So, any advice...ask? Or not?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Shari, Mar 4, 2010.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    So...any thoughts or words of wisdom on whether or not I ask about the notes that supposedly go home and must be signed and returned every time an assignment is missing?

    (referencing the end of the OMG post)
  2. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Shari - I wouldn't. It seems like your interventions are extremely unappreciated by mom and only serve to force easy child/difficult child to dig herself deeper holes. Honestly, while I think I have an idea of how much the lying is burning your toast, I would let it go. If husband wants to ask, great. You have enough on your plate and it just seems to me, based on prior history with- mom, that somehow you're going to end up being the bad guy. It seems like mom hasn't heard you too well up to this point, and how long do you want to keep banging your head against a brick wall?

    Disclaimer: I'm getting very old and tired and not willing to put up with much garbage, certainly am not inviting it into my life - sometimes I'm thinking a don't-ask/don't-tell policy may not be all that bad when dealing with- difficult children.

    Just my opinion, though. ;)
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I would not ask. You already know it won't do any good, and it just gets you all fired up. Stand firm on what affects you directly, refer phone calls from school either to husband or to difficult child mom, and take care of you and Wee.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I appreciate your thoughts. That's kinda where I'm at, and then, at times, I feel guilty, like I'm giving up on her.

    But I can't make much headway if mom's just gonna beleive every flippin' story the child fabricates, and no, there is NO backup from mom (she's still angry at me for "making stuff up", and very little from dad). I know this girl is lying thru her teeth, and it just gets my goat to smile at her and pretend its just fine with me. 'Cause its not.

    If mom had just dealt with daughter about all this when daughter asked to go with us, I'd have never been the wiser to any of it, and frankly, I think I'd have prefered that at this point. She would be going camping with us, I wouldn't know her "I'm so sick" story, and all would be well in my world.

    As it is, I now know she's continued this lie and I have to put up with her this weekend, and honestly, I don't want to be around her.

    I expect she will be perfectly pleasant to me this weekend, but I'm not sure I have the umph to return the favor.

    I guess the bigger natural consequence of all this is that this girl wants to live with us instead of her mom, and I'll be you-know-what-ed if she's gonna voluntarily move into my house acting like that. I suppose someone ought to let her know that.