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General Discussions
The Watercooler
SO and I had our first argument about difficult children.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 558234" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I agree with YOU and YOUR thinking. Maybe staying single is a good idea. It is very hard for others to understand difficult children and who wants to hear the lie about "spoiled" and "our fault?" Sounds like he's a good man to keep for dating, but not one who would adjust well to taking it any further. He does not understand how difficult our k ids are and how just chewing them out or even grounding them usually gets limited results. in my opinion it's probably better to keep him separate from your kids or you may hear this stuff all the time. Unless you are going to marry him, no reason for the kids to know him. </p><p></p><p>I have very little patience for those who honestly think WE cause our children's inappropriate behavior by "spoiling" them. Some kids are REALLY, TRULY spoiled and still behave. Our kids are wired differently and they are much, much harder to raise and it is NOT our faults. What are we supposed to do? Beat them. Even that probably wouldn't work...lol <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>In short, if your boyfriend can't change his way of thinking, I don't think you'll be very happy with him. Haven't you heard it all before, how it's all your fault? Do you really want to hear him explain how he could make them behave in ways that you did not? I personally don't think you are overreacting. in my opinion if somebody thinks difficult children are the way they are because of their upbringings, they are not really very good matches for us and our struggling children. This is JMO. I'm sure you'll get many who disagree with me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 558234, member: 1550"] I agree with YOU and YOUR thinking. Maybe staying single is a good idea. It is very hard for others to understand difficult children and who wants to hear the lie about "spoiled" and "our fault?" Sounds like he's a good man to keep for dating, but not one who would adjust well to taking it any further. He does not understand how difficult our k ids are and how just chewing them out or even grounding them usually gets limited results. in my opinion it's probably better to keep him separate from your kids or you may hear this stuff all the time. Unless you are going to marry him, no reason for the kids to know him. I have very little patience for those who honestly think WE cause our children's inappropriate behavior by "spoiling" them. Some kids are REALLY, TRULY spoiled and still behave. Our kids are wired differently and they are much, much harder to raise and it is NOT our faults. What are we supposed to do? Beat them. Even that probably wouldn't work...lol :) In short, if your boyfriend can't change his way of thinking, I don't think you'll be very happy with him. Haven't you heard it all before, how it's all your fault? Do you really want to hear him explain how he could make them behave in ways that you did not? I personally don't think you are overreacting. in my opinion if somebody thinks difficult children are the way they are because of their upbringings, they are not really very good matches for us and our struggling children. This is JMO. I'm sure you'll get many who disagree with me. [/QUOTE]
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SO and I had our first argument about difficult children.
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