came down but I wasn't risking it and took him home). Course, they are CYA and called the school and said that they tried to admit him for inpatient but I refused to listen to them. And the psychiatrist that saw him yesterday didn't bother to call until after they kicked him out (another CYA effort as she offered no info and clearly had no clue about him as all of her comments were generalities and she got some of his history completely wrong).

    So another treatment failure for Tigger -- and he was so excited about going there this morning. He was kicked out about 2 hours into the morning. Thank GOD I did not drive any farther away. I was sitting in my car 12 minutes away when they called -- they called THREE more times in the 12 minutes it took me to get there -- I blew through the last red light (no traffic) cause they were threatening to call 911 if I wasn't there ASAP.

    I don't know how much more of this my mommy heart can take.
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I just can't stop crying...
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    JJJ, I'm sorry.

    Have medications for seizures been started? Are they helping at all?
  4. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    Oh I am so sorry you are going thru this. I understand when you say your mommy heart can't take this. I feel that way right now too. Hang in there. (((HUGS)))
  5. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    JJJ - this was not a treatment failure for Tigger. This was a program that... well, quite frankly, I'm rather nonplussed. Calling 911? Uh... what? Really, I'm just baffled by the whole thing. I guess they only treat kids with easy school anxiety. :rolleyes: Good grief.

    The only advice I can think of that makes any sense is to let it go for the weekend. It's going to be *beautiful*. Rake some leaves, visit a pumpkin patch, do some *fun* family stuff, and just let this go for a couple days. Monday (nope, make that Tues since Mon is a holiday) will come soon enough. You can put that warrior suit back on then and figure out what the next step is for Tigger. But not now, not this weekend.

    Be sure to let Tig know that this has got nothing to do with him and everything to do with adults who didn't have their ducks lined up. This was *not* a failure on his part. It was a bad recommendation to a place that doesn't do what they say they do. Poor kiddo. My heart aches for him, and you.

    Gentle hugs!
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I'm still so shaky. I think the fact that I have to leave him all day tomorrow is making this harder on me. He'll be with husband but still....

    I'm very fragile and weepy. The threat to take him for a forced inpatient stay really terrified me. I HATE that the state has the power to take a child from their parent without the parent being able to object until the child has been gone several days.

    It was time to do school work and he asked for help and they didn't help him so he got frustrated. He kicked a chair and knocked a snack off the table. They completely freaked out (which did a lot to calm him down). In the 12 minutes it took me to drive there -- they called THREE times. When I got there, there were 6-7 staff around him. He was laying on the floor.

    The thing that ticks me off the most is that they called the school and told them that they wanted him to be admitted and I refused and that he was a risk-of-harm-to-self. Seriously, then why did they let us walk out of the hospital? Talk about major C.Y.A. -- and then the psychiatrist calls to discuss medications, why??? She couldn't be bothered to call me when he was a patient but she needs to call now when she can do NOTHING since he is no longer her patient?

    Tigger asked me what was "upstairs" cause they told him if he didn't calm down he'd have to go "upstairs". He asked if that was where the devil worked? What kind of incompetent people threaten a kid with (a) a hospital stay that should be presented as an opportunity for help and (b) something that he doesn't understand why he should want to avoid it.

    What is so sad is Tigger had almost the same meltdown at school and once I got him calmed down, the teacher said it was totally up to me if I wanted him to finish the day at school or go home, that they were absolutely not suspending him for being unable to handle his anxiety.

    So the SCHOOL can deal but the HOSPITAL can't????
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Unbelieveable! :rolleyes:
  8. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    So sorry JJJ and Tigger too. The imcompetence ... And threatening to call 911 WTH !! HUGS DARLING
  9. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    How are you and Tigger doing today JJJ? Thinking of you!
  10. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    Hope you are finding some peace this weekend and are doing ok.

  11. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    Thinking about you and Tigger-
  12. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hey i'm so sorry. i know how much it hurts and rattles you to the very core. its' amazing how ridiculous some treatment places can be and how they handle children so poorly. i'm with slsh so i guess they handle easy school anxiety huh..?? **** jerks is all i gotta say. i have a case of constant cursing lately since difficult child isnt' home. :(

    i hope you spent time this weekend filing your cup up again. sometimes you gotta do it so you can battle on.

    (((Hugs to both of you))))
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry. I hope the weekend went better. This program sounds horrible. Always amazes me when the programs that are supposed to do so well with our kids call to say that they can't handle them. There was supposed to be a great day treatment program that sounded like it would have been great for difficult child-they said he had too many needs! Grr. Gentle hugs to you and Tigger.
  14. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Hi all,

    Thank you so much for the support. I ended up coming home early yesterday and skipping one of the things I was going to do but Tigger was giving husband a hard time and I just didn't feel right about being gone.

    Today was a much better day. If you don't count the two bathroom breaks; one was 40 minutes and the other 65 minutes both within a 3 hour period. Tigger has develop a huge phobia of bathrooms. He will only use women's washrooms that have stalls. The locks on the stalls must also be just so -- the first bathroom trip took 3 stall before we found one that was 'right'. I must be in the washroom and stand at the entrance so he can see my feet but not too close to the stall door. VERY frustrating. He sobbed all the way home because I wouldn't stop at the store cause he used so much time in the bathroom. He said that his life was devastated... :( Luckily, I was able to drive around long enough for him to fall asleep. When he woke up, we went to a neighbor's and they joined us at the park (actually friend's of my sister's that moved in last year but I just got around to meeting this week. He is now playing Wii with his brother and having a nice evening :)

    We are going to brainstorm some ideas tomorrow and meet with therapist on Tuesday to develop a plan to get him back in school, stop the meltdowns and decrease the anxiety. This is our first meeting with this therapist so we are putting a lot of blind faith into this (I have had three telephone conferences with her but this is our first in person meeting.)

    This place apparently handle only meek kids with anxiety. Tigger shoving the furniture was too much for them. Course, had they listened to me at all, it never would have gotten to that point. Very frustrating experience....but I am done crying and back in warrior mom armor!!!!!
  15. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    Go Warrior Mom!