I cost him his childhood. Why? because all the other boys in Department of Juvenile Justice have already had experiences with drugs, sex, and doing whatever they want. "Momma, I've only been high 2 to 3 times and been drunk once and never had any sex with anyone". I reminded difficult child that he's been incarcerated since he turned 14yo. He said still, look at what all they have done and he has missed out on and it's all because I raised him to be a geek who wore glasses, was in cub scouts, studied, took swim lessons and played baseball. I said, "difficult child, are you telling me that if I had let you get drunk, get stoned, and get laid before you were 14yo that I would have been a good mother and you wouldn't be in here?" No answer. Then he says he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know how to do anything normally and missed his childhood and doesn't know any other way to live now. I reminded him that he wanted to do what typical 17yo do and then some when he was 13yo. His eyes lit up and he said "oh heck yeah". I said well, we'll see what you let your kids do when they are 5 or 8 or 10 or 13 yo. Then he called 3 hours later and apologized and said he didn't mean any of it was my fault. Sigh. In the mind of a difficult child.... Will this kid ever own up and really get it?