So difficult child has decided...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by mstang67chic, Jan 30, 2008.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    ......that he will live with his friend (T) if/when we kick him out. He says that T lives with his older brother and both of them said he could stay with them. I can picture would last a week. That's assuming, of course, that T really DOES live with his brother. I called T's mom today. Nope....T lives at home and difficult child will not be living with them. :rofl:

    He also informed us (oh so pleasantly) in counseling today that once he's 18, he will not be taking his medications. He doesn't need them and we make him take them just because. I'm looking forward to THAT.

    Actually his pleasant behavior started when we were still in the waiting room. He has been switched to an adult case manager but we haven't met her yet as she leaves for vacation on Friday. She heard we were there so she came out and introduced herself. I mentioned that since I didn't think we would be seeing her for a couple of weeks, I hadn't told difficult child about the switch yet. He piped right up..."What did you sign me up for NOW?!" (Sometimes I just want to flick his head right off of his shoulders) So she nicely explains what the deal is and he tells her that he doesn't want or need services after he's 18. (LOL this was after she said quietly to me...."I remember him from the summer youth program a couple of years ago. I'm pretty sure I yelled at him". Oh I'm sure she did! LOL)

    I swear that boy is going to sabatoge himself right into jail, a shelter or both. :919Mad:

    And by the way............OMG was it cold today! :cold: I'm pretty sure it was colder in other parts of the country but ugh. 20 below wind chill at 9:00 this morning and I was in and out of the car all day lugging stuff around. Brrrr.
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    Sometimes, a stint through jail or a shelter is enough of a wakeup call for our kids. Generally speaking, the more we detach from them, the sooner they fall on their faces and get a grip on reality. It is the hardest thing, but try not to react whn he decides to move in with T's brother. Let him. And let it last a week. Bully for him.

    Ah jeeze. These kids.
  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Did you ask him if he needed more boxes for packing? Sheesh! Why do they think that it's some big threat when they act all nasty and threaten to move out?

    You go right ahead, sweetie, don't let us stop you from your rightful path!
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sounds like difficult child is blowing alot of "about to turn 18" hot air to me. lol

    Nice to know his new case manager already knows him and remembers him. I'm sure that'll be a big help. :tongue:

    Just remember if he sabotages himself, that it's HIS doing, not yours. Sometimes those shooting yourself in the foot lessons are the ones that stick.

  5. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Oh yeah, I have witnessed the "when I turn 18" spiel and heard all the stuff he "wasn't" going to do anymore. I was pretty weary by then of dragging him to school, trolling the neighborhood at odd hours in the morning trying to find his sorry behind, and having to deal with other related and assundry difficult child "stuff" I found myself kinda relieved when he hit that milestone.

    I swear they think on that day, the heavens are going to part, a great light will appear, heavenly voices will sing and some metamorphis will take place..Ha...Not..
    Its just another day older for you, and for me, I am not responsible anymore for any bonehead choices..

  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I swear I danced a jig on the day Cory turned 18 because it meant that when he pulled any boneheaded stunts I could look everyone in the face and say....go talk to him, he isnt MY problem anymore! He did it, he deals with it. I think I even drank a whole bottle of wine to Im sure Cory thinks it was to celebrate his birthday but it was to celebrate my freedom..lmao!
  7. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    When difficult child 1 turned 18 I was probably as happy as she was. She could leave home at last without me having to report her missing! She did move out about a month before she turned 18--I figured no "authorities" would care by that time so I allowed it.

    She has told me many times since then that she had no idea how hard it would be--turning 18 wasn't as wonderful as she expected. She was all set for the freedom but didn't realize she would have to also do grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, fix meals, etc. She took all that for granted while living at home, as if it all just magically happened.
  8. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Oh, I do love the "I'm 18 and you can't make me do a thing!" memories. I simply told her that while she's legally an adult, she is still living in my house. Therefore, my house, my rules. If she doesn't like them, there's the door and here are some plastic bags to pack her stuff. She did leave. She also came crawling back (three times) when things didn't work out and her "friends" kicked her out.

    It's not easy, It sure as heck isn't fun, but sometimes the best thing we can do is let them leave or, if they won't leave, help them out the door. Good luck! Who knows, he may get an eye opener or two and decide home ain't so bad after all.
  9. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    He will learn once he has to "fend" for at home will look pretty good, but it is something they don't get until they actually go thru trying to live with someone else and seeing that the day to day stuff doesn't get done by the "mom fairy"..... Just a matter of how fast he boomerangs back home and if you let him in.....good luck and we with over 18teeners so know what you are hearing.......