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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 122018" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Shari, I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with all of this. I hear you, I've been there done that in spades. You've been picking up the slack for husband and your family for so long, that everyone around you has lost sight of the slack that you've picked up. I'm also betting that you just get on and do it, because it takes as much energy to whine about it as it does to get something done. The problem is, when you keep taking on burden after burden, those close to you figure that you're strong enough to handle everything that life throws at you. </p><p></p><p> I agree with the others who have recommended making a list. I also agree with those who have suggested that you stop. Stop taking on everything. Give the ponies away, take your car back from husband and have him make arrangements to get his own truck fixed. Stop washing his clothes, taking care of his messes, and picking up after him.Continue doing for yourself and difficult child, but your husband is a big boy, and he can take care of himself.</p><p></p><p>It will be hard, no doubt your husband will complain, and try to get you to continue doing what you're doing. </p><p></p><p>Think of it this way...right now, the only reason he has to do what you ask him is because having you mad at him and standing over him is harder than just doing what you ask. However, doing the work when you're not there watching and whining is way harder than sitting like a lump in front of the TV.</p><p></p><p>Stop nagging, but also stop doing for him. When he asks you why the alternator isn't in the truck yet, reply, "I don't know when I'll have time to get to that. Maybe you should see to it" and walk away.</p><p></p><p>Anything that you can't cope with, get rid of. Anything that you can do without, but that's important to your husband, let him take care of. Anything that's yours that YOU need (such as your car) take back.</p><p></p><p>You're on your way to burnout, Shari, and then you won't be any help to yourself or your children. You need to stop now, while you still have the strength to do so.</p><p></p><p>I got to the point of collapsing from exhaustion at work last year, from doing everything for everybody. I was then where you are now. Speaking from experience, you have to stop because no one else will pick up the slack until there is slack sitting on the floor to be picked up.</p><p></p><p>Take care of you, Shari.</p><p></p><p>All the best,</p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 122018, member: 3907"] Shari, I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with all of this. I hear you, I've been there done that in spades. You've been picking up the slack for husband and your family for so long, that everyone around you has lost sight of the slack that you've picked up. I'm also betting that you just get on and do it, because it takes as much energy to whine about it as it does to get something done. The problem is, when you keep taking on burden after burden, those close to you figure that you're strong enough to handle everything that life throws at you. I agree with the others who have recommended making a list. I also agree with those who have suggested that you stop. Stop taking on everything. Give the ponies away, take your car back from husband and have him make arrangements to get his own truck fixed. Stop washing his clothes, taking care of his messes, and picking up after him.Continue doing for yourself and difficult child, but your husband is a big boy, and he can take care of himself. It will be hard, no doubt your husband will complain, and try to get you to continue doing what you're doing. Think of it this way...right now, the only reason he has to do what you ask him is because having you mad at him and standing over him is harder than just doing what you ask. However, doing the work when you're not there watching and whining is way harder than sitting like a lump in front of the TV. Stop nagging, but also stop doing for him. When he asks you why the alternator isn't in the truck yet, reply, "I don't know when I'll have time to get to that. Maybe you should see to it" and walk away. Anything that you can't cope with, get rid of. Anything that you can do without, but that's important to your husband, let him take care of. Anything that's yours that YOU need (such as your car) take back. You're on your way to burnout, Shari, and then you won't be any help to yourself or your children. You need to stop now, while you still have the strength to do so. I got to the point of collapsing from exhaustion at work last year, from doing everything for everybody. I was then where you are now. Speaking from experience, you have to stop because no one else will pick up the slack until there is slack sitting on the floor to be picked up. Take care of you, Shari. All the best, Trinity [/QUOTE]
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