So lost dealing with a depressed 13 year old...long lonely road..

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lonelyroad, Mar 30, 2012.

  1. lonelyroad

    lonelyroad New Member

    This is taking a horrible toll on our family, but worst toll is on our 13 year old, I just need someone to chat with who is going thru this...
    It all started Xmas 2010, so we have been BATTLING this for 15 months, no end in sight...they won't say bipolar yet, but reading about the different drugs we have tried I think that's what they think. They keep saying it is hormonal...and she matured very early, period at 11 years, one month. She is the size of a fully mature female, yet her brain isn't so the medications are tricky...

    Each "cycle" lasts about 6 weeks, we have four "normal" weeks, then 10 or more days of extreme sadness, unworthiness, hate, weight gain, sleeping all the time, sheer exhaustion...and in that time cannot go to school.

    We tried zoloft, no luck, prozac for 6 months, no luck, now she is on 100 mg of Seroquel XR and if anything this last episode has been the WORST!! We are on day 10 of this cycle and no sign of it letting up.

    All she talks about is wanting to point living like this..last night, the only friend that has stuck around, her boyfriend, she told him basically to go away..and he agreed and then she was even more upset...I told her not to make decisions like this when she was that upset...

    All her close friends, that she had since she was 4 are gone...

    Back to the Psychiatrist today, I need her off this medication as it is making her violent, huge outbursts that have never happened before. The Doctor says she is a puzzle as she isn't reacting to any medications...

    Grade 8 is supposed to be such a great year, Graduation, big trip, she is missing everything...

    I am almost tempted to get her off ALL medications and see what happens, trust me it can't be any worse then this

    Newest drug we just started is Ability, praying it will help...
  2. liz

    liz Guest

    I hope the Abilify works for her. I know what you mean about the 4 "normal" weeks and such. I watch my sister cycle through this and it is very difficult to watch. I feel for you.... ((HUGS!!))
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    ((Hugs)) it is hard to watch your child suffer and not be able to fix it. Have you asked your psychiatric doctor about a truer mood stabilizer (Depakote, Lamictal, etc)? It sounds like this all started around when she got her period. Did her medical doctor do a full workup to check her hormone levels? Sometimes they get really off. With my oldest daughter, we put her on birth control pills at 12 because of a similiar 'cycle' (she wasn't having sex, it was just to help regulate her hormones). They can even rx the pills in such a way that it stops her menstral cycle for a while.
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    Welcome! I'm with JJJ. Have you explored birth control pills? Does this "cycle" she is having coincide at all with her menstrual cycle?

    I can tell you that I had (still have) this kind of mood cycle. In my life I was on 3 different types of birth control. The first made the moods worse and more pronounced the second was the best and then second was replaced by another crappy one (clinic funding) so I went back to the second and struggled to pay for it myself - it was that AWESOME!

    From what you wrote, it really seems that these mood issues came on at the same time as puberty. It's the best first place to look.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hi, my son got more violent on seroquel too. Also on Prozac. He is really back to being aggressive now. just on day two of a higher dose or zyprexa and it is at least taking the physical edge off of it.

    I was going to ask about birth control too. Also just a full neuro check to make sure nothing is going on. My son was treated (as a young toddler) as a behavior problem etc.. and he ended up having a brain mass. It is rare but I dont know your story and what else is going on so I thought I'd mention it. My niece gets very depressed and makes rash decisions that affect friends etc. when she has her cycle. Birth control has really helped. (when she takes it) If it works for her and you can do a longer acting form if she is not great about pills.

    Glad you found us, you are not alone.... Hoping the Abilify helps.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If she's already "fully developed" physically, I'm assuming that process started some time before Xmas 2010. In which case... what happened, in particular, around the time of "Xmas 2010"? There could be a trigger-event that you are not aware of - such as being sexually abused by a peer, an older kid, a teacher...
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome to our little corner of the world. I'm glad you found us because you will receive much support here; sorry you needed to. My daughter sounds a lot like yours. We did get her on birth control to help with her moods. It wasn't enough. She would go through these horrible deep lows and still does at times. She trialed a variety of medications and has been doing better on her current ones which include Risperdone and Bupropian (sp?). For her things have also gotten much better since she is out of school.

    by the way, my son was extremely violent on Seroquel.
  8. lonelyroad

    lonelyroad New Member

    At first we thought it was at period time, but it turns out to be almost every six weeks...

    I had to fight to get her on birth doctor was against it, but FINALLY did last summer...

    She has had a horrible two weeks, longest spell yet, the plan is to get her in the school every day, not necessarily to class but in the building.

    Today was horrible, she started walking away from the school. finally got her inside...but she had a miserable day.

    Says she will never go back to her class..says she wants to die, would rather be dead, etc....

    Not nice to see your smar, beautiful 13 year old go thru this.

    I want my daughter who sings in the shower back............
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I hear that! My biggest hug to you....It is just awful to see your kid go through so much (and at the same time get so frustrated with them, ugg). I pray you can find some answers and get some more support.
  10. keista

    keista New Member


    So sorry. I guess wishful thinking doesn't always work. As horrible as PMS/PMDD can be, it is easier to manage.

    I'll keep fingers crossed that the Abilify works for her. Did wonders for my son at that exact age.
  11. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    If you think that she really means it when she says she wants to die, you need to consider if hospitalization is appropriate.

    Have you seen an endocrinologist? Had blood tests for estrogen levels, etc. to see if it is hormonal? EEG, sleeping and awake for some kind of seizure, head CT? Sometimes for the first year or two, cycles aren't four weeks - I got my period at 11 (and lucky me, NOT!, show no signs of stopping as i near 53) and for the first 2 years, it was every 6 to 7 weeks, since then I am still regular 28 days except in pregnancy.

    Has she had any manic episodes or she is just on the depressive scale? maybe dysthmia might be something to look into.

    Good luck, I hope you get your little girl happy again.
  12. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    difficult child wasn't as severe as yours, for depression, but... school was the major trigger. Some of the statements you list, sound familiar.

    Any idea what there is about school that is part of the problem?
    Any way to find out if there's hidden stuff going on that has been sapping the life out of her for years? (un-diagnosed challenges, bullying, extreme effort required compared to results/rewards, etc.?)
  13. somerset

    somerset Member

    My difficult child suffers from major depression. SHe missed all the 8th grade activities she had looked forward to and her graduation . She's now in 9th grade and we are struggling to get her to one class a day.

    With such a regular cycle of depression, it really sounds like your difficult child has something physical going on. Her doctors really need to look into that. I don't know enough about bipolar to know if mood cycles are that regular, but I think the fact that there's an obvious cycle is significant.
  14. lonelyroad

    lonelyroad New Member

    OH Somerset, you are in the same place we are, I am so scared of this happening....Graduation...I am petrified that she will miss all of this...10 weeks to go, there is a 2 night class trip....she will probably miss this..

    She wants to delete all of her facebook stuff as she doesnt want to see any of this stuff going on...

    God I hate this life for her..
  15. keista

    keista New Member

    Deleted due to moved thread.
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2012
  16. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    Has she been hospitalized? I know the prospect may sound scary but sometimes it is what it takes to help them break out of it and then the hospital can better monitor the medications. The suicidal ideation is scary. <<hugs>> hang in there.