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So angry I can't even see straight!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 315246" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>How aggravating!! Sounds like a real piece of work!</p><p></p><p>I actually get along (on the surface, as in we don't fight but under it all?? We don't really like each other) with my easy child's bio dad. He and his now wife are very involved with easy child. Although his court visitation says every second weekend, I have allowed without any problem, things to develop to pretty much 50/50. Living in the same town, school nights don't matter, he can drive her to school. I don't do it for him, or to feel good myself, I do it because my daughter deserves both of us. Period. She is benefitting.</p><p></p><p>having said that, there are times that I call him if I am very ill etc to see if he can take her after school. He is good about it. I am suitably thankful. Honestly thankful, not fake thankful. However. easy child gets upset when I become ill and can't pick her up when she's expecting me. I have MS so she worries like a mother hen. She cries her little heart out when dad pops up when she's expecting me. I ALWAYS ask her father to explain whats going on with me on those occassions and ask her to please call me when she arrives at his house. He has NEVER, not one single time, done this. If I call to his house to speak to her, if they are home he always gets her and I can speak with her. However if I have to leave a message, she is NEVER told I've left a message and I never get a return phone call. So she often is bawling her poor head off at school and upset all evening, and all through school the next day until I pick her up from school, all because her father doesn't explain why I didn't pick her up and because he doesn't have her phone me.</p><p></p><p>it is as if he resents that I exist. That she loves her mother, that she misses her mother, that I have a role to play in her life that can't be upsurped by anyone. Not him. Not his wife. </p><p></p><p>This is so stupid though. I in no way begrudge his or his wifes relationship with our daughter. I am eternally grateful she has a male role model in her life who loves her. I am grateful he married a woman who loves my daughter. I am glad they model good parenting. however, because they don't speak badly of me to her or speak badly directly to me, they assume their feelings towards me don't affect our child. But crying for mom with no explanations, when they have the explanations, is just cruel. And not allowing telephone contact unless forced into it, when I've been a pretty good ex really (letting visits go to 50/50 etc) is also cruel. So I completely understand how this isn't right.</p><p></p><p>If your ex doesn't get the head out of their butt, I say get whatever court order for telephone calls that you need. Its about your child, not your ex. If it takes a judge to make that happen for your child, well your ex chose that, not you. Hope things improve!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 315246, member: 4264"] How aggravating!! Sounds like a real piece of work! I actually get along (on the surface, as in we don't fight but under it all?? We don't really like each other) with my easy child's bio dad. He and his now wife are very involved with easy child. Although his court visitation says every second weekend, I have allowed without any problem, things to develop to pretty much 50/50. Living in the same town, school nights don't matter, he can drive her to school. I don't do it for him, or to feel good myself, I do it because my daughter deserves both of us. Period. She is benefitting. having said that, there are times that I call him if I am very ill etc to see if he can take her after school. He is good about it. I am suitably thankful. Honestly thankful, not fake thankful. However. easy child gets upset when I become ill and can't pick her up when she's expecting me. I have MS so she worries like a mother hen. She cries her little heart out when dad pops up when she's expecting me. I ALWAYS ask her father to explain whats going on with me on those occassions and ask her to please call me when she arrives at his house. He has NEVER, not one single time, done this. If I call to his house to speak to her, if they are home he always gets her and I can speak with her. However if I have to leave a message, she is NEVER told I've left a message and I never get a return phone call. So she often is bawling her poor head off at school and upset all evening, and all through school the next day until I pick her up from school, all because her father doesn't explain why I didn't pick her up and because he doesn't have her phone me. it is as if he resents that I exist. That she loves her mother, that she misses her mother, that I have a role to play in her life that can't be upsurped by anyone. Not him. Not his wife. This is so stupid though. I in no way begrudge his or his wifes relationship with our daughter. I am eternally grateful she has a male role model in her life who loves her. I am grateful he married a woman who loves my daughter. I am glad they model good parenting. however, because they don't speak badly of me to her or speak badly directly to me, they assume their feelings towards me don't affect our child. But crying for mom with no explanations, when they have the explanations, is just cruel. And not allowing telephone contact unless forced into it, when I've been a pretty good ex really (letting visits go to 50/50 etc) is also cruel. So I completely understand how this isn't right. If your ex doesn't get the head out of their butt, I say get whatever court order for telephone calls that you need. Its about your child, not your ex. If it takes a judge to make that happen for your child, well your ex chose that, not you. Hope things improve! [/QUOTE]
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