So I climbed to the top of a phone pole - and jumped

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Steely, Oct 8, 2008.

  1. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    ..............To a trapeze, which I almost caught, but instead slipped, so I was catapulted through the air, flying like superman. :sad-very:
    Yep, I did my first ropes course today! And it was the scariest physical adventure I have ever done. EVER! EVER!

    It was a truly interesting & self reflective moment, this day. (And all with my co-workers......hmmmm.)

    It started with some benign wall climbing stuff, and then progressed to the "trust fall", where you fall backward into eveyone's arms. All I could think about was how this team of people at work has stabbed me in the back so many times, why would I literally fall into their arms. So I chose not to do it.

    Then it progressed to climbing these huge ladders as a team. As I watched the teams climb, or try to climb the ladder, I had a panic attack and bowed out. There was only one group that could actually do it, but by then I was feeling bad that I was only being a passive participant, and starting to want to push through my own mortal fear.

    So the next exercise was climbing a telephone pole, and then balancing on a platform 1' x2' while another person climbed to the top to join you. Then the 2 of you had to stand on the 1' x 2' platform together, while the pole quivered, and both of you jump trying to catch a trapeze. I was having a full blown panic attack, and yet I did it. I stood up, holding my bosses hand, and jumped into thin air. I think I am just now recovering - however - I overcame something I did not think I could overcome. My own mental barrier.

    I hate to be watched by people while doing physical things..........hate it. I never played team sports or was athletic in any way. I am really very self conscious. And yet here we all are, our big butts waving in the wind climbing ladders and telephone poles for all to see. I did not want to be that vulnerable. However I did it.

    The really interesting point of this, is it was supposed to be team building - and yet had my therapist been there I would have been in and out of therapy all day. It brought up so many, many emotions.

    My own inadequacies, my fear of being vulnerable, my lack of trust, in everyone! I am pretty sure every PTS issue I have was touched on today. It was really intense.
    And of couse my sister - resurfaced over and over again. And Matt, and how he is out there doing this same thing every day in his therapeutic program in Utah, and today was only a glimpse into his own personal trek.

    Really, today was a journey of proportion.
    I would encourage you, if you have an opportunity to do something like this, to do it.
    And to those of you who have done it. Kudos.:peaceful:
  2. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    Wow, it sounds intense and emotionally draining but in a good way. I'm glad you found the extra courage to participate, although I think you picked the hardest thing LOL. I hope you still feel its benefits in the days to come.
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Holy MOLY!

    I'm speechless. You are a braver lass than I.
  4. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Now there's a way to get over your fears and emotions! Holy Moly!
    I'm glad you are doing something new and exciting. Good for you!
  5. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    :bravo:So, so, so, so, so, so, so... did I say I am SO proud of you???
    Well I am!:yourock::you_go_girl:
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    You know, I've overcome many many obsticles and fears in my life........ But you my dear, I bow to because I know there is no way in hades I could ever do what you did.

    What an awesome feat. You should be very very proud of yourself tonight. I know I'm SO MAJORLY PROUD OF YOU!!!! :D
  7. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Wow! I at first thought you were describing how you were feeling going through something. When I realized you actually DID this! Wow!

    :bravo::bravo::holymoly::whew::warrior::yourock::you_go_girl: Wow!
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    WOW, sounds like a great experience. We have a ropes course here in town that the university runs. I always wanted to go out there, but have never really had an opportunity. And I am a risk, insurance wise, for them. Their screening has pretty much made it look like they wouldn't take me.

    I am jealous!! VERT GLAD you had this chance, and had such a great experience!!


  9. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I am so proud of you for finally facing a fear. I am not one who is afraid of anything. My PTSD comes more from not being in control, so the fall into others would be really hard for me, and I would be bossy on the team building stuff--but the jump---just me and the trapeze---I'm there.

    What does that say about me????

    You, Steely, have so much to do in life. Only by beginning to face the fears you have, by letting go and letting people in, will you be able to move forward. Will you be hurt? Yeah! But, always remember to never expect from anyone else any behavior you don't expect from yourself. Remember to trust yourself first. Remember that you have the power within you to change your life.

    I believe in you. I'm looking forward to watching you learn to believe in yourself.
  10. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Way to go! It is always an empowering act when you do something you never thought you could, but then......we always thought you had that inner strength to do something like this......
  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Wow! How awesome is that!
  12. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Crikey, Steely - when you challenge yourself, you REALLY challenge yourself! Way To Go.

    Can you write to Matt and let him know about this? Would that be helpful?

    While your body has been taking these risks in trust and challenges, so has your mind. That's a lot to take in.

  13. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Holy maccaroni and cheese. That is so cool. Glad that you did this and you got so much from it. Me nope not coming off that pole that is if I got up it to begin with.

  14. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    That's really cool! When you go for it, your really go for it! :thumbsup:
  15. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Way to go, girl! You should be so very proud of yourself. :D
  16. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    Holy Carp! I am proud of you, but if you saw me, you'd understand why I would have to quit if my job even tried something like that!