So angry with Cory...I am done with him

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DammitJanet, Mar 14, 2014.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    As most of you know I am in the process of taking the car dealer who sold me the POS. It has not even worked correctly since the end of September.

    Well I found out yesterday that Cory has been taking that car and going to SC to do some work. How he has managed to start it I dont know because I have the only key with me. Its one of those fancy keys that you have to get made at the car dealer. Now the last time I had to have one of those keys made for my prior car I had to show them my registration and driver's license before they would make the key to protect people from having crooks from simply stealing their cars. Trust me, Cory doesnt look like a Janet! And the car is only in my name so he couldnt claim to be Tony. Speaking of that, looking back, I actually sent Tony to the Ford place to try to get a new key for my focus and they wouldnt do it. So I dont know how Cory could manage to get a key to my SVU. I hope to all that is holy he hasnt hot wired the thing.

    Anyway, like I said I found this out yesterday afternoon. Billy came by the new place and told me. My issue with this is that he has known about it since MONDAY!!!!! He claims he just figured Tony told him he could use it. OH BS. Why didnt he call me and ask?

    Well when Tony got home last night I told him about it and believe me I was livid. We called Billy later that evening...about 8 pm and asked him if Cory was home yet. Answer was no. At this point I figured the car was broken down somewhere on the side of the road. According to Cory all he has to do to keep it running is put water in it. Uhhh, that means the water is going somewhere, most likely a cracked engine block. This makes it extremely stupid to drive it. Of course what does he care.

    We had told Billy to call us if Cory got home. Tony went by the house at 4:30 this morning and the SVU was gone. I called Billy just a few minutes ago and he tells me Cory came home last night about 9:30 and left before he got up this morning. WHY DIDNT HE CALL US???

    Needless to say I wanted to call the cops and report my car stolen and have everyone in the car arrested. According to Billy, Cory is letting someone else drive my car because they have a driver's license. Well this person knows it isnt Cory's car so he should have the common sense to know he should have gotten my permission.

    Tony's answer was...well if he goes to jail he cant pay rent. Do I care? I dont give a rats behind if we only get the 200 from Billy. It wont kill us to come up with the rest. Tony is also worried about the baby. Im not. If her parents cant take care of her she can go into foster care. Oh I am so horrible to even think like that. I have made it perfectly clear I will not have a toddler living in my home ever again. Jamie is willing to take her on. Best place for her because if Tony even attempts to bring her here there will be war. I will report to CPS that I am disabled and cannot take care of her and that Tony works full time. If I have to say we both take drugs, I will. I made it perfectly clear to Tony that I will never let Monkey spend any more time with Cory and he says I cant do that, he is her father. I told him all I have to do is tell Monkey's mother and she will give me permission. Of course we are arguing about this.

    It always happens. When I am done and want to do what should be done, he waffles. Oh he was mad as fire when Cory stole money from him but he wouldnt call the cops on him. For some reason I am wrong for even considering it. I dont get it. Evidently only he is allowed to get mad. Of course he doesnt think I am mad. He sees my detachment as just giving Cory permission to do as he pleases. Im not. I just know I cant change him so I simply dont expect anything else but him doing the wrong thing so Im not surprised.

    So far the change of address isnt doing us much good.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I would be livid too. PLEASE don't put blame on Billy for not telling you. Billy KNEW how upset you would be over Cory taking the car, and he knew Cory was wrong. Maybe he was hoping that he wouldn't have to tell you because Cory would stop. Maybe he told Cory that if it happened again then he would tell you. Billy is torn between knowing Cory is wrong, having to live with Cory, knowing how mad you would be, knowing that getting this irate is NOT good for your health, and knowing this will cause more conflama between you and Tony. He also has to know that you are likely to blame him even though he isn't the one taking the car. NOT a fun place to be if you are Billy, Know what I mean??

    Yes, Billy likely should have contacted you earlier, and also when Cory got home. Being angry at Billy won't help the situation and will make Billy less likely to tell you if Cory does this or anything like it in the future. Direct the anger to the person who deserves it, Cory.

    I don't get Tony, but I haven't understood him for a couple of years. Cory is TOTALLY out of line. in my opinion you SHOULD contact the cops, but maybe give him a few hours to talk to you. If Tony has one of those hunting cameras that you can put on a tree and it will record video if anything moves, then put it up near where the SUV is so that you have evidence that Cory is taking the car and/or loaning it out. That would be a big hel to proving what he is doing. I saw them in Walmart for around eight dollars last Christmas, so maybe you gave one to Tony at some time. *Or he would like one for Father's Day and you buy it early and use it for this?)

    Give yourself a while to think rationally about the outcome you want (besides Cory not taking your car with-o asking), and about how to get that outcome. Then take those steps. Be sure that you are acting rationally and not allowing your anger to get the best of you. I am NOT saying that you should not call the police and/or press charges. I am saying to think about the end result that you want and how to best achieve that result.

    Cory needs a swift kick in the pants. In many ways it seems like he is sliding back into the behavior he showed as a teen. What is he doing while he has your vehicle? Is there any use in asking him or in talking to him about this? Or will it end up in a fight just like when you tell him he needs to start parenting Mouse and setting boundaries for her? Is he going out to do something or just joyriding with your vehicle? Is he loaning it to friends? Could he be renting it to friends? Using it for illegal purposes that could have it seized? Willing to pay the impound and towing fees when he gets pulled over and arrested for driving with-o license and insurance?

    Either way, I am sorry that Cory is making such awful choices and is abusing you and your generosity and property. He NEEDS to grow up. He is an adult and it is time to stop being a jerk to his mother.
  3. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Problems do not recognize geographical boundaries.
  4. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Where is the mother when he's out and about? or who is watching that baby? You know you are not able to care for her and you know exactly what to never worry about that. It's stressful to worry and you can fix that problem easily if it came to that. From the sound of how he cares for her she seems safer in foster care anyway. Tony is not home and he has no say.

    Can you get the car to you now? Anything of value is not safe there. Corey's behavior has become so normal to Tony that he is blind to the horror of it. This is not some small forgivable trespass against you, stealing cars and money...soon it will esculate and then he'll really be in jail. He knows you are not Tony, he remembers when he stole checks, yet he still behaves like this, he knows you and he is asking for it.

    On another note, for the sake of your sanity, can you let it all go? The car, everything... and enjoy your peace? It may be worth it.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am angry at Billy over the way he handled it. At his age he should have been well aware of what the right thing to do is. The only reason he even told me was he came over to my place angry at me because my phone wasnt charged and I didnt answer him. He had gone to the ER Wednesday night and they kept him all night because he has this big mrsa on his lower stomach. At some point in the conversation Billy mentioned that Cory had said how he was going to clean everything up when we moved out but according to Billy, he hasnt. He also made a remark about how Cory was coming home every day about 4:30 in the afternoon. See, Cory evidently got hired on to cut down limbs in SC for a couple of weeks. We all thought he was going to be staying down there. Thats the point when Billy said something about my van. According to Billy, he thought he saw Tony give Cory the key but that would have made absolutely no sense. Tony didnt have the key. Also since a few weeks ago when Cory put my truck in the ditch during one of the ice storms, there is no way we would let him in one of our vehicles.

    However Billy is like that. If it doesnt concern him, he will just shrug it off.

    We did manage to catch Cory at home this afternoon even though my van wasnt there. Tony and Jamie went over to make him get it back for us. Since it wasnt at my house we figured that he had it stashed over at the guy's house who he was letting drive it. Not. The stupid van had broken down in SC and they left it on the side of the road and called Mandy to come get them. They had to tow it home.

    Now lets talk about Mandy. She is a liar plain and simple. She is sitting on the phone telling Tony what he wants to hear and playing all pitiful. Yet she knew exactly what was happening but not telling us. Even when Tony asked her for this Curt guys number she first told him she knew it but when pressed she backed off and said it was in her other phone. Oh bs. Then today when we found out Cory was at the house and Jamie and Tony got ready to head over there, she grabbed one of the cell phones and called the magic jack number at the house and then called Curt to tell them that we were on our way over. Yeah...she is so innocent.

    Tony and I got into a huge argument when he got back with the van. He had to take Cory with them to see where the car was and when I saw him in the yard I got mad. I also noticed that the baby was still here. I could have sworn that Mandy took her with her when she left trying to beat Tony over to the trailer. But no, everyone says that the baby wanted to stay with her Papa so they took her in the truck which has no car seat in it.

    When Tony got home and he tried to lay her down in my bed I was royally ticked off. She woke up screaming and when I went outside to see my van and yell at Cory I pushed her into his arms and told him to never bring her around me again. As far as they are concerned they can forget I am alive. Tony is ticked off and said, in front of everyone, that he loves McKenzie more than he loves any of his other grandchildren. I told him he was a fool because I dont even think she is Cory's. She looks nothing like us and in fact, looks much more like the boyfriend she had before Cory who she was hanging out with when she got pregnant. In fact, according to birth date, she got pregnant the first two weeks of Dec, 2010. Ummm... everyone but her was up in VA because of my father dying. He died on 12/2 and was buried on 12/7. We all got home on the 9th I think.

    But no matter what, the baby is her parents responsibility. I am not taking on another child. Especially one who is completely ODD now. It will only get worse. Plus when the baby is around Monkey is pushed to the side and told that she has to share everything she has with the baby. Monkey isnt allowed to have anything that is just hers. That makes me so mad. Even her shirts and underwear have to be shared. Unreal.

    But anyway, I do think I found out who the local dealer is around the house and I am going to call it in to the cops. Jamie says it would hurt my lawsuit if I had them arrested for stealing the car though I dont know how. However since my car wont start again and Cory claimed it was only water that needed to be in the car to keep it running, Im wondering if he cracked the block completely. The first time Cory told me he thought that the only thing wrong with the car was it needed water I told him that was stupid because when we got the car I had all the fluids checked. If the car lost all its water in a month then something major is wrong. If he drove the car hot then he did major damage to it and he could not care less. Well he might as well realize I meant what I said. He lost a mother and a grandmother to that child. I can also make it happen that he will never have access to Monkey again if anyone gets in my way. Im not letting her around some crackhead ho. If Mandy wants to allow it thats her business. I figure she is using it too to be honest. I am not going to tell anyone else but if Tony tries to force having McKenzie here then I am simply going to call CPS and report all of them and tell them they need to pull both parents in at the same time for drug tests or they will fake the tests. They both know how because they have been on probation. When that happens they will put the baby in foster care and I will tell them that I am unable to take care of a baby in my condition. Besides that, our lease says only Tony and I can live here though our grandchildren can visit twice a month for a weekend. He definitely wouldnt okay a toddler living here full time. He wanted quiet older couples to rent to.

    No location doesnt solve anything. We have argued almost every day over something. Even something as stupid as a piece of trash falling out of the trash can. And the man hasnt even attempted to touch me in almost two years. We have been her just a little over two weeks and even though I got to bed when he does, he just rolls over and ignores me. Im just about done with the whole thing and if I had a place to go I probably would but Im not moving back in to the trailer with Cory and Billy there and I would have a hard time moving it away because I put a solid metal roof on it. In the last two years I have spent over 10K in repairs to the place. I cant even afford the place on my own. Not to mention it is sitting on Tony's land and he could kick me off in a second.
  6. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    First I'm thinking that the car was junk when they sold it illegally, and you drove it and it's still on earth does that change things? Right? Who cares if someone stole it and it broke down, that just proves it's junk. In front of a judge you could even pretend that your son borrowed it, it broke down, wouldn't that add credence to the lawsuit?

    This is your new place, nobody but you and Tony live there, nobody is wandering in. You know how to prevent all this, call the apt manager or even cps. Monkey is a different story. You should cultivate your relationship and spoil her, she needs that and so do you. All these problems between Tony and you are directly related to C. Tony's never been enlightened like all of us on this board. Many, if not all of us, are never on the same page as our SO's. I causes huge problems in a relationship. The effect are hurtful and awful, and frustrating. The only thing I can add is, count down the hours til he leaves for work and enjoy the peace and sanity when he's gone. If he brings corey around, walk out, run errands, whatever. Don't engage in ugliness. I sometimes stay completely silent when husband gets mad at me. He's yelling at himself, I refuse to be involved. You know what you will allow in this world and accept nothing less. Once you give in, they will take advantage from then on. I'm happy you live there alone.

    I think corey wants attention, he wants more from you, he has to get over the fact you are gone. He has to grow up, Tony should let him figure out his life and not enable him like this. Corey can do it if Tony backs off.

    Is there some clandestine and cheap way to disprove paternity? Just a thought, please don't take offense.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member give good advice. Im wondering though...did you mean Monkey or Mouse? I have always loved and spoiled Monkey though Tony now claims I didnt want her when she was a baby. Well there was a time, in the first few months of her life, that I was terrified to get close to her because I was afraid she would be snatched out of our lives. Once I figured out that wasnt going to happen, she has been the love of my life. Personally I dont care if she isnt my blood but I do think she is because she has my exact same color eyes and she looks a whole lot like Cory did when they were young plus now she looks a lot like Tony's niece but they have different color hair.

    Mouse is another story. I do think there is a OTC dna test and I could probably run that if I watched carefully and maybe got hair from Mandy and Cory. Or if they would accept cigarette butts.

    I dont know that will matter though because of different things. Read my post on watercooler. Supposedly Tony has had it with Cory, at least right now. Of course, Tony wants me to do all the dirty work of filing charges on him and all that. At this point thats fine with me because I want Cory and his cohorts in prison.