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So glad to know I'm not alone
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<blockquote data-quote="restlesstoo" data-source="post: 117393" data-attributes="member: 4522"><p>Thanks for the advice. A lot of it has been started since school went back after the holidays. He has been moved to advanced classes for math and reading, and I have started meeting with his teachers on Fridays to see how things went (actually, I've started going in every other day to checkon thngs), what work has been missed or what he needs help on. The counselor has started a group meeting for kids with absent parents; it's helping him some to vent about his Dad (he can tell others he's angry at him, but can't talk to his father about it, and I feel that's one of his major stressors) The counselor and gifted teacher are forming a group to help perfectionists learn how to cope when they can't be, and the gifted teacher is also working to help him organize things. I've talked with his teachers from years before (older teachers that taught the old way); they feel a lot of his problem at school is the teacher is not structured enough, and I tend to agree. The work he can't get done in an hour at school he can do in five minutes here.</p><p></p><p>His teacher is a firm beleiver in not giving homework, which I find frustrating. We have bought a few workbooks for subjects he's interested in to challenge him at home, but it's hard to get him not to do all the pages in one sitting! </p><p></p><p>The lies worry me because his father has the same habit, and he honestly believes his lies to the point where eventually he can no longer remember the truth. when confronted with proof, he'll sceram and get very profane (even in front of difficult child) until I either drop it or hang up the phone (ad he'll call back repeatedly, screaming at my answering machine with difficult child right beside him hearing it) difficult child will lie about anything, whether it's to get him out of trouble or not. He'll insist you told him something, when it's the exact opposite of what you said, will deny doing things when he knows you stood there and watched them, then get defensive and scream and slam doors because "no one ever believes him"</p><p></p><p>When he's in a good mood, we can have the most entertaining discussions about things most ten year olds never think of (if Adam and Eve were the first man and woman and we have scientific proof of cavemen, does that mean they were cavemen?) We went to the Space and Rocket center last summer and had a wonderful time, with him listening while I explained things, then he would be off and running on his own theories . . . His Dad insists he's no more intelligent than any other child, but then, most of their interaction revolves around video games.</p><p></p><p>If I try to talk to him about his attitudes or his feelings, he gets defensive or shuts me out . . . the only thing I've found that works is to walk away from him and let him come to me, but it's hard sometimes. I'm going to find that book and read it this weekend . . . and I appreciate your input so much! I keep saying with all my training in sociology, psychology and teaching, I shouldn't have these problems, but I guess it's harder to see the problem when it's your own child!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="restlesstoo, post: 117393, member: 4522"] Thanks for the advice. A lot of it has been started since school went back after the holidays. He has been moved to advanced classes for math and reading, and I have started meeting with his teachers on Fridays to see how things went (actually, I've started going in every other day to checkon thngs), what work has been missed or what he needs help on. The counselor has started a group meeting for kids with absent parents; it's helping him some to vent about his Dad (he can tell others he's angry at him, but can't talk to his father about it, and I feel that's one of his major stressors) The counselor and gifted teacher are forming a group to help perfectionists learn how to cope when they can't be, and the gifted teacher is also working to help him organize things. I've talked with his teachers from years before (older teachers that taught the old way); they feel a lot of his problem at school is the teacher is not structured enough, and I tend to agree. The work he can't get done in an hour at school he can do in five minutes here. His teacher is a firm beleiver in not giving homework, which I find frustrating. We have bought a few workbooks for subjects he's interested in to challenge him at home, but it's hard to get him not to do all the pages in one sitting! The lies worry me because his father has the same habit, and he honestly believes his lies to the point where eventually he can no longer remember the truth. when confronted with proof, he'll sceram and get very profane (even in front of difficult child) until I either drop it or hang up the phone (ad he'll call back repeatedly, screaming at my answering machine with difficult child right beside him hearing it) difficult child will lie about anything, whether it's to get him out of trouble or not. He'll insist you told him something, when it's the exact opposite of what you said, will deny doing things when he knows you stood there and watched them, then get defensive and scream and slam doors because "no one ever believes him" When he's in a good mood, we can have the most entertaining discussions about things most ten year olds never think of (if Adam and Eve were the first man and woman and we have scientific proof of cavemen, does that mean they were cavemen?) We went to the Space and Rocket center last summer and had a wonderful time, with him listening while I explained things, then he would be off and running on his own theories . . . His Dad insists he's no more intelligent than any other child, but then, most of their interaction revolves around video games. If I try to talk to him about his attitudes or his feelings, he gets defensive or shuts me out . . . the only thing I've found that works is to walk away from him and let him come to me, but it's hard sometimes. I'm going to find that book and read it this weekend . . . and I appreciate your input so much! I keep saying with all my training in sociology, psychology and teaching, I shouldn't have these problems, but I guess it's harder to see the problem when it's your own child! [/QUOTE]
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