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So now driving has opened up a new set of difficult child adventures
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 637625" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>I'm feeling more empowered by reading all your good advice and words of wisdom, so a big Thanks to you all! And of course, it's up to me to act on the advice.</p><p> </p><p>To show that there is hope for me (lol), I did have the conversation with younger son about the driving. I said, "You won't be driving unaccompanied any more until you get your real license." He said, "But you let me drive before with no problems. You probably don't even realize how many unlicensed drivers there are around here, and the cops don't really care about it. Seriously, I'm a good driver and nothing is going to happen." I said, "It's a new rule, no more driving until you have your license."</p><p> </p><p>So last night he asked if he could drive a few blocks to the quick stop to buy an energy drink. I said "No," and he said, "Well, it was worth a try." I ended up taking a walk with him to the store and we had a nice talk.</p><p>HM, your words ring very true:</p><p> </p><p style="margin-left: 20px">That's why we've pretty much all come to a place where we must be firm in our "NO". Sometimes I think the best way to say, "NO" is to just say that one word -- "NO". Any other words attached (like reasons why) just give them ammo to work with. I like plain old "NO". Big, clear, concise...."NO".</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p><p>As you can see by the above conversation, when I say "no," difficult child starts kicking in to serious manipulation mode. He's a quick thinker and would probably make a great defense attorney one day if he could ever pass a college class!</p><p> </p><p>And MWM, I thank you for your candor and sharing. You sound like one tough cookie! (meant in a good way). You and HM (and all who others who have been so helpful) seem to have mastered the art of setting boundaries and enforcing them, and I'm learning a lot from you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 637625, member: 18099"] I'm feeling more empowered by reading all your good advice and words of wisdom, so a big Thanks to you all! And of course, it's up to me to act on the advice. To show that there is hope for me (lol), I did have the conversation with younger son about the driving. I said, "You won't be driving unaccompanied any more until you get your real license." He said, "But you let me drive before with no problems. You probably don't even realize how many unlicensed drivers there are around here, and the cops don't really care about it. Seriously, I'm a good driver and nothing is going to happen." I said, "It's a new rule, no more driving until you have your license." So last night he asked if he could drive a few blocks to the quick stop to buy an energy drink. I said "No," and he said, "Well, it was worth a try." I ended up taking a walk with him to the store and we had a nice talk. HM, your words ring very true: [INDENT]That's why we've pretty much all come to a place where we must be firm in our "NO". Sometimes I think the best way to say, "NO" is to just say that one word -- "NO". Any other words attached (like reasons why) just give them ammo to work with. I like plain old "NO". Big, clear, concise...."NO". [/INDENT] As you can see by the above conversation, when I say "no," difficult child starts kicking in to serious manipulation mode. He's a quick thinker and would probably make a great defense attorney one day if he could ever pass a college class! And MWM, I thank you for your candor and sharing. You sound like one tough cookie! (meant in a good way). You and HM (and all who others who have been so helpful) seem to have mastered the art of setting boundaries and enforcing them, and I'm learning a lot from you. [/QUOTE]
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So now driving has opened up a new set of difficult child adventures
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